As a personal life coach I work with many creative, intelligent, skilled, and passionate people who, despite having clearly defined goals, are not achieving the success of which they are truly capable. It’s not that they fear failure; it’s not that they don’t have the know-how. It’s because they unconsciously find a way to sabotage themselves. They don’t allow themselves to succeed. Unable to give themselves permission to value themselves, they cannot achieve the success they deserve.

One of my life coaching clients, a young and vibrant entrepreneur in his mid-thirties, started coaching with me because he wanted to take his business to the next level. He told me that for the last couple of years his business had remained stagnant and he felt himself procrastinating to make decisions needed to grow his business. I asked him what would stop a smart and creative young man from achieving the success he really wanted. “I don’t know,” he replied. “But sometimes I feel that achieving success means that I’m selfish, and I feel really guilty about that.” When I inquired more about his feeling of guilt, he mentioned that a voice in his head kept telling him that he should just be happy with where he was, that he didn’t need any more than what he had already.

I think we all have such voices talking to us. Like bullies, they try to intimidate us and keep us from achieving the success we want. They tell us that if we want too much for ourselves we’re self-centered or selfish, or that one day others will find out that we’re not that good, or that success is for others but not us. When we listen to these voices, and it’s hard not to, things can get pretty dark inside our heads. In personal coaching we sometimes refer to these little voices that hold us back as our “gremlins.” Recognizing these little creatures for what they are is a first step toward taming them. A playful, yet effective way we can deal with them is to personify our gremlin by giving it a name, some characteristics, and perhaps a personality.

I’ve always had this little voice—this little gremlin—in my head that I call Peter Perfect. He is a smart and witty creature who always tells me that unless I can do something perfectly, I shouldn’t do it. But instead of hoping that one day he would go away, I have come to understand that in recognizing Peter Perfect for what he is, I diminish his power to run my life and hold me back.

In order to succeed in life you must first give yourself permission to succeed. This means you have to develop a positive inner dialogue that is congruent with your true intentions. To determine whether your inner thoughts are supporting or limiting you, you want to ask yourself, “Would I say the same words to a friend, a family member, or colleague who needs my support?”

101Ways to Reduce Stress This new e-book is intended to create an awareness of stress on physical and mental health and provide you with ready to use tools and strategies to cope more efficiently with the stresses in your life.  To exist in today’s pressure cooker world, and deal with constant change, take the challenge to liberate yourself and manage your personal stress.

Stress affects us all at one point or another, however, once it becomes a regular and uncontrollable part of your life, it should be considered serious. But what if you are “stressed out” and don’t realize it?

As a personal life coach and career consultant, I observe the symptoms often. Signs of increased stress levels can vary from insomnia, depression, anger, aches and pains and high blood pressure. These are only a few ways excess stress affects the body and mind. Alcohol, drug problems, heart attack and stroke, can occur if high stress levels are ignored.

You owe it to yourself and your loved ones to learn what self-help techniques are available to get your life back on track.

There are plenty of stress reducing self-help tips, strategies and techniques to choose from in my e-book. They are economical, easy to use and have tremendous potential to reduce the stress in your life. You can read a few tips before you start your day, or keep them at your bedside and implant them in your mind before retiring at night.  Implement the tips, thoughts and life coaching strategies that pertain to your situation when the opportunity arises, or create your own opportunity to reduce the stresses in your life.

Living in a world without any stress at all would be very dull.  Once you understand your own stress patterns and have learned ways to manage them, your health and disposition will improve.

Get your copy at 101 Ways To Reduce Stress

Life coaching? As if your life needs a coach? 
I would be the first to admit that the term life coach is a pretty loaded term that might even sound a bit spacious and pretentious to some.  Perhaps personal development coaching is a better term for what life coaching or personal coaching is all about. Increasingly people everywhere are starting to re-evaluate their life's direction and purpose.  People not only want a deeper sense of fulfillment, they also want to feel significant and regain control over their lives.

Most often people seek to work with a personal life coach because they would like to change, achieve or create something in their personal lives or careers. From the outside looking in they might appear to have it all together, yet they feel something is missing. They feel they can do better or achieve more. They come to life coaching because they feel they deserve to invest in themselves, without feeling that there is something wrong with them.

Some life coaching clients want a more rewarding relationship, develop a healthier lifestyle, a more exciting career, while others want more business success or seek a renewed new sense of fulfillment, balance or purpose in their lives. Others seek the guidance from a professional coach to navigate change during turbulent times or when faced with adversity.

Life coaching creates a relationship to support people in managing themselves more effectively and helps them achieve a higher level of personal and career success.  Professional coaching provides the structure, support, feedback, learning and accountability to help people realize their personal potential.

Every coach has his or her own personal style. I use a synthesis of different strategies adopted from current professional coaching models - The Inner Game, G.R.O.W., Co-Active Coaching, Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Positive Psychology - together with insights from business and philosophy.

My intention and goal as a professional life coach is to

• provide you with the tools and strategies to create the results you want
   
• challenge and motivate you to take action toward your goals
  
• improve your critical thinking ability to enhance your decision making skills
  
• provide feedback, support and accountability
  
• help your overcome mental barriers and self-limiting beliefs
  
• improve your self confidence and authentic sense of self
  
• create a compelling vision for your future with clear action steps

The best way to understand the true value and potential benefits of life coaching is to experience it personally. Until you've had the experience of coaching, it will remain a concept in your mind. You can schedule a free 45 minute coaching introduction at www.dieterpauwels.com All life coaching services are available in person or over the phone.

