A wise man once said, "I can predict the future."
"Amazing!" The people shouted, "How can you do that?"
"It's easy", he said, "Most likely it will be a continuation of the present."

Even when the path you are currently on is not taking you where you want to go, the lures of comfort, safety, security, and familiarity pull you to continue in the same direction.  The notion of an easy and uneventful journey compels us to follow along the path of least resistance and complacently accept what life hands us. 

The problem is that, the longer you follow the same route, the harder it is to get off.  After a while, even when you come to a branch in the road, you blindly ignore it in favor of the expected and routine.  When this happens, the future can be foreseen.   Past experiences are simply recycled in the present.

How do you get on this predictable road?  It’s easy really, you simply don't take the time to contemplate what's really important to you.  You don’t think about what you want to accomplish, you don’t think about who you want to be, you don’t think about what will make you happy and content; all you do is react. 

When a log blocks your path, you might find a way over it.  To many people this is success.  But it is only truly successful if by hurtling the log, you get yourself closer to your desired goals.  If you haven’t thought about where you want to go, then how do you know whether you should go over the log or find a path that takes you away from the log altogether? 

When your company downsizes, do you panic and send out resumes en mass, hoping to secure a job somewhere else before you are laid off?  Or, do you use the opportunity as a time to contemplate starting a business, going back to school or finding a position that is better aligned with your core values, inner talents and strengths?  When you are offered a new position in a different state, do you automatically uproot your family and move across the country, or do you ask yourself if the opportunity is really right for you? 

You won’t know what alternatives to pursue if you don’t have a vision for your future. And without a vision, you won’t have the courage or motivation you need to swerve off your path.  Some people think that the little devil you know, is better than the little devil you don't know. But if you continue to face the same demons, how will you ever find out if a devil even exists on the other roads available to you? 

Through my life and career coaching experiences, I have found that most people know what they don't want in their lives, but cannot clearly envision the life they really do want. If I ask you not to think of a blue balloon, can you do it?  Probably not, in fact you are likely thinking of a blue balloon right now.  What that means is you are attending to the very thing I asked you not to.  The same holds true for the things you don’t want.  When you tell yourself what not to do or be, your attention will take you there anyway.

In order to make any changes in your life, all it really takes is to turn, perhaps ever so slightly, in the direction you truly want to go. Whether you turn east or west, north or south will depend on your vision for yourself.  Here’s how to prepare to change your destination and alter your life’s itinerary:

• Accept where you are today.  The present is the only place from which you can move forward. An attitude of acceptance allows change and opens up the opportunity to find a new direction.
  
• Allow yourself to carry only those experiences, beliefs and memories from the past that will support you on the road ahead.
  
• Remember that the past is a trail that is behind you. It is neither good or bad, only thinking it is, makes it so.
  
• Ask yourself, "Where can I go from here?" or "What steps can I take today that will take me down the path I really want to follow?"

The path of life has very wide shoulders; you are not limited to one narrow goat trail.  Following the one, well-beaten trail you see will lead you on an unfulfilling journey.  Create a vision for your future that excites you and motivates you, and then use that enthusiasm to clear a new trail – one that will take you exactly where you want to go, doing the things you are most passionate about, surrounded by the people you love. 

About Dieter Pauwels:

Dieter Pauwels is a professional certified life, business and career coach, speaker and author, facilitating personal and organizational transformation. He works with both individuals and teams to create new possibilities, manage change and maximize their productivity and personal effectiveness.

You can visit his website at www.dieterpauwels.com or read his comments and thoughts on the impact of coaching on life and business on his blog at http://lifecoaching.dieterpauwels.com

What are some of the leadership lessons we can learn from the formation and synchronized movements of a flock of birds, like geese or starlings, to organize effective teams?

1. A common purpose or aim
 
When birds fly in formation, they travel about 70% faster than when they fly alone. When people share a common aim or sense of community, they achieve results more quickly by trusting one another. People can only be fully committed when the common objective of the team (or corporation) is aligned with their own individual objectives, values and principles.
In many companies, the overall (sales) targets only deliver on the aims of the people at the top of the hierarchy. In order to inspire people and create loyalty, company goals and targets need to be aligned with a broader common purpose. Shared objectives and principles will lead to increased creativity, innovations and new solutions. We need common ground to create uncommon results! 

2. Commitment to others
 
Birds of a feather flock together. The highly coordinated movements of a flock of birds are among the most fascinating phenomena to be found in nature. A flock of birds seems to turn and maneuver as a single unit, changing direction almost instantaneously.

Commitment to each other forms the foundation for synergy that allows a team to work in unity. Commitment to others can only be achieved through honest communication, contribution and cooperation. The individual commitment to a team effort is what makes a team successful! A strong sense of commitment creates a feeling of belonging and security.

3. Shared leadership
 
Observation shows that geese rotate leadership regularly and frequently. Different birds will be at the front of the flock every time it changes direction. Successful teams share leadership according to the changing circumstances. Leadership shifts to where it is most appropriate based on the individual skills, knowledge and strengths of its members. The old business paradigm, based on hierarchy – a single leader - and individualism, undermines the productivity and effectiveness of many teams.

About Dieter Pauwels:

Dieter Pauwels is a professional certified life, business and career coach, speaker and author, facilitating personal and organizational transformation. He works with both individuals and teams to create new possibilities, manage change and maximize their productivity and personal effectiveness.

