Have you ever been told: "You know you can do it!", or "All it takes it takes is willpower and discipline", but for some reason you did not succeed in following through? Or have you ever caught yourself thinking, "I should have known better…", but you did it anyway? Do you ever wonder why?
The answer lies within one of the most fundamental human conflicts; the conflict between the head and the heart. A conflict between what we know we should do and what we really want for ourselves, yet we are not always clear about what causes us to make those choices. This classical dilemma is about a conflict between your 'social self' and your 'authentic self'.
The world of your social self is conditioned by the rules of your upbringing, the beliefs and values of your family and culture you were born into. It determines the criteria by which we measure whether you fit in, feel accepted, acknowledged and validated.
It gives us a sense of security and a feeling of belonging. It outlines what we have to do, and how we are supposed to be, to be okay. The world of the social self is about how we respond to the expectations of others.
On the other hand, there is the world of your authentic self. Your authentic self is expressed through your heart's desires. It is what you truly want for yourself. It is more about being than about doing. It is the world of your inner feelings and intuition. It is the world of heart and passion.
As a life coach I often work with people who experience inner turmoil, anxiety, or stress, and more often the not it's because the voice of their authentic self is muffled, overwhelmed, even strangled, by the voices of other people's expectations or the voice of your own social self.
Past experiences and your sense of logic might lead you down a certain path, yet it cannot assure whether your heart will be in it!
I believe we all want to be happy, yet we don't always know what makes us happy!
Unless we get very clear about our personal 'criteria', the things that are really important to our authentic selves, we remain stuck, feel anxious and sometimes even get depressed.
If you wish to experience more joy and fulfillment, listen to your own heart for direction, because these are sounds no one else can hear. Dare to be yourself. As Montana Gray said so simply, "When you live your authentic life, you have no competition!"