Working with a lifecoach is the most powerful tool when people are committed to personal development and self improvement. Coaching is a means to an end, helping people lead more satisfying and happier lives.

In 1937, during the Great Depression, Napoleon Hill wrote “Think and Grow Rich” – one of the best books ever written on the subject of personal development and success. Napoleon Hill has inspired millions of people and has been a major influence in the work of today’s biggest motivational speakers and coaches, including Steven Covey and Anthony Robbins.

In his book, Napoleon Hill discusses eleven traits of successful leaders. Not only are these leadership characteristics essential in any professional leadership role, more importantly, they can serve you as great points of reference in your personal life. You are the leader of your own life. You shape your destiny based on the choices and decisions you make each and every day.

Keep this list in mind as you navigate through your own life’s journey. These cornerstone qualities will heighten your awareness and encourage you to assume full responsibility for your life and become the leader you were meant to be.

Life Coaching Questions:

As you read through the list below, ask yourself the following questions:

• Which leadership qualities am I consciously expressing in my daily life?
  
• What personal qualities are not in alignment with my current lifestyle?
  
• What leadership traits are currently not being expressed in my life? What is preventing me from integrating them into my life? How can I become a better steward of my own life?
  
• What am I committed to? What choices will I make?

Here are the eleven leadership traits as discussed by Napoleon Hill.

1. Unwavering courage

2. Self control

3. A keen sense of justice

4. Definiteness of decision

5. Definiteness of plans

6. Doing more than one is paid for

7. A pleasing personality

8. Sympathy and understanding

9. Mastery of detail

10. Willingness to assume full responsibility

11. Cooperation

Negative emotions such as fear, stress, anxiety, guilt, or resentment burn your will power and drain your energy more and faster than anything else in your life.

Emotions are labels we put on ourselves to describe a very personal physical experience. They arise from personal judgment, low self-esteem or a lack of trust in your own capabilities. These labels confine you to an imaginary box and inhibit your innate ability to learn, grow and expand.

Seek truth in your body

When you experience anxiety, fear, stress or worry, be aware that these emotional states are logical and intuitive responses to uncertainty. However, prolonged exposure to these negative emotional states can affect your self esteem and erode your self confidence.

Pay attention to your emotions. Allow yourself to feel your stress, anxiety or fear instead of avoiding, rationalizing or judging it. How do you experience stress? How does fear express itself in your body? How does anxiety feel? How does worry move through your body?

Once you acknowledge and become fully present with your emotions, you can start to take control of your own feelings, instead of having them run your life. There is tremendous personal power in facing what feels uncomfortable at first.

In his bestselling book, “The Power of Now”, Eckhart Tolle wrote that “If you keep your attention in the body as much as possible, you will be anchored in the Now. You won’t lose yourself in the external world, and you won’t lose yourself in your mind.”

We don’t typically consider the possibility that our emotional experience is there to teach us something. When you allow yourself to feel what you’re really feeling and listen to the truth in your body, you will gain remarkable insights into who you are and the emotional needs you have been avoiding or ignoring.

Frequently returning negative emotions give you an opportunity to become more aware of what’s really going on in your life.

Start moving

Energy in motion creates emotion. The energy needed to move forward and fully engage in the process of your life comes from your emotional state. Moving will not only discharge some of your anxious energy but it will change your emotional state. You will feel like you are doing something and moving forward.

Take action

Create a list of 5 things you can do or steps you can take to make your lifestyle congruent with that what you really want and need in your life. Each step will help to further dissolve the negative emotion bit by bit, bringing hope and empowering you to continue to take action toward meeting your challenge.

We live in a world with tremendous possibilities, endless opportunities and more choices than during any other time in history.

With the choices and freedoms we enjoy, come a variety of challenges. The choices we make are not always positive. In fact, some of them can be self-destructive.

Choices bring with them increased responsibilities, challenges and changes. In the face of the myriad of options we have, our challenge is to make decisions that will advance ourselves, our communities, and our world.

Change and challenge often combined leave us in dynamic, fast paced and complex situations that we are not always prepared to deal with. Change, and the challenge of dealing with it, creates anxiety, discomfort and a feeling of uncertainty among many of us.

Dieter Pauwels is a life career coach, speaker and author based in St. Louis, MO.
He facilitates personal and organizational transformation and works with both individuals and teams to create new possibilities, navigate change and maximize their productivity and personal effectiveness. 

If you're like me, and most other people, there are things in your life that you wish were different and would like to change for the better. Although you may have had the best intentions to change in the past, for some reason you have not been able to successfully achieve the results you want.

Perhaps you have wanted to kick a bad habit. Or you feel you deserve a raise or promotion at work, yet something is preventing you from asking for it. Alternatively, you find yourself in a relationship that is no longer fulfilling. Maybe you have wanted to lose weight, and have tried all the miracle diets, or joined a local health club, but never shed those extra pounds.

What could prevent you from making the changes you desire?

1. Positive side effects 

Sometimes you may try to create change in your life, but you are not consciously aware of the positive benefits or side effects that you are getting from your current situation.