You can visit his website at www.dieterpauwels.com or read his comments and thoughts on the impact of coaching on life and business on his blog at http://lifecoaching.dieterpauwels.com

One can wonder if happiness is real or even possible to achieve. What is it that makes people happy? When we set goals, pursue a career, or choose a relationship, we do so because we believe that ultimately it will make us feel a certain way. We believe it will make us happy!  Sometimes these things do make us happy, at least for a little while, and sometimes we feel even further removed from the prize in our pursuit of happiness.

What are the criteria by which we measure happiness? Is it love, success, personal growth, personal fulfillment or money?
Studies have shown that even the most wealthy people in the United States are only slightly happier than average. Take a look in People magazine, and you’ll see exactly what I’m talking about. Celebrities might be rich and famous, yet do most of them look happier than you or I? 

Based on scientific studies and my own research and experience as a professional certified life coach and business coach, I have created a success formula on how to be happy.

H = E + (U + C + I)

H stands for the level of Happiness

Happiness is experienced as an emotional state of being. You can only be happy in the present moment.
Happiness is not some sort of reward you’ll receive in the future for accomplishing certain tasks or getting what you think you want.  Sure, accomplishing a goal will probably make you happy, and pursuing one will too. However, just because you have a goal, doesn’t mean you’ll be happy.

When you project your feelings of happiness based on some event or circumstance in the future, like achieving a certain goal, getting a promotion at work or a possible future relationship, you’ll find yourself empty handed.  Expectation doesn’t always equal success, and you’re basically setting yourself up for a fall.

The reason this strategy doesn’t work is because what you fail to take into consideration is the fact that it’s still going to be the same person, namely you, with that promotion or in that new relationship. Real happiness is not something to be waited for. If you wait for things to change in your life in order to feel happy, you will miss out on that what you seek.

We all experience happiness in our own unique way. For example, I can experience happiness in the smile of a child, by the encouragement of a friend, a breakthrough during a life coaching conversation, watching a beautiful sunset or listening to a musical masterpiece performed by Andrea Bocelli.

E stands for Environment

Some people tend to be naturally or genetically happier than others. A new British study suggests that half the differences in happiness are related to genes. According to co-researcher Tim Bates, from the School of Philosophy, Psychology and Language Sciences at the University of Edinburgh, those happiness-related genes are genes for personality, namely for being extroverted, emotionally stable and conscientious. The genes that predispose people to happiness are related to certain personality traits such as being outgoing, calm and reliable. If you don't worry excessively and are sociable and conscientious, you are more likely to be happier.

We all have inner resources or capabilities to develop a happier lifestyle. When you make a commitment to personal growth and self development, you can further develop and strengthen your personal happiness related qualities.

U stands for Understanding

Seek to understand what makes you happy. Yes we all want to be happy, yet we don’t always know what makes us happy.

Many people have a pretty good idea about the stuff that doesn’t make them happy or the things they do no longer want in their lives. They continue to talk about the job they don’t like or the fact that they don’t get paid enough for the work they do. Others keep complaining about their relationships at home or at work.  The more you focus on what you don’t want, the more likely you will attract similar circumstances in your life. Also, when you define happiness based on what other people are saying or doing, it will be difficult for you to experience it.

Everyone is unique. We all seek different ways and capacities to experience happiness. Once you get clear on what happiness means to you, the more likely it is that you will experience it.

Once you understand how specifically you operate, and what motivates you (core beliefs, values and goals) you maximize your innate ability to find value and happiness in all expressions and experiences of your life.

A personal coach can help you identify your core values, strengths and beliefs, and develop a plan to achieve and enjoy a higher level of authentic happiness. Identifying, acknowledging and understanding your unique way of being allows you to choose and create more of the experiences that make you happy.

C stands for Circumstances

Circumstances come from the outside, the things over which you have little control. Sometimes the odds are in your favor and sometimes they are against you. You can’t control the state of the economy, or the weather, or the way people behave or react. The more you let outside forces determine your overall state of happiness, the more it will elude you.

Receiving a nice bonus can make you happy – at least for a while, but enduring happiness can only come from the inside, and that’s something you can control.

I stands for Intentional

This is under your control. The emotional state and consequent feelings of happiness depend on what you allow yourself to experience. Setting your intent is about directing your focus in the present moment toward a future outcome or goal. Because of the constantly changing environment of your life, setting your intent is an ever renewing process. When you set your intent, you are opening the doors to create the kinds of life experiences that you want to have.

Your intentions are thoughts, and your thoughts are energy. Your thoughts affect your emotional state and the way you feel about the things in your life. The way you feel will greatly influence the actions you decide to take or not to take. The actions you take determine the results you get.

These results will affect your life experiences and create your perception of reality. What you perceive to be true for yourself will shape your beliefs and your outlook on life. That’s why happy people live happy lives and angry people live angry lives. It is a self fulfilling prophecy!

Happiness is a way of being. It is being appreciative of who you are. It is being grateful for the unique talents you have been blessed with. Happiness is the joy of being alive. Happiness is that inner knowing that you made a contribution, that you gave your best effort possible, no matter the ultimate outcome.

Happiness has no regrets. Happiness comes from the heart and has a profound effect on your physical, emotional and spiritual well being.

Happiness is a choice! Be the cause of your own happiness and watch the ripple effect it has on others.

Choose happiness. Make it a habit.

About Dieter Pauwels:

Dieter Pauwels is a professional certified life, business and career coach, speaker and author, facilitating personal and organizational transformation. He works with both individuals and teams to create new possibilities, manage change and maximize their productivity and personal effectiveness.

