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Ten Life Coaching Questions To Ask Yourself Into the New Year (3/10)

by Dieter Pauwels December 30, 2008

Question # 3: "How Do I Honor My Core Values?"

Your core values express the essence of who you are. Although you may share similar values with others, you have a unique set of values. Many of the important decisions that you make, and the actions you take, are based on the values that you hold. Your values, together with the beliefs that support them, are an energetic driving force and provide meaning and direction in your life.

If you commit time and energy to something that violates or neglects one of your core values, you will most likely feel resentful and frustrated. If your values are not respected at your job or in your relationships, you will feel that something is missing.

While it is enormously helpful to know your core values, it is not always easy to identify them.
Often these things are so much a part of who you are, that they become invisible to you.

Create a list for yourself by thinking about the ideas and questions below. Don’t worry about getting it right and capturing all of your values. Your list will be a work in progress. Also, your values don’t have to be a single word; they could be a string of words or sentences or themes. Find the words that work best for you.

Think about the following questions:

  • What is important to you?
  • What do you really care about?
  • What do you really want in your life?
  • When do you feel happiest?
  • Select a time from your life when you felt particular fulfilled. There may have been challenges,but you were still on a roll. It may have been a few minutes, or hours or days. What was important about that experience? What values were you honoring?
  • What do you react negatively to? What makes you angry or frustrated?
    What value is being violated? What kinds of situations cause you to feel incongruent? When are you not being true to yourself?

For each of us, there are usually values that are so much a part of us that we don’t even think to put them on a list. These are often our most dearly held values. A teacher might fail to include learning; an artist might forget to write down creativity, a business owner might overlook financial success.

Generate a list of values. Next notice which of these in your life you are honoring, which "get lost" or are neglected, and which you sometimes violate through behaviors or choices.


Question # 10: "How am I spending my time?"

Question # 9: "What Would I Do If I Knew I Couldn’t Fail?"

Question # 8: "Who Am I becoming?"

Question # 7: "What Am I Tolerating?"

Question # 6: "Where Do I Focus My Attention?"

Question # 5: "How Am I Using My Talents?

Question # 4: "Who Do I spend My Time With?

 

Take a moment and write down the unique qualities that define you?
What are the qualities that are at the core of who you are?

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