Some people who label themselves as depressed, stay depressed, because of the extra emotional attention they are receiving from family and friends. The desire for attention, or the need for significance, becomes a strong enough motivator for them to stay depressed.

Think about the positive benefits of the situation you would like to change. What are some of the emotional, mental or physical positive side effects of your current situation? How important are these benefits to you? How could you maintain the same positive side effect by making the change you desire?

2. Inner conflict

Sometimes you may resist the change you think you want, because of an inner conflict between the values you hold.
 
Values are basically ideals that are important to you in your life. They are usually expressed in abstract terms such as success, respect, freedom, health, love, loyalty, honesty, integrity and so forth.
 
Let's assume that you want to get a promotion at work but never asked for it.
 
Now imagine for a moment that you actually did receive the promotion you wanted. What would getting a promotion mean to you? More money? And how important would that be compared to some other values that you hold? 
 
If a promotion means a better paycheck, but it also means more time away from your family, this may create inner conflict which will likely cause you to resist moving forward. What you resist will persist!

3. Self-limiting beliefs and thoughts
 

Another reason why you might resist change is because t you’re holding on to limiting or outdated beliefs that prevent you from moving forward and getting the results you really want.
 
Think about the change you want to make …
 
How confident are you that reaching your goal or outcome is possible for you? Do you believe that you have what it takes to make that change? In other words, do you believe that you are truly capable of getting what you want? Do you believe you are deserving of the change you want?

Now, again imagine that you already successfully achieved your outcome. How would this new situation affect you and the people around you? And, would that be okay? 
 
By exploring some of the questions above, you may discover some limiting beliefs you hold about yourself or the situation you want to change. 

It is only when you become consciously aware of the internal barriers - positive side effects, conflicting values or limiting beliefs - that you will be able to make a full personal commitment to the process of change.

Remember the last time you were at a networking event or a reception and you were introduced to someone, yet within a few minutes after the introduction you could not remember her name? Or you were having dinner and someone you met before walked into the restaurant, but you could not recall his name? Does that sound familiar? What did you do?

1. Focus

The neurological pathway in the brain that is used to process your internal dialogue is the same pathway used for selective listening. Have you ever attended a presentation but you were so caught up with other thoughts that you didn’t hear a word that was being said?

Focus your attention fully on the other person while they’re saying their name. Look the person in the eyes for a few seconds while shaking their hand firmly.

2. Listen and repeat

Listen attentively to the person saying their name and repeat their name back to them. If you’re not sure how to spell the name, ask them to spell it out for you. Rest assured, people love to say their name!

3. Visualize

Pick your favorite color (mine is blue), and imagine writing their name in big bright letters on their forehead.  Keep this image in your mind anywhere between 5 and 10 seconds. Make sure you don’t use small letters as they are harder to read and remember.

While seeing the name clearly printed on their forehead, repeat the name to yourself silently a couple of times. It also helps to use the same voice qualities of the person, and it makes it more fun.

4. Write it

The final step is to write the person’s name on your hip or in the air. I recommend you keep your hand movements fairly small …

Dieter Pauwels is a career life coach, speaker and author based in St. Louis, MO.
He facilitates personal and organizational transformation and works with both individuals and teams to create new possibilities, navigate change and maximize their productivity and personal effectiveness. 

"Each human being has been granted a virtue: The capacity to choose. For he who does not use his virtue, it becomes a curse – and others will always choose for him." 
– Paulo Coelho

Personal boundaries define your personal preferences; they outline what is acceptable to you and what is not, based on your values, your beliefs and personal philosophy. They define how you allow others to treat you. 

Your capacity and freedom to choose allows you to define healthy personal boundaries.

The main purpose of setting boundaries is to protect, respect and take care of yourself. Unless you are able to recognize and honestly communicate your personal boundaries, you’ll never be able to respect and truly love yourself and get in touch with who you really are.

Establishing boundaries in your personal and professional life is an important step in taking full responsibility for yourself and taking ownership of your daily choices. Without a clear understanding of who you are and what makes you unique, it is difficult to create healthy emotional boundaries. Healthy boundaries come from a good sense of self-worth, which promotes high self esteem and self confidence. 

When your sense of self-worth is dependent on your relationships, your work or career, you’re giving away your personal power. You’re setting yourself up to be a victim of circumstances over which you have little or no control. You’ll become reactive to negative events in your life and you feel as if you have no choice in the matter.

When you are not clear about your personal boundaries, or you have established weak boundaries, you invite others to take control of your choices, and thus your life.

Have you ever felt trapped in a relationship, a career or a job? Did you feel resentful, frustrated, angry or perhaps victimized? Did you blame your boss, your spouse, or perhaps the state of the economy?

When you feel that you don’t have a choice, you’ll find yourself doing things you don’t want to, or doing things that you feel you should or must do.

Next time you hear yourself saying words like "I have to", "I must", or "I need to", remember that you always had and have a choice. Change the words "I must" or "I have to" and replace them with "I choose to", and notice your reaction and emotional response.

Recognizing and accepting that you do have choices is the first step to consciously setting healthy boundaries. This process takes time, genuine intention and courage.

Your heightened awareness will empower you to choose in every situation. You will choose to say YES to those things in your life that make you feel more alive, and say NO to those things and people that continue to drain your energy. The choice is yours.