You can visit his website at www.dieterpauwels.com or read his comments and thoughts on the impact of coaching on life and business on his blog at http://lifecoaching.dieterpauwels.com

We are living in a fast paced world and it seems to be moving faster each year. With more commitments, schedules, to-do lists, appointments, voice mails and e-mails, we often experience increased stress and a sense of being overwhelmed. Do you sometimes feel your life is out of balance? Do you sometimes envision your life with less tension, less stress, pressure, and more balance?

If you have ever watched a pendulum you were probably mesmerized by the peaceful, almost melodic, back and forth movement. This rhythm and flow is reflected in our lives and can teach us a great deal about balance and personal growth. Just as a pendulum swings back and forth so do we, as we journey through life. 

A pendulum’s movement teaches and reinforces for us that life is not static. The pendulum is constantly moving from one side to the other. Moving continuously, the rhythm is constant between two opposites.

Life mimics this movement in accordance with a prescribed rhythm. We are constantly moving between opposing emotions and states: in and out, up and down, back and forth, positive and negative, excess and deficiency, high and low, order and chaos, hope and despair, ignorance and understanding.

All things move from side to side. Think of the business cycle. As the economy expands and contracts we move through peaks of prosperity to troughs of economic recession and even depression. Just as the tide is not always high and the moon is not always full, your life follows an orderly cycle as well.

No set of circumstances is forever. When you feel down or things are not working out the way you want, don't feel discouraged. Know that things will swing back up and get better. They always do!

"There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without the measure of darkness and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness." (Carl Jung)

By accepting the highs and lows in your life, and always keeping in mind that things will change, your whole perspective on living will change along with it. When you understand that everything in life follows a constant rhythm between two opposites, you can better appreciate and fully enjoy all the stages in the cycle of life.

Embracing each stage in life allows you to experience personal growth and balance. Here’s how:

• Know your situation will improve and do not dwell on the negative. 
• Choose to learn from every experience you have.
• Understand that failure is part of every success. 
• Accept the good and bad, the highs and lows, and look for the lessons in each and every moment.
• Know there is a time and place for everything.
• When you reach a goal, take time to celebrate, relax and recharge your batteries.
• Know that reaching success is not the end point. Begin to lay the groundwork for the next goal and prepare yourself for more ups and downs
• Allow yourself to get back "in the swing" of things and follow your path of least resistance.

1. Get excited

You have more options and thus more opportunities than ever before. This also means that you will have more choices to make. Take responsibility and get excited about the choices you will make now as they will determine your level of success and personal satisfaction in the future. Conversely, if you feel that you are "making do" or just settling for something, you can expect more of the same and set yourself up for possible failure.

2. Why versus how

One of the main reasons people fail in following through on their resolutions is because they have not developed enough compelling reasons why they should change. Once you are clear about what you want, whether it is a personal goal or business objective, create a strong "emotional awareness" for yourself. This means that you have to go beyond your thoughts and carry it over to your emotions. Fall in love with the process of reaching your goals.

3. Associate with the right people

Look for family, friends or co-workers who believe in you and support you. Seek the assistance from a personal coach who can give you the learning, strategies, motivation and accountability to achieve your goals.

4. Sweat the small stuff

Henry Ford once said that if you break a big job into small parts it will become easy. Ask yourself what activities are necessary each day and every week to move you in the direction of your goals.

5. Choose feedback versus failure

Many people don’t set goals because they are afraid they might fail. Remember that failure is a concept that only exists in your mind. When you don’t get immediate results, you have not failed, but you have only  produced a certain result. So whatever the results are, consider it feedback and not failure. Ask yourself:"What can I learn from the result I produced?" It is within the answer to this question that you will discover new opportunities and learn better ways of creating the results you seek. At all times remain flexible.

6. What you focus on expands

Focus on what reaching your goal will mean to you, your family, friends or colleagues. Create a mental picture in your mind of the new and improved you and let go of the limiting beliefs and thoughts of your current situation. When you focus on what you don’t have (yet) or focus on the voids in your life, you will only get more of it.

7. Teamwork makes the dream work

When you set goals, think how others will benefit as well. Selfish goals have little merit. Success in any endeavor can only be achieved with and through others.

Compelling goals will give you the ability to grow and stay focused in times of social and economic change. Goals will not only pull you in the direction where you want to go, but also influence the activities you get involved in and the people you meet along the way.  You will find that the path you take, the direction you choose is what is most rewarding. It’s not so much what you will get when you reach your destination or achieve your goal, it’s the person you will become when you get there that defines you for yourself and others.

To your success in 2009!

As you enter the New Year, I invite you to take a step back and look at your life as it is today, get a sense of where you are going and where your priorities lie. 

The following ten life coaching questions will help keep you on track moving forward. They will help you to refocus in those moments when you feel uncertain about what you’re doing and why. They will provide guidance, direction and support when you feel that certain events are controlling you.

Some of these powerful questions can produce that ‘breakthrough moment’ when you understand a situation more clearly from a new or different perspective. Other questions invite introspection and will lead to a greater self awareness, more creativity, additional solutions and new insights.

