Have you ever been told: "You know you can do it!", or "All it takes it takes is willpower and discipline", but for some reason you did not succeed in following through? Or have you ever caught yourself thinking, "I should have known better…", but you did it anyway? Do you ever wonder why?

The answer lies within one of the most fundamental human conflicts; the conflict between the head and the heart. A conflict between what we know we should do and what we really want for ourselves, yet we are not always clear about what causes us to make those choices. This classical dilemma is about a conflict between your 'social self' and your 'authentic self'.

The world of your social self is conditioned by the rules of your upbringing, the beliefs and values of your family and culture you were born into. It determines the criteria by which we measure whether you fit in, feel accepted, acknowledged and validated.

It gives us a sense of security and a feeling of belonging. It outlines what we have to do, and how we are supposed to be, to be okay. The world of the social self is about how we respond to the expectations of others.

On the other hand, there is the world of your authentic self. Your authentic self is expressed through your heart's desires. It is what you truly want for yourself. It is more about being than about doing. It is the world of your inner feelings and intuition. It is the world of heart and passion.

As a life coach I often work with people who experience inner turmoil, anxiety, or stress, and more often the not it's because the voice of their authentic self is muffled, overwhelmed, even strangled, by the voices of other people's expectations or the voice of your own social self.

Past experiences and your sense of logic might lead you down a certain path, yet it cannot assure whether your heart will be in it!

I believe we all want to be happy, yet we don't always know what makes us happy!
Unless we get very clear about our personal 'criteria', the things that are really important to our authentic selves, we remain stuck, feel anxious and sometimes even get depressed.

If you wish to experience more joy and fulfillment, listen to your own heart for direction, because these are sounds no one else can hear. Dare to be yourself. As Montana Gray said so simply, "When you live your authentic life, you have no competition!"

Stress often causes us to breathe shallowly and this almost always causes increased stress. Mentally scan your body for physical tension. Does your chest feel tight?
If so, you may be holding your breath without even knowing it. Shallow breathing puts less oxygen into the blood stream, producing an increase in muscle tension. When you experience headaches or feel anxious and uptight, try this:

• Choose a comfortable place to sit, preferably away from other people. Sit up straight and keep your feet flat on the floor. Imagine and feel your feet being rooted and connected to the earth.
  
• Place your hand on your chest. Place the other hand at your middle Dan Tian, one of your body's three reservoirs of energy centered at the middle of the chest.
  
• Begin taking slow, deep belly breaths. Concentrate on your body expanding and contracting. Visualize your energy sinking lower and lower into your body. Continue this breathing exercise for one to three minutes or a minimum of ten sets.  Breathing into the lower Dan Tian (below the naval) helps release fear and anxiety. In doing so, you create additional stability, and become more centered and secure within yourself and your body.

Relaxation techniques were designed to relieve stress, anxiety and can even help with some medical conditions. There are a number of ways or techniques that can be used to relieve stress, and all of them work differently for different people. If one of the following techniques doesn’t work for you, the next one on the list may. Feel free to experiment with the relaxation techniques listed, in order to find the one that works best for you.

Yoga: Yoga has been practiced for hundreds of years, and has helped millions of people cope with stress. You can either take a class or learn Yoga techniques from books or the Internet. Stretching, breathing and focusing techniques are the basis of Yoga, all of which are beneficial to someone undergoing stress.

Meditation: Meditation is basically a form of thinking, or a way of focusing and sharpening the mind on one thing. It promotes relaxation, and many people use it on a daily basis to relieve stress and anxiety.

Soothing Music: Soothing music can be used to relax the mind and body. The old adage that, “music soothes the savage beast,” isn’t far from the truth. Try a CD of nature sounds, or perhaps some soothing classical music is the best choice. It all depends on your own musical tastes.

Deep Breathing Techniques: Stress often causes us to breathe shallowly and this almost always increased stress. Mentally scan your body for physical tension. Does your chest feel tight? If so, you may be holding your breath without even knowing it. Shallow breathing puts less oxygen in the blood stream, producing an increase in muscle tension. When you experience headaches or feel anxious and uptight, try this:

• Choose a comfortable place to sit, preferably away from other people. Sit up straight and keep your feet flat on the floor. Imagine and feel your feet being rooted and connected to the earth.
• Place your hand on your chest at your middle Dan Tian, one of your body's three reservoirs of energy, located between the middle of the chest; also between the eyes and below the navel to nourish the energy of the heart which "houses the mind." Place your other hand on your belly just below your navel, at your lower Dan Tian, to nourish the energy of the kidneys.
• Begin taking slow, deep belly breaths. Concentrate on your body expanding and contracting. Visualize your energy sinking lower and lower into your body. Continue this breathing exercise for one to three minutes. Breathing into the lower Dan Tian helps release fear and anxiety. In doing so, you create more stability and become more centered and secure within yourself and your body.

A Massage: Who wouldn’t love a nice back massage? Treat yourself every now and then to a well deserved massage. It will help you relax tensed muscles, and relieve stress.

A Hot Bath: Curling up with a book in a nice hot tub is a terrific way to end the day. You can also add some candles in order to enhance the relaxing atmosphere, while the hot water relaxes your muscles and washes your cares away.

Try these relaxing techniques to help you cope with your stress. They’re relatively cheap, and the benefits can be enormous.

1. Environmental Control

2. Learn to Express Your Feelings in a Respectful Manner

3. Make Time for You

4. Laughter is Good for You

5. Self-Medication is Not a Good Idea

Workplace stress or job stress is a very real problem in workplaces around the world. When the demands of the job surpass what you can safely and mentally handle, it can cause headaches, loss of sleep, irritability, stomach upset and make it difficult to concentrate on the task at hand. Not only does it have an adverse effect on you, but also on your company. Stress costs companies around the globe millions of dollars per year. Imagine how much more productive you would be if could cope with stress more effectively? Less sick days and no pounding headaches would invariably lead to more production.

There’s little doubt that the economy is changing, and it’s not for the better in most cases. Stocks are plummeting and real estate isn’t faring much better. With economic woes comes stress, too.