Dieter Pauwels is a professional certified life and career coach based in St. Louis, MO. As a coach, speaker and author, he facilitates personal and organizational transformation. He works with both individuals and teams to create new possibilities, manage change and maximize their productivity and personal effectiveness.
You can visit his life and business coaching website at or read his comments and thoughts on the impact of coaching on life and business on this blog.

What can the metamorphosis of a caterpillar into a butterfly teach us about personal development, emotional boundaries, change and creating new possibilities? 

Consider the following.

Every caterpillar has a specific destiny - to become a butterfly.

Though it has no choice in the matter – it will always be a butterfly! – It must nonetheless eat to gain strength and size to reach its potential as a beautiful winged creature.

That you have a free will and so many choices, of course, only heightens your responsibility to find your true vocation in life.

Viktor Frankl, the Austrian psychiatrist who survived the horror of the Nazi death camps during World War II, wrote in his book Man’s Search for Meaning, that life charges each of us to carry out a specific mission. This particular task is ours alone, for our lives can neither be replaced, nor repeated.

"There are two great days in a person's life -
the day we are born and the day we discover why." (W. Barcley)

You cannot become a butterfly by remaining a caterpillar.

At first, a caterpillar protects itself from the outside world, wrapped inside a chrysalis. It then grows and strengthens itself until the day it is ready to emerge as a whole new being.

Just like a caterpillar, you want to give yourself permission to seek a safe space at times to cherish, rejuvenate, reflect, strengthen - and sometimes heal - yourself for your continued journey toward freedom, success, happiness and fulfillment. 

Yet, you cannot become what you want by remaining what you are. Whatever you choose to become, you must be prepared to break out of the cocoon of self-limiting beliefs, past hurts, regrets and fears that hold you back, and do the work required – whatever the risks.
Because for things to change in your life, you have to change!

"You must take personal responsibility.
You cannot change the circumstances,
the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself.
That is something you have charge of." (Jim Rohn)

Once a butterfly, you can never go back to being a caterpillar.

Once you break out of your limiting and self-imposed cocoon, you will create new insights, new possibilities for growth – and even more change.

Welcome change as an opportunity to grow and to become more of who you really are.

About Dieter Pauwels:

Dieter Pauwels is a professional personal  life coach, business and career coach, speaker and author, facilitating personal and organizational transformation. He works with both individuals and teams to create new possibilities, manage change and maximize their productivity and personal effectiveness.
You can visit his life coaching and business coaching website at or read his comments and thoughts on the impact of coaching on life and business coaching blog.

When people talk and think about the word 'potential', all too often they refer to one's unique capabilities, talents and strengths. I believe this offers a limited perspective, because true potential can only be fostered at the level of identity, your own special way of being in this world.  

About Dieter Pauwels:

Dieter Pauwels is a professional certified life, business and career coach, speaker and author, facilitating personal and organizational transformation. He works with both individuals and teams to create new possibilities, manage change and maximize their productivity and personal effectiveness.

You can visit his life and business coaching website at or read his comments and thoughts on the impact of coaching on life and business on this blog.

You have probably heard the saying that if you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten; meaning you’ll keep creating the same results over and over again. Sounds logical, doesn’t it?

What road are you currently traveling on? Are you heading in the right direction? How do you know?  Explorers use a compass to guide them. We have all been blessed with an inner compass to guide us on our journey through life as well.

Your inner compass is your life’s purpose. It is calibrated by your core values and principles and the beliefs that support them. You cannot always predict what the road ahead will look like, but when you trust your inner compass you will always stay 'on course.'

Like a compass, your unique purpose is a strong source of guidance in times of adversity and challenge. When you come to a crossroad in your life, feel temporarily lost or sidetracked, you can always find your 'true north' when you are willing and able to trust your inner compass.

The purpose that guides you is that special something inside, that gives your life meaning and direction. It inspires you, excites you, and makes you feel most alive. When you embrace your purpose, you uncover your passion.  You become aware of the burning desire that smolders deep within you.

Your purpose shows you what you should do; your passion ignites the spark within you and creates the energy you need to pursue it. 

Living a life of purpose and passion is one of great joy. Because your purpose resonates within you at such a deep emotional level, it is your responsibility and your greatest joy to discover it, live it and fulfill it. When you do, you find a life filled with energy and vibrancy. 

William Barcley once said, "There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why."

The most compelling reason to find your purpose and passion in life is so you can integrate them with the work you do.  So many people are disenchanted with their jobs, yet work encompasses about 60% of our active life. If you find a way to combine your purpose and passion with your career, you will reap boundless rewards in terms of personal and professional satisfaction, fulfillment, and productiveness.

When you are passionate about what you do, you have an advantage that is nearly impossible to overcome. Passion is what makes things possible which would otherwise be considered impossible. Living your life on purpose gives you clarity of vision, even when fog sets in. The combination of the two is what enables you to face adversity and not let obstacles and challenges sway you from your course.

Living on purpose and with passion demands constant reflection about the choices you make along the road.  You should continuously ask yourself if what you are doing is what you truly want to be doing. These questions will get you started:

• What is your purpose in life? What were you put on earth to accomplish?
  
• What are you passionate about?  What one thing gets you out of bed even on the dreariest of mornings?
  