Question # 10: "How am I spending my time?"
How you choose to spend your time is how you spend your life. How can you manage yourself more effectively allowing you to spend more time in those areas that are most important in your life? What choices will you make? [Read More]

Question # 9: "What Would I Do If I Knew I Couldn't Fail?"
The only way to create results in your life is by taking action. Realize that, succeed or fail, you will produce results from which you will learn. Don’t be afraid of failure; be afraid of not taking action! [Read more]

Question # 8: "Who Am I becoming?"
How satisfied are you with the person you are becoming? What kind of person do you see yourself becoming in the New Year? If you want to have more and experience more in life, you have to become more. [Read more]

Question # 7: "What Am I Tolerating?"
What have you been tolerating at work, at home or in your social environment in the past year? What are the things you wish would resolve themselves somehow? Here are some life coaching tips to help you eliminate the things that you no longer want in your life. [Read more]

Question # 6: "Where Do I Focus My Attention?"
Your mind cannot tell the difference between something you think about or focus on that you do want, and the stuff you think about that you don’t want. Your mind is a very effective goal seeking mechanism and seeks to create precisely what you focus on. The key is to direct your focus on the goals and experiences that you do want in your life. [Read more]

Question # 5: "How Am I Using My Talents?
When you talk with people who have achieved a high level of success in their lives, you’ll find that they have found ways to incorporate their passions and talents into their daily activities. They also experience more fulfillment and balance because they intentionally played to their talents. Do you know what your talents are? How do you go about discovering some of your talents or natural abilities? [Read more]

Question # 4: "Who Do I spend My Time With?
The people you spend most of your time with have a strong influence on you. When you are surrounded by negative or angry people, you will absorb some of their negativity or anger. When you spend time with people who inspire you, support you and believe in you, their positive energy will boost your motivation, self-confidence and inner strength.[Read more]

Question # 3: "How Do I Honor My Core Values?"
Your core values express the essence of who you are. Although you may share similar values with others, you have a unique set of values. Many of the important decisions that you make, and the actions you take, are based on the values that you hold. Your values, together with the beliefs that support them, are an energetic driving force and provide meaning and direction in your life.[Read more]

Question # 2: "What Do I Want?"
Think of yourself as the majority shareholder in your life. What are some of the strategic decisions that will help you grow and flourish in the New Year? What will you vote "yes" for in your life? What will you vote "no" for? Choose, decide, take action, and make 2009 your best year ever! [Read more]

Question # 1: "How Am I Committed?"
Why is it that we tell ourselves we want certain things but we don’t take action? We might have the best of intentions to make certain changes in our lives, yet we do not follow through on our resolutions? Does that mean we are lazy or undisciplined? Are we afraid of failure? Are we holding on to limiting beliefs about ourselves? We get frustrated when we think and say we are committed to wanting something for ourselves, but no action follows that voice of commitment. [Read more]

Question # 1: "How Am I Committed?"

Why is it that we tell ourselves we want certain things but we don’t take action? We might have the best of intentions to make certain changes in our lives, yet we do not follow through on our resolutions? Does that mean we are lazy or undisciplined? Are we afraid of failure? Are we holding on to limiting beliefs about ourselves? We get frustrated when we think and say we are committed to wanting something for ourselves, but no action follows that voice of commitment.

When you fully commit to something, action always follows thought. There is no question, no debate, no doubt or struggle. You don’t wonder whether or not you will take action or not. Commitment goes beyond making a choice. I have never met a mother who had to think about and decide whether or not to feed her baby. People gain a mysterious strength and resolve when they make a commitment.

Commitment is a unique personal experience. As a personal coach I can offer you many possible commitment strategies, yet the best personal style of commitment comes from a deep emotional awareness within yourself. Often our commitments are invisible to us and we don’t think about them as commitments, it is what we do naturally. And that’s the whole point.

Recall a time in your life when you were committed to something. You were so deeply committed that there was no doubt in your mind, and taking action was almost automatic and effortless. Take some time to answer the following questions to discover the underlying structure of your own personal commitment strategy.

• When and where were you committed? Was it a commitment you made to yourself or others? Were there any external influences?
  
• What were some of the actions you took?
   
• How did you go about taking action? What was your strategy for taking action?  Did you write down your goal or commitment? Did you visualize your achievements? Did you call a friend or work with a personal life coach? What skills or capabilities did you use?
  
• What were some of the emotional reasons why you were committed? Reflect on the values and beliefs that motivated you to take action and follow through on your commitment.
  
• How did you benefit from taking action? What was the cost of not taking action at all?
  
• How did you think and feel about yourself as a person? Maybe you felt like a successful individual or a compassionate person.
  
• How did your commitment impact others?

Understanding and modeling your personal commitment strategy will help you create resolve to meet your New Year’s resolutions.

To your success in 2009!

Question # 10: "How am I spending my time?"
Question # 9: "What Would I Do If I Knew I Couldn't Fail?"
Question # 8: "Who Am I becoming?"
Question # 7: "What Am I Tolerating?"
Question # 6: "Where Do I Focus My Attention?"
Question # 5: "How Am I Using My Talents?
Question # 4: "Who Do I spend My Time With?
Question # 3: "How Do I Honor My Core Values?"
Question # 2: "What Do I Want?"
Question # 1: "How Am I Committed?"

Question # 2: "What Do I Want?"

The quality of your life's experiences amounts to the sum of all the decisions you have ever made.
The power to make decisions is what gives you freedom. The more freedom you have, the more options you can entertain. The more options you have available, the more opportunities you can create for yourself and others.

Have you ever been told what to believe? Have you ever had someone tell you what you should do, how you should feel or behave? Why would you have someone else decide for you in your life? What is the cost of living that way? Life is short, and time is your most valuable resource. Letting anyone else decide for you is a waste of time! No one else knows you as well as you do. You are the expert of your own life.

Think of yourself as the majority shareholder in your life. What are some of the strategic decisions that will help you grow and flourish in the New Year? What will you vote "yes" for in your life? What will you vote "no" for? Recognizing that you have a choice does not mean that there will never be any uncomfortable consequences. But not making a decision is also a decision which could have consequences that are just as negative.

