Why would anyone be afraid of success? Spiders, yes. Fear of heights, sure. Anxiety and fear of public speaking, of course. But fear of success?
It might surprise you to know that many, many people - if not the majority - are actually afraid of being successful. This comes as a surprise to many people because it seems so counter-intuitive and because we often never realize that this is at the heart of achieving the results we deserve in our professional and personal lives. Consider the following thoughts and beliefs that often surface during life coaching dialogues:
- the thought that you are unworthy of having good things happen to you—good things only happen to other people
- being paralyzed by the thought that if you try and you fail, it will be too devastating
- believing that you're just not good enough, not talented enough, not competent enough, not deserving enough, etc.
- thinking that somehow anything you accomplish will explode and turn into something bad or painful down the road
- the idea that no matter how much you win and succeed, it'll never be enough to satisfy you or fill up your emptiness
- only being able to see the other people in the world that you perceive as being better than you are and feeling intimidated by them
- thinking that once (or if) you get to the top, you won't be able to stay there
- believing that once you start a project and get your hopes up, your motivation will fade and you'll just be letting yourself down
Do any of these thoughts sound familiar? If so, the first step is to recognize and acknowledge that you are sabotaging yourself with self-destructive thinking based on erroneous belief patterns. Once you identify the limiting belief(s), ask yourself what holding this belief achieved for you in the past? You see, we don’t adopt beliefs that serve no purpose. Only when you recognize and fully understand the positive purpose of the belief can you not only challenge it but replace it with a more empowering belief. Examples of positive and empowering beliefs are:
- "I am really good at giving and receiving."
- "I deserve to be paid well for my work."
- "I am good enough to have what I want."
- "I am as good as anyone to have what I want."
- "I can have what I want and be really lovable"
- "I'm the kind of person who gets what I want by asking."
- "I deserve to have what I want in life."
- "I can have what I want, and help others get what they want."
- "When I follow my heart, I create what I want."
- "I can have money and be close to my family."
- "When I really know what I want, things come to me naturally."
- "My needs are as important as anyone's."
- "I can achieve whatever I set my mind to do."
- "I can have what I want and still be connected to God."
- "I am safe to be all of who I am."
If you realize now that you do have a fear of success or you recognize that you’re still holding on to limiting beliefs, consider working with a trained and qualified life coach for assistance and guidance.