• How does your career choice reflect your life’s purpose? If it doesn’t, what can you do to remedy the situation?
  
• What in your work life are you passionate about?  If you aren’t passionate about anything at work, why are you there?
  
• How do you fulfill your purpose and passion during non-working hours? Are there ways to integrate these activities into your work?  Can you think of a way to earn a living while pursing the things that make you the happiest?

Somewhere within you is an inner purpose, a burning desire and a passion ready to be ignited! Listen to your inner voice for clues to those things that make you feel most alive, and pursue them passionately. When you find your purpose, you will unleash the immense potential within you that will take you to unimagined heights on your life's journey! Enjoy the road ahead ... on purpose!

About Dieter Pauwels:

Dieter Pauwels is a professional certified life, business and career coach, speaker and author, facilitating personal and organizational transformation. He works with both individuals and teams to create new possibilities, manage change and maximize their productivity and personal effectiveness.

You can visit his life and business coaching website at or read his comments and thoughts on the impact of coaching on life and business on this blog.
 

Below is an interesting article I found on how to avoid procrastination.

You can read the entire article at the PsyBlog at http://www.spring.org.uk/2009/01/how-to-avoid-procrastination-think.php

Throughout your life’s experiences, you accumulate assumptions, accomplishments, habits, failures, judgments, opinions, beliefs and values. You have learned to define your sense of self based on these collected experiences, judgments, opinions and beliefs. They become the filter through which you see the world and determine how you experience your life. They also become the fabric of your perceived identity. When something threatens your sense of self, you adopt fear as a natural defense mechanism.

Fear is an emotional reaction to a projected and perceived loss or a change in the image your hold about yourself.  Your fears are a direct reflection of your most dominant thoughts, feelings and emotions that you associate with a future event.

The more you identify  - who you are - with, for example a job, a relationship, or making a certain amount of money, the more likely you will experience fear, anxiety and the need to control when circumstances change.

Other self sabotaging behaviors in the face of fear include procrastination, lack of focus, anger or resentment and pleasing others.

Free yourself from fear!
 
1) Identify the things you fear the most.

I’m afraid that …
I’m afraid to ….
I feel scared when …

2) Discover the underlying core fear.

Core human fears include commitment, responsibility, change, loss, confrontation, not measuring up and rejection.

What does your most dominant fear tell you about yourself and how you view and perceive the world around you? Identify any erroneous or limiting beliefs or assumptions about yourself. Listen to what you’re telling yourself, what’s your inner critic telling you?

3) Ask yourself :"Who would I be without that fear?"

During a life coaching conversation, a coaching client expressed her fear of getting hurt again in personal relationships. I asked her the following question: “Who would you be without that fear?"

She responded, "A more confident person who is open to new possibilities and willing to take chances."
Next I asked her, "What would be the opposite of the fear of being hurt?"
She responded: "The freedom to love and be loved."
"And isn't that what you really want?" I asked.

4) Focus on what you truly want.

The moment you focus on what you really want, instead of what you don't want, your mental energy is free to move you forward.  You no longer have to waste any resources thinking about the stuff you no longer want in your life. 

Some inner resources you want to draw on to create the results you desire, and free yourself from fear include self confidence, trust, commitment, creativity, flexibility, honesty, and patience and love. 

5) Adopt empowering beliefs that support what you really want.

In order to access these resources however, requires new and empowering beliefs.  Your beliefs should be positive and supportive of the changes you want to make, or the things you want to achieve.

When you change your beliefs, you change your expectations. When your expectations change, your attitude and consequent behavior changes!

"Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of every fear is a freedom."  
(Marilyn Ferguson)

Here are some techniques to use to help you shift your focus to supportive and positive beliefs: 

• Think of someone who could be a mentor to you. This person could be a friend, a parent, a spiritual leader, an author, co-worker, or anyone else who represents those inner resources and qualities that you seek.
  
• Ask yourself what this person believes. Then ask them directly what their beliefs are that help them to be successful. Give yourself the advice you think he or she would give you regarding your fears and limiting beliefs.

Realize that there is a causal relationship between the beliefs you hold about reality and the real events that just "seem" to happen to you.  You live your beliefs and therefore you seek the evidence to support them!

Ultimately, you are responsible for the changes you make in your life. The good news is that you already have the inner qualities and resources you need to make the changes you want. Accessing them requires confronting your fears, challenging your self-limiting beliefs, and then shifting your focus to move forward.  Once the choice to move forward opens up to you, seize the opportunity and choose freedom over fear!

About Dieter Pauwels:

Dieter Pauwels is a professional certified life, business and career coach, speaker and author, facilitating personal and organizational transformation. He works with both individuals and teams to create new possibilities, manage change and maximize their productivity and personal effectiveness.

You can visit his website at www.dieterpauwels.com or read his comments and thoughts on the impact of coaching on life and business on his blog at http://lifecoaching.dieterpauwels.com
 

Energy in motion creates emotion. The energy needed to move forward and fully engage in the process of your life comes from your emotional state. People who successfully manage their emotional state are masters of their own destiny! Unless you manage your fear, it will manifest itself as a negative emotion.  When this happens, fear blocks the energy you need to follow through on your goals, and create positive changes in your life. If you turn your fear around, however, you can use this "fear factor" as a powerful motivator to break through mental barriers.