Peter Drucker once said that whenever you see a successful business, someone once made a courageous decision! In what department of your life's organization - relationships, money, health, fun, recreation, personal growth - do you currently experience the most challenge? Where do you feel trapped?

Whatever you believe is missing, it is yours, waiting to be claimed. The first step is to make a conscious decision about the things you would like to have more of and the things you will need to let go off.

Some people get trapped in inaction. They have a hard time saying yes, because that would mean that they have to close off other possibilities. In economics, this is referred to as the 'opportunity cost'. The same principle is true in life. Saying yes to one thing often means saying no to many other possibilities.

Don't just dwell in possibility. Dwell in reality!

Choose, decide, take action, and make 2009 your best year ever!

"Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it.
Establish your priorities and go to work."  (H.L. Hunt)

Question # 10: "How am I spending my time?"
Question # 9: "What Would I Do If I Knew I Couldn’t Fail?"
Question # 8: "Who Am I becoming?"
Question # 7: "What Am I Tolerating?"
Question # 6: "Where Do I Focus My Attention?"
Question # 5: "How Am I Using My Talents?
Question # 4: "Who Do I spend My Time With?
Question # 3: "How Do I Honor My Core Values?"

Life and carreer coach based in St Louis

Question # 3: "How Do I Honor My Core Values?"

Your core values express the essence of who you are. Although you may share similar values with others, you have a unique set of values. Many of the important decisions that you make, and the actions you take, are based on the values that you hold. Your values, together with the beliefs that support them, are an energetic driving force and provide meaning and direction in your life.

If you commit time and energy to something that violates or neglects one of your core values, you will most likely feel resentful and frustrated. If your values are not respected at your job or in your relationships, you will feel that something is missing.

While it is enormously helpful to know your core values, it is not always easy to identify them.
Often these things are so much a part of who you are, that they become invisible to you.

Create a list for yourself by thinking about the ideas and questions below. Don’t worry about getting it right and capturing all of your values. Your list will be a work in progress. Also, your values don’t have to be a single word; they could be a string of words or sentences or themes. Find the words that work best for you.

Think about the following questions:

• What is important to you?
  
• What do you really care about?
  
• What do you really want in your life?
  
• When do you feel happiest?
  
• Select a time from your life when you felt particular fulfilled. There may have been challenges,but you were still on a roll. It may have been a few minutes, or hours or days. What was important about that experience? What values were you honoring?
  
• What do you react negatively to? What makes you angry or frustrated?
  What value is being violated? What kinds of situations cause you to feel incongruent? When are you not being true to yourself?

For each of us, there are usually values that are so much a part of us that we don’t even think to put them on a list. These are often our most dearly held values. A teacher might fail to include learning; an artist might forget to write down creativity, a business owner might overlook financial success.

Generate a list of values. Next notice which of these in your life you are honoring, which "get lost" or are neglected, and which you sometimes violate through behaviors or choices.

Question # 10: "How am I spending my time?"

Question # 9: "What Would I Do If I Knew I Couldn’t Fail?"

Question # 8: "Who Am I becoming?"

Question # 7: "What Am I Tolerating?"

Question # 6: "Where Do I Focus My Attention?"

Question # 5: "How Am I Using My Talents?

Question # 4: "Who Do I spend My Time With?

Take a moment and write down the unique qualities that define you?
What are the qualities that are at the core of who you are?

Question # 4: "Who Do I Spend My Time With?

The people you spend most of your time with have a strong influence on you. When you are surrounded by negative or angry people, you will absorb some of their negativity or anger. When you spend time with people who inspire you, support you and believe in you, their positive energy will boost your motivation, self-confidence and inner strength. 

Do not underestimate the power of influence of the people you surround yourself with.
Make a mental note of the people in your personal and professional life with whom you most often associate and think of how they are influencing you, both positively and negatively.

Perhaps you've heard the story of the little bird. He had his wing over his eye and he was crying. The owl said to the bird, "You are crying." "Yes," said the little bird, and he pulled his wing away from his eye. "Oh, I see," said the owl. "You're crying because the big bird pecked out your eye." And the little bird said, "No, I'm not crying because the big bird pecked out my eye. I'm crying because I let him."

I believe that the quality of your life is greatly influenced by the quality of your associations and relationships. Be cautious of the people you allow yourself to associate with in your personal life and business.

Choose to surround yourself with people who will move you forward on your journey and let go of the negative influences that impede your progress.

Question # 10: "How am I spending my time?"

Question # 9: "What Would I Do If I Knew I Couldn’t Fail?"

Question # 8: "Who Am I becoming?"

Question # 7: "What Am I Tolerating?"

Question # 6: "Where Do I Focus My Attention?"

Question # 5: "How Am I Using My Talents?

Question # 5: "How Am I Using My Talents?

When you talk with people who have achieved a high level of success in their lives, you’ll find that they have found ways to incorporate their passions and talents into their daily activities. They also experience more fulfillment and balance because they intentionally played to their talents and strengths by developing the know-how and experience through continued focus and practice.

Your talents influence how you think and the way you respond to the situations in your life. Once you fully understand and acknowledge your natural abilities, you will develop a higher self awareness, which will lead to increased self confidence, a healthier self esteem, more success and personal satisfaction.

Talents by themselves are not that special, it is what you decide to do with them that make them special. All too often we deny our own talents, because to acknowledge them would mean we have to use them.

Why is it sometimes difficult to identify our own talents? First, it’s a question we don’t really ask ourselves. Second, our talents feel so natural to us that we tend to take them for granted. Third, we live in a culture where we tend to focus on improving our weaknesses rather than developing our talents into strengths.