When you allow fear to control your life, it creates strong emotional and physical reactions. Fear is what is behind comments like, I choked, I froze, or I felt paralyzed.  The reason you choke, freeze, or feel paralyzed in the face of fear, is because you get stuck in a single and limited perspective about the meaning of the fear that controls you.

Identify Self Limiting Beliefs 

Once you have identified the fear that has the most control over you, you then want to examine the limiting beliefs you hold about that fear. To elicit your limiting beliefs, ask yourself the following:

• What does the fear mean to you? For instance:  What does failure mean to you? What does rejection mean to you? What does change mean to you?
  
• What are the specific characteristics of the fear that are so troubling?
  
• What does it mean to be the victim of the fear?  What does it mean to be a failure?  What does it mean to be rejected?  What does it mean to face change? 
  
• How do you believe you will feel, or be perceived, if you fall victim to the fear?
  
• Do you view the situation as an opportunity for growth or simply another reason to quit trying?

The fear itself is not holding you back so much as what you believe will happen if the fear actually turns out to be legitimate.  If you believe that your fears will cause only a temporary set back, you are much more likely to take a risk, than if you believe your fears will result in a permanent and negative outcome. 

The beliefs you hold about failure and success directly affect your emotional state and they greatly influence your behavior. Your behavior in turn influences the results you get. It is only when your results change, that your life will change!

When you change your perspective and inner representation about the fears that hold you back, you will build the self-confidence and trust necessary to move forward and fully engage in the process of your life.  Reaching this full engagement requires that you cast away the fear and the limiting beliefs. 

About Dieter Pauwels:

Dieter Pauwels is a professional certified life, business and career coach, speaker and author, facilitating personal and organizational transformation. He works with both individuals and teams to create new possibilities, manage change and maximize their productivity and personal effectiveness.

You can visit his website at www.dieterpauwels.com or read his comments and thoughts on the impact of coaching on life and business on his blog at http://lifecoaching.dieterpauwels.com
 

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience
in which you really stop to look fear in the face."   (Eleanor Roosevelt)

One of the biggest barriers we face when we seek to live the life we want is fear. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of rejection, fear of change, fear of commitment, and fear of loss are just a few of the many fears we experience. Fear is paralyzing. When you live with fear you don’t go anywhere. You end up backing away from opportunities and you unconsciously remove the things in your life that open up new possibilities and opportunities to you in the first place.

The best way to move forward in your career, your finances, your relationships, your sense of fulfillment, or any other aspect of your life, is to identify and challenge your fears. 

To do this takes a three-stage process:

1. Challenge Your Fears

Have you ever allowed fear to keep you from achieving, or even trying to achieve something you already know you want? I know I have. Within each experience of loss, rejection, failure, or hurt, there lies the opportunity to confront and challenge the fears and self-limiting beliefs you hold.

Unfortunately, most people either deny their fears, or run away from them, so they don't have to face them. This causes them to miss out on the opportunity to learn, grow and attract the things they really want in their lives.  Instead they get caught up in a pattern of procrastination, self-sabotage, and destructive behavior.

You can counteract this self-destruction by allowing yourself to become aware of your feelings.  Rather than letting your subconscious take over and act for you, when you allow yourself to feel, you gain clarity. Clarity brings forth compassion instead of judgment, and allows the energy of your heart to flow. With clarity also comes personal power and freedom of choice. You can choose to either take control of your fears or allow your fears to control you.

The choice is yours to make, but it only presents itself after you have honestly identified the fears that hold you back. To uncover the hidden fears that are keeping you from achieving, and being, everything you want, answer the following questions as honestly as possible:

• Are you afraid of rejection, commitment, responsibility, loss, change, confrontation, or not measuring up?
  
• Which fear has the most control over you in your life today?
  
• What behaviors and/or habits have you developed as a means to protect yourself from this fear?
  
• Who would you be without this fear? What would you be doing differently? How would you feel?

Understanding and identifying the fears and consequent behaviors that hold you back, is the first step in setting yourself free and living your life to the fullest.

"Nothing in life is to be feared.  It is only to be understood." ( Marie Curie)

How to Conquer Your Fears: Part 2 of 3 Identify Self Limiting Beliefs

How to Conquer Your Fears: Part 3 of 3 Free Yourself From Fear

About Dieter Pauwels:

Dieter Pauwels is a professional certified life, business and career coach, speaker and author, facilitating personal and organizational transformation. He works with both individuals and teams to create new possibilities, manage change and maximize their productivity and personal effectiveness.

You can visit his website at www.dieterpauwels.com or read his comments and thoughts on the impact of coaching on life and business on his blog at http://lifecoaching.dieterpauwels.com

A wise man once said, "I can predict the future."
"Amazing!" The people shouted, "How can you do that?"
"It's easy", he said, "Most likely it will be a continuation of the present."

Even when the path you are currently on is not taking you where you want to go, the lures of comfort, safety, security, and familiarity pull you to continue in the same direction.  The notion of an easy and uneventful journey compels us to follow along the path of least resistance and complacently accept what life hands us. 

The problem is that, the longer you follow the same route, the harder it is to get off.  After a while, even when you come to a branch in the road, you blindly ignore it in favor of the expected and routine.  When this happens, the future can be foreseen.   Past experiences are simply recycled in the present.