Do you know what your talents are? How do you go about discovering some of your talents or natural abilities?

Answer the following questions and start to identify some of the common themes within your answers.

• What are some activities or special interests you enjoyed growing up? What did you enjoy most about those moments and why?
  
• What are some of the skills or abilities you developed over the years? What skills were easy for you to learn or develop?
  
• What are some of your favorite activities or projects that give you the most satisfaction?  At home? At work? What are some activities that whenever you’re doing them, everything just flows because it just feels right.  It comes natural to you and you tend to lose track of time. What are some activities that you genuinely look forward to doing again? (.. .watching American Idol is not one of them!)
  
• What would you enjoy doing even when you’re not getting paid for it?
  
• What do other people regularly ask you to do?
  
• What are some of the qualities that other people think you have?

Once you get a better understanding of your dominant innate talents and abilities, start looking for ways to incorporate them into your daily life. None of us have been dealt the perfect hand, but it is your responsibility and greatest joy to become the best you can with the cards you have been dealt.

Question # 10: "How am I spending my time?"

Question # 9: "What Would I Do If I Knew I Couldn’t Fail?"

Question # 8: "Who Am I becoming?"

Question # 7: "What Am I Tolerating?"

Question # 6: "Where Do I Focus My Attention?"

Question # 6: "Where Do I Focus My Attention?"

Your life becomes what you focus on. Your thought patterns create the texture of your everyday life.
You are always focusing on something. The experiences you create in this very moment, and the next, are based on where your focus lies.

What you see depends on what you look for. What you hear depends on what you listen for and what you feel depends on the experiences you seek. Your expectations, based on what you focus on, blossom into self-fulfilling prophecies.

The results you create are a result of your focus. If you're not getting the results you are looking for, it is time to re-examine what you focus on. If you keep focusing on the same things and keep doing what you’ve always done, sure enough, you’ll keep getting the same results.

Your mind cannot tell the difference between something you think about or focus on that you do want, and the stuff you think about that you don’t want. Your mind is a very effective goal seeking mechanism and seeks to create precisely what you focus on. The key is to direct your focus on the goals and experiences that you do want in your life.

Think of your focus as a sticky boomerang. What you focus on comes back to you, with more strength that it has gathered along the way. If you send out anger, fear, negativity or jealousy, you will invite the same thoughts manifold.

What you focus on expands.

Focus on what is going well in your life right now and what is good for you moving forward. Focus on your innate talents and capabilities. Focus on what you believe is possible and you will see opportunities rather than constraints.

Question # 10: "How am I spending my time?"
Question # 9: "What Would I Do If I Knew I Couldn’t Fail?"
Question # 8: "Who Am I becoming?"
Question # 7: "What Am I Tolerating?"

Question # 7: "What Am I Tolerating?"

What are some of the things you have been putting up with in your life? What have you been tolerating at work, at home or in your social environment in the past year? What are the things you wish would resolve themselves somehow? 

Sometimes tolerations show up as minor inconveniences such as a messy desk, a squeaking door or a friend who always shows up late for appointments. Other tolerations are more serious, such as mental or physical abuse or a controlling or disrespectful boss.

Sometimes it is easier to ignore your 'tolerations' rather than to take the necessary action to clean them up. Allowing 'tolerations' to hang around in your life will drain your energy, try your patience and show up under the form of stress and anxiety. They can chip away at your self-esteem, confidence and enthusiasm.

Here are a few life coaching tips to help with the process:

• Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with. Ask yourself what each is costing you in terms of energy, confidence and enthusiasm?
  
• Resolve to take action. The decision to act on 'tolerations' is very liberating and will improve the quality of your life.
  
• Set target dates and make time in your schedule to overcome your 'tolerations'.
  
• Seek the support from friends, family or a personal coach to keep you focused and stay on track.

Living a life you want not only means choosing the things you want, but also eliminating the things that are hanging around in your life that you no longer want.

Now is the perfect time to do some personal housecleaning, and remove some of the clutter around your house, at work or in your relationships.

When you resolve to stop putting up, you will find a renewed sense of freedom and balance in your life.

Question # 10: "How am I spending my time?"
Question # 9: "What Would I Do If I Knew I Couldn’t Fail?"
Question # 8: "Who Am I becoming?"

Question # 8: "Who Am I becoming?"

How satisfied are you with the person you are becoming? What kind of person do you see yourself becoming in the New Year? Do you see someone who is becoming more stressed out or tired with an unsatisfying job or an unbalanced work/home life, or do you see someone who is enjoying a happy and fulfilling lifestyle? How do you feel about your future self?

"If you want to have more and experience more in life, you have to become more."

What are some of the personal qualities you would like to further develop in the New Year?
Perhaps you would like to become more skillful or competent. More honest, sincere, genuine or congruent.  More compassionate, accepting, forgiving or grateful.  More creative or expressive.  More courageous.  More generous, loving or happy. More responsible.

No matter how you feel about yourself right now, you can make a decision to become more of who you really are. The power to choose lies within your mind and how you think about yourself. You will become what you think about, most of the time.

Your thinking process determines how you feel, the choices you make and the results you create.
If you seek to attract new experiences in your life or you want to make certain changes, you need to begin the process in your mind. Focus on continuous personal development; with books, CD’s, seminars, personal coaching, studying, listening, practicing, and nourishing your mind.

Become the mental architect of your own personal transformation!

Change your mind and change your life in 2009!

Question # 9: "What Would I Do If I Knew I Couldn’t Fail?"
Question # 10: "How am I spending my time?"

Question # 9: "What Would I Do If I Knew I Couldn’t Fail?"

What if failure was not an option? The fear of failure holds us back more than anything else in all our pursuits in life. Many people don’t even set goals because they are often so afraid of failing that they do not even try.

How many opportunities have you missed in the past because you lacked the courage to take a chance, to play full out, all because you were afraid you might fail? How much more pain and lost opportunities are you willing to endure by continuing to allow fear and procrastination to rule your life?

Failure is a concept that only exists in your ego’s mind. If your ego would have a favorite slogan, it would probably be “Playing It Safe.” Your ego operates in the emotional comfort zone of your mind and will do anything in its power to keep you there.  It is that little voice in the back of your head giving you all the reasons why you shouldn’t do this or try that …

The only way to create results in your life is by taking action. Realize that, succeed or fail, you will produce results from which you will learn.

Don’t be afraid of failure; be afraid of not taking action!

Question # 10: "How am I spending my time?"

Question # 10: "How am I spending my time?"

We all have 24 hours each day. We cannot manage ‘time’, yet we can choose how we manage ourselves with the time we have. Time is your most valuable resource. You only have a limited supply.

What is your present relationship with time? Does it give you the satisfaction and fulfillment you seek?  Do you feel there are never enough hours in the day to achieve what you want? Do you sometimes feel that others are managing your time?

How you choose to spend your time is how you spend your life.

The way you spend your time tells you much about your priorities and what you value in life.
Do you know what your core values and priorities are? Have you decided what the top ten things are that you want to spend your time on in the New Year?

"If you want to make good use of your time, you've got to know what's most important and then give it all you've got."  (Lee Iacocca)

Take some time to reflect on the larger areas in your life, such as your work/career, health, relationships, finances, personal growth, fun and recreation.

How can you manage yourself more effectively allowing you to spend more time in those areas that are most important in your life? What choices will you make? What will you say 'no' to in order to gain more balance and experience more fulfillment in life?

If you choose to live a more balanced life, you must redefine your relationship with time, to shift the emphasis from quantity to quality, from frustration to fulfillment, from lack to abundance, from pressure to peace.

Managing your time is a choice!

It’s that time of year when many of us formulate our resolutions for the coming year. Whether it is getting in shape, reducing debt, finding a better job, finding our soul mate, we all vow to become and do better in the future. 

But how come so many of us fail to keep our well-intended New Year’s resolutions?

Most goal setting seminars teach you that the first thing you have to do is become absolutely clear about what it is you want, create a plan and work the plan. While these are important steps moving forward, why is it that within 30 days, most resolutions will be no more than a vague memory?

We get discouraged when results don’t come quickly enough or we find that we are not necessarily happier because of them. The main reason however is because we do not fully understand ourselves and we haven’t learned how to manage ourselves more effectively.

Before setting any personal, business or career goals, it’s important to get a better understanding of yourself, because unless you take control of all the stuff inside of you that is running your life, nothing you do or say on January 1st will help you get or achieve what you really want.

When you look at your life - from the inside out - as something you are creating, rather than having external circumstances or others create it for you, you can take full responsibility for your own life's experiences.

In order to follow through and successfully achieve your New Years resolutions, your goals must be aligned or congruent with your core values and beliefs; the stuff that matters most in your life. Without these things, you would not be the person you are today.

Values are basically ideals and principles that are important to you. They are usually expressed in abstract terms such as respect, freedom, love, justice, health, integrity, success and so forth. Beliefs on the other hand are essentially assumptions, agreements or judgments you have made (mostly subconsciously) about yourself, others and the world you live in. Limiting beliefs will hold you back, while empowering or positive beliefs move you forward. Often your values and beliefs are so much a part of who you are that they become invisible to you and difficult to identify.

Values and beliefs provide the foundation upon which your level of personal commitment, motivation perseverance and courage is built. If you build your goals or New Years resolutions upon a weak foundation, or you have cracks in the foundation, such as conflicting values or limiting beliefs, it will be difficult to overcome challenges and personal setbacks in pursuit of your goals.

Ultimately, the successful achievement of your goals will be a tangible expression of your core values and beliefs. 

At a deeper level, what you value the most and believe gives you a sense of who you are – a sense of self worth. It is from this unique point of self reference that you see and perceive the world around you. Most people live their lives consistent with their self image and will do almost anything to operate within the boundaries they have created. 

Every positive act of change in your life is fostered by a change in self-perception. This means that what is standing between you and your goals and dreams, are not circumstances – like the state of the economy – but the assumptions you have made about yourself.

Know Thyself!

Whether you want to lose weight, get out of debt, improve your sales, get organized, enjoy life more, spend more quality time with your family, start a business, or build a new career, identifying and clarifying your core values and inner beliefs is an important and necessary step toward personal achievement, fulfillment and success.

For more information on how to easily identify and strengthen your core beliefs and values, set and follow through on your 2009 resolutions, contact me or schedule an introduction life coaching session today.

"Each decision we make, each action we take, is born out of an intention."
(Sharon Salzberg)

With the New Year getting closer, what choices will you make that will affect the direction of your life? In which area(s) of your life did you experience the most challenge in the past year? -relationships, money, health, personal growth or your career? 

Whatever you believe was missing in 2008, it is yours, waiting to be claimed in 2009!

The first step is to make a conscious choice about the things you would like to attract, create or change and the things you would like to let go off.  Consider all of your relationships, ways of being, beliefs, goals, attitudes, behaviors, perceptions, habits, and even material things. Identify the things in your life that are draining you, as well as the things that are nourishing you.