How do you get on this predictable road?  It’s easy really, you simply don't take the time to contemplate what's really important to you.  You don’t think about what you want to accomplish, you don’t think about who you want to be, you don’t think about what will make you happy and content; all you do is react. 

When a log blocks your path, you might find a way over it.  To many people this is success.  But it is only truly successful if by hurtling the log, you get yourself closer to your desired goals.  If you haven’t thought about where you want to go, then how do you know whether you should go over the log or find a path that takes you away from the log altogether? 

When your company downsizes, do you panic and send out resumes en mass, hoping to secure a job somewhere else before you are laid off?  Or, do you use the opportunity as a time to contemplate starting a business, going back to school or finding a position that is better aligned with your core values, inner talents and strengths?  When you are offered a new position in a different state, do you automatically uproot your family and move across the country, or do you ask yourself if the opportunity is really right for you? 

You won’t know what alternatives to pursue if you don’t have a vision for your future. And without a vision, you won’t have the courage or motivation you need to swerve off your path.  Some people think that the little devil you know, is better than the little devil you don't know. But if you continue to face the same demons, how will you ever find out if a devil even exists on the other roads available to you? 

Through my life and career coaching experiences, I have found that most people know what they don't want in their lives, but cannot clearly envision the life they really do want. If I ask you not to think of a blue balloon, can you do it?  Probably not, in fact you are likely thinking of a blue balloon right now.  What that means is you are attending to the very thing I asked you not to.  The same holds true for the things you don’t want.  When you tell yourself what not to do or be, your attention will take you there anyway.

In order to make any changes in your life, all it really takes is to turn, perhaps ever so slightly, in the direction you truly want to go. Whether you turn east or west, north or south will depend on your vision for yourself.  Here’s how to prepare to change your destination and alter your life’s itinerary:

• Accept where you are today.  The present is the only place from which you can move forward. An attitude of acceptance allows change and opens up the opportunity to find a new direction.
  
• Allow yourself to carry only those experiences, beliefs and memories from the past that will support you on the road ahead.
  
• Remember that the past is a trail that is behind you. It is neither good or bad, only thinking it is, makes it so.
  
• Ask yourself, "Where can I go from here?" or "What steps can I take today that will take me down the path I really want to follow?"

The path of life has very wide shoulders; you are not limited to one narrow goat trail.  Following the one, well-beaten trail you see will lead you on an unfulfilling journey.  Create a vision for your future that excites you and motivates you, and then use that enthusiasm to clear a new trail – one that will take you exactly where you want to go, doing the things you are most passionate about, surrounded by the people you love. 

About Dieter Pauwels:

Dieter Pauwels is a professional certified life, business and career coach, speaker and author, facilitating personal and organizational transformation. He works with both individuals and teams to create new possibilities, manage change and maximize their productivity and personal effectiveness.

You can visit his website at www.dieterpauwels.com or read his comments and thoughts on the impact of coaching on life and business on his blog at http://lifecoaching.dieterpauwels.com

What are some of the leadership lessons we can learn from the formation and synchronized movements of a flock of birds, like geese or starlings, to organize effective teams?

1. A common purpose or aim
 
When birds fly in formation, they travel about 70% faster than when they fly alone. When people share a common aim or sense of community, they achieve results more quickly by trusting one another. People can only be fully committed when the common objective of the team (or corporation) is aligned with their own individual objectives, values and principles.
In many companies, the overall (sales) targets only deliver on the aims of the people at the top of the hierarchy. In order to inspire people and create loyalty, company goals and targets need to be aligned with a broader common purpose. Shared objectives and principles will lead to increased creativity, innovations and new solutions. We need common ground to create uncommon results! 

2. Commitment to others
 
Birds of a feather flock together. The highly coordinated movements of a flock of birds are among the most fascinating phenomena to be found in nature. A flock of birds seems to turn and maneuver as a single unit, changing direction almost instantaneously.

Commitment to each other forms the foundation for synergy that allows a team to work in unity. Commitment to others can only be achieved through honest communication, contribution and cooperation. The individual commitment to a team effort is what makes a team successful! A strong sense of commitment creates a feeling of belonging and security.

3. Shared leadership
 
Observation shows that geese rotate leadership regularly and frequently. Different birds will be at the front of the flock every time it changes direction. Successful teams share leadership according to the changing circumstances. Leadership shifts to where it is most appropriate based on the individual skills, knowledge and strengths of its members. The old business paradigm, based on hierarchy – a single leader - and individualism, undermines the productivity and effectiveness of many teams.

About Dieter Pauwels:

Dieter Pauwels is a professional certified life, business and career coach, speaker and author, facilitating personal and organizational transformation. He works with both individuals and teams to create new possibilities, manage change and maximize their productivity and personal effectiveness.

You can visit his website at www.dieterpauwels.com or read his comments and thoughts on the impact of coaching on life and business on his blog at http://lifecoaching.dieterpauwels.com

One can wonder if happiness is real or even possible to achieve. What is it that makes people happy? When we set goals, pursue a career, or choose a relationship, we do so because we believe that ultimately it will make us feel a certain way. We believe it will make us happy!  Sometimes these things do make us happy, at least for a little while, and sometimes we feel even further removed from the prize in our pursuit of happiness.