When we don't challenge ourselves to create or to grow, we get stuck in the present and feel anxious about the future. When we don't make a conscious choice, the past creates the future. That is also a choice!

When you set goals for 2009, the choice of intention is the most fundamental choice you will make. The experiences you attract into your life are determined more by your intentions than your actions.

One person may donate money to a foundation in order to obtain a tax deduction, while another may do so to further help the cause of that foundation. Their actions are the same, while their intentions are quite different.

Let's assume that your goal is to change careers. Possible intentions for this goal could be to make more money, to feel less stress, to make more time for your family or to use more of your creative talents.

It is the conscious decision of your intention that will determine the experiences you have, the results you create and the people you attract into your life. When your intentions are aligned with your core values and principles, you will experience more joy, success, balance and fulfillment in pursuit of your goals!

Take some time to reflect on the outcomes you would like to create for this upcoming year and feel what your real intention is for each of them.

Setting your intent is about directing your focus in the present moment toward a future outcome. Because of the constantly changing environment of your life, setting your intent is an ever renewing process.

Set your intentions deliberately and carefully! To your success in 2009!

During my life coaching conversations, I often hear people say:” I can't wait to get motivated” or “I need someone or something to motivate me.” These statements imply that motivation comes to us from sources outside ourselves.  As in, we are motivated by money, competition, market trends, what other people say and do, the media, etc…

If you buy into this concept of external motivation, you will be plagued with fleeting success.  The level of accomplishment and personal fulfillment you achieve through external sources of motivation is short lived and unsustainable. When things outside of yourself motivate you, you will find yourself continuously reacting to circumstances over which you have little or no control. 

This reactivity takes all the creative energy out of you.  Energy that you could be using to pursue the goals that really matter:  the ones that are motivated by forces deep within yourself.

True and lasting motivation comes from within.  Its champion is your inner voice.  That omnipotent presence that knows you better than you know yourself.  If you look inside yourself, you will find the key to what really motivates you to be the best person you can be, and to live the life you dream of living. 

Motivation from within is inspirational and enduring.  Because it is based on your core values and beliefs, it provides the basis from which to persevere no matter what.  When the assignment at work seems unending, when you feel you have nothing left to learn, when everyone around you is filled with negativity, your inner source of motivation will guide you along the right path. 

"It is a terrible thing to see and have no vision." (Helen Keller)

Key to knowing the right direction to take is a strong and vibrant vision.  In order to get inspired and feel passionate for what you do each and every day, requires having an idea of where you are going.  A clear vision brings with it an inspired perspective that is able to see future possibilities. In fact, the size of your vision determines the size of every aspect in your life.

Just as a business cannot grow larger than the vision of its leaders, neither can you develop yourself beyond the limits you set.  A strong inner voice is what will spearhead your efforts as you work toward a clear and definite vision of yourself in the future.

To develop a powerful inner voice and build your internal motivation you can:

• Clearly define your core values – the stuff that’s really important to you.
  
• Identify the beliefs you hold about yourself. Are those beliefs empowering you or are they holding you back in pursuit of your vision?
  
• Use your values and beliefs to guide your daily decisions.
  
• Develop a robust vision of what you want to accomplish in each area of your life. (career, relationships, health, family and friends, ...)
  
• Decide to make daily steps toward your vision.
  
• When faced with a lack of motivation, look inside yourself to find the lift you need.
  
• Resist the temptation to let external rewards or circumstances influence your decisions.

When it comes to doing the things that will bring you closer to your intended vision for yourself, you can listen to all of the voices around you, or you can listen to the voice inside. Life is a constant balancing act between these voices. The voice you hear is the voice you listen for.

When you listen with your heart, you will find that your inner voice speaks the loudest.

Get inspired! To your success.

In the spring of 1954, Roger Bannister became the first athlete to run a mile in under 4 minutes. Three minutes and 59.4 seconds to be exact. Before he did this, breaking a four-minute mile had been considered impossible – completely beyond the physical limits of the human body.

Was he successful because he possessed superhuman ability?  No, he was successful because he was a believer. Roger Bannister chose to set aside the widely accepted belief that it wasn’t possible. He saw himself running a mile in under four minutes.  He rehearsed the race in his mind’s eye until he truly believed that he could do it. He believed that he really could break the four-minute mile. The rest is history!

And Roger’s belief set off an even more interesting dynamic. Within seven months of setting the new record, thirty-seven others followed him.  Within the following three years, another 300 athletes ran the mile in under 4 minutes.

What was thought impossible was now in the realm of completely achievable.  But what happened to those other runners who ran before Roger?  Did their lack of belief limit them and cause them to pass-up on an incredible opportunity? 

Are you letting a limited belief of what you can do and accomplish, stop you from reaching your goals and dreams?

When you believe you can’t do something, you are right – and you won’t.  When you believe it is possible, you will awake dormant resources within yourself and find the opportunities and circumstances that help make it a reality. You also influence everyone around you – your belief and positive attitude  will set off an infectious chain of accomplishment.

In his diary Roger Bannister wrote:

"I tried to establish this “now or never” attitude because I knew that unless I was successful in attaining this attitude, I would perhaps lose my chance by letting myself fall prey to the mental reaction so common to athletes — that is, that there would always be a next time of deciding, perhaps, that this is not the day.”

Follow these 4 steps  for breaking through your own personal barriers:

1. Decide that today is the day
2. Believe that your goal is possible for you to achieve
3. Get resourceful
4. Take action

To be successful you need to decide that today is the day.  Today you will believe in your ability, you will take on a can-do attitude, and you will set in motion the actions you need to accomplish your dreams. 

To your success!