What are the criteria by which we measure happiness? Is it love, success, personal growth, personal fulfillment or money?
Studies have shown that even the most wealthy people in the United States are only slightly happier than average. Take a look in People magazine, and you’ll see exactly what I’m talking about. Celebrities might be rich and famous, yet do most of them look happier than you or I? 

Based on scientific studies and my own research and experience as a professional certified life coach and business coach, I have created a success formula on how to be happy.

H = E + (U + C + I)

H stands for the level of Happiness

Happiness is experienced as an emotional state of being. You can only be happy in the present moment.
Happiness is not some sort of reward you’ll receive in the future for accomplishing certain tasks or getting what you think you want.  Sure, accomplishing a goal will probably make you happy, and pursuing one will too. However, just because you have a goal, doesn’t mean you’ll be happy.

When you project your feelings of happiness based on some event or circumstance in the future, like achieving a certain goal, getting a promotion at work or a possible future relationship, you’ll find yourself empty handed.  Expectation doesn’t always equal success, and you’re basically setting yourself up for a fall.

The reason this strategy doesn’t work is because what you fail to take into consideration is the fact that it’s still going to be the same person, namely you, with that promotion or in that new relationship. Real happiness is not something to be waited for. If you wait for things to change in your life in order to feel happy, you will miss out on that what you seek.

We all experience happiness in our own unique way. For example, I can experience happiness in the smile of a child, by the encouragement of a friend, a breakthrough during a life coaching conversation, watching a beautiful sunset or listening to a musical masterpiece performed by Andrea Bocelli.

E stands for Environment

Some people tend to be naturally or genetically happier than others. A new British study suggests that half the differences in happiness are related to genes. According to co-researcher Tim Bates, from the School of Philosophy, Psychology and Language Sciences at the University of Edinburgh, those happiness-related genes are genes for personality, namely for being extroverted, emotionally stable and conscientious. The genes that predispose people to happiness are related to certain personality traits such as being outgoing, calm and reliable. If you don't worry excessively and are sociable and conscientious, you are more likely to be happier.

We all have inner resources or capabilities to develop a happier lifestyle. When you make a commitment to personal growth and self development, you can further develop and strengthen your personal happiness related qualities.

U stands for Understanding

Seek to understand what makes you happy. Yes we all want to be happy, yet we don’t always know what makes us happy.

Many people have a pretty good idea about the stuff that doesn’t make them happy or the things they do no longer want in their lives. They continue to talk about the job they don’t like or the fact that they don’t get paid enough for the work they do. Others keep complaining about their relationships at home or at work.  The more you focus on what you don’t want, the more likely you will attract similar circumstances in your life. Also, when you define happiness based on what other people are saying or doing, it will be difficult for you to experience it.

Everyone is unique. We all seek different ways and capacities to experience happiness. Once you get clear on what happiness means to you, the more likely it is that you will experience it.

Once you understand how specifically you operate, and what motivates you (core beliefs, values and goals) you maximize your innate ability to find value and happiness in all expressions and experiences of your life.

A personal coach can help you identify your core values, strengths and beliefs, and develop a plan to achieve and enjoy a higher level of authentic happiness. Identifying, acknowledging and understanding your unique way of being allows you to choose and create more of the experiences that make you happy.

C stands for Circumstances

Circumstances come from the outside, the things over which you have little control. Sometimes the odds are in your favor and sometimes they are against you. You can’t control the state of the economy, or the weather, or the way people behave or react. The more you let outside forces determine your overall state of happiness, the more it will elude you.

Receiving a nice bonus can make you happy – at least for a while, but enduring happiness can only come from the inside, and that’s something you can control.

I stands for Intentional

This is under your control. The emotional state and consequent feelings of happiness depend on what you allow yourself to experience. Setting your intent is about directing your focus in the present moment toward a future outcome or goal. Because of the constantly changing environment of your life, setting your intent is an ever renewing process. When you set your intent, you are opening the doors to create the kinds of life experiences that you want to have.

Your intentions are thoughts, and your thoughts are energy. Your thoughts affect your emotional state and the way you feel about the things in your life. The way you feel will greatly influence the actions you decide to take or not to take. The actions you take determine the results you get.

These results will affect your life experiences and create your perception of reality. What you perceive to be true for yourself will shape your beliefs and your outlook on life. That’s why happy people live happy lives and angry people live angry lives. It is a self fulfilling prophecy!

Happiness is a way of being. It is being appreciative of who you are. It is being grateful for the unique talents you have been blessed with. Happiness is the joy of being alive. Happiness is that inner knowing that you made a contribution, that you gave your best effort possible, no matter the ultimate outcome.

Happiness has no regrets. Happiness comes from the heart and has a profound effect on your physical, emotional and spiritual well being.

Happiness is a choice! Be the cause of your own happiness and watch the ripple effect it has on others.

Choose happiness. Make it a habit.

About Dieter Pauwels:

Dieter Pauwels is a professional certified life, business and career coach, speaker and author, facilitating personal and organizational transformation. He works with both individuals and teams to create new possibilities, manage change and maximize their productivity and personal effectiveness.

You can visit his website at www.dieterpauwels.com or read his comments and thoughts on the impact of coaching on life and business on his blog at http://lifecoaching.dieterpauwels.com