What makes people succeed in following through on their well intended goals, is not motivation, willpower, skills or talent. Even though these are all important in any formula for success, the most important factor for success is your belief.

We behave and make choices based on what we believe is true. We make decisions that are congruent or aligned with what we believe is true, especially with what we believe about ourselves.

What do you believe about yourself?

If you want to emulate someone who has been successful or someone who has accomplished the things you would like to accomplish, or has achieved the goals you aspire to achieve, the most intuitive and logical question to ask would be “How did you do that?”  The counter intuitive - but more important - question is “What do you believe about yourself that allowed you to achieve those things?” "What has to be true about you that made you successful?"

If it were just a question of how- to do something and having the willpower to do it, we would all achieve many more things in our lives.

Without a firm belief in yourself and a clear reason why you want what you want (based on your values and principles), it is easy to get sidetracked. Beliefs and values are the two sides of the coin called motivation. They give you direction, a sense of purpose and lead to inspired action.

What are some of the core beliefs that have to be in place?

First, you have to believe that achieving your goal is really possible for you. Notice the difference between ‘thinking’ something is possible (from your head), ‘believing’ something is possible (from your heart) and ‘feeling’ it is possible (from your gut)

When your head, heart and gut are aligned, you create tremendous inner power. You create a high level of certainty. When people get into that place of certainty, achieving their goal becomes a must.

Second, you have to believe that you have what it takes the resources to achieve your goal. Resources can be internal and external. Examples of internal resources could be: courage, skill, commitment, confidence, clarity, passion, energy, strength, faith, resilience, communication, determination and wisdom. Some examples of external resource could be: people, money, business strategy technology and time.

And third, you have to believe you’re fully deserving of reaching your goal.

As a life coach I find it interesting how we have developed these beliefs about how much money we can make, or what kind of relationship we can find, or how much success we can have.  We all have these belief systems about how much joy, love or success we can experience.

By holding on to these limiting and erroneous beliefs we sabotage ourselves, causing us to remain in the old familiar comfort zone were we feel secure.

We can change limiting and erroneous beliefs when we fully understand and acknowledge the core limiting belief.  We can also change self limiting beliefs by starting to build new empowering habits.

In his book “The Big Leap”, author Garry Hendricks writes that each of us has an inner thermostat setting that determines how much love, success, and creativity we allow ourselves to enjoy. When we exceed our inner thermostat setting, we will often do something to sabotage ourselves, causing us to drop back into the old, familiar zone where we feel secure.

Does this sound familiar?

As a personal life strategy coach I have found that what influences your inner thermostat setting the most are the beliefs you hold about yourself. Some of these beliefs are limiting - even erroneous -  and hold you back from enjoying all the love, financial abundance, and creativity that’s rightfully yours.

But unless you make a concerted effort and commitment to change your inner thermostat setting will remain the same, your past story will continue into the present and beyond.

But what if you could make the desired changes you seek in your personal life or career, would you? What if you would choose, decide, take action and realize your goals? What would the payoff be if you really made this happen? How valuable would that be?

What would that be worth to you? How would that change your life's situation?

Of course this possibility would be tremendously valuable  - not only in terms of financial gain, but in terms of happiness, emotional health, personal growth, and personal success.

Stop sabotaging yourself and unlock your true potential. Schedule a complimentary coaching strategy session today and learn more about how life coaching may benefit your current life or career situation.

In a continuation of our life coaching articles series on Jim Rohn, let’s explore the second and third piece that comprises his Life Puzzle. 

Attitude

Jim Rohn defines attitude by stating: "Your attitude is defined by how you FEEL about the past, the present and the future.  This is the emotional side of the puzzle.  How we FEEL about our experiences in life can either stop us in our tracks or inspire us to action."

We all have a choice that we can make: we can let the past overwhelm us, or we can let the past educate us.  And unless we can learn from the past, the chances are that our future will be much of the same.

But there’s something special about this moment: you can decide right here, right now where you want to be in twelve months.  That’s the incredible power of attitude.

Rohn makes two important notes while talking about attitude:

•  The power of associations.  Who am I around?  How are they influencing me? Is that okay
•  The notion of building a high self-worth in order to create a better future.

He brings in this fantastic quote to sum up the above points:

"If there is one are in the knowledge department where we cannot afford to be lacking, it is the knowledge and awareness of our uniqueness.  We do not feel better about ourselves for the simple reason that we do not really know ourselves.  For if we truly knew ourselves- our strengths, our abilities, our resources, our depth of feeling, our sense of humor, our unique accomplishments – we would never again doubt our ability to create a better future."

I’d like to take a moment to tie this section into a topic that’s been a constant presence in the media today: bullying.  When you don’t feel valued, or when you have a low sense of self-worth, the future becomes very bleak.  When some children are bullied, they think their futures are so bleak that they take their own lives.  This is UNACCEPTABLE in the society we live in.  It’s not just the school system that’s failing these kids; “we” as a society are failing these kids.

In the words of Rohn, “We become a powerful force when each of us understands how powerful all of us are and when all of us understand how valuable each of us is.”

Therefore it is our responsibility as a society to teach kids the importance of understanding how valuable each person really is, no matter what the color of their skin or sexual orientation.  But if we keep sending messages that it is NOT okay to be different and unique, then we can only find fault within ourselves.

Teaching shouldn’t be just about algebra and science; we need to help children learn to understand themselves, discover their unique talents and accept the uniqueness of all.  Personal development SHOULD become part of the school curriculum. 

Activity

Rohn starts off this section with another powerful quote: “But a growing awareness and a positive attitude are not enough in and of themselves.  What we know and how we feel merely determine our potential for achievement.  Whether we actually achieve our goals is ultimately determined by our activity.”

In other words, even the best intentions are useless without action.  To live a successful life, you must take steps towards you ultimate goals, no matter how small those steps may be.  After all, taking action – even a tiny step – is still activity.

If life were a game, how can you win?
Like every game, there are a certain set of rules that must be followed.  There are points to score.  Penalties to avoid.  And if you want to be really successful at the game, then you want to study and understand all the rules.

But when it comes to winning in the game of life, just what are the rules – and what happens when we don’t choose to play by them?
The simple answer is that there is no one set of rules that everyone has to follow to win at life.  Sure, we may have cultural, legal and even social rules, but these pale in comparison to the rules of leading a successful and fulfilling life.  These rules of the game are a bit harder to figure out, simply because these rules are made – and can be broken – by you.

Let’s face it: when we live by someone else’s rules, we can never truly enjoy a rewarding personal and professional life.  For example, if you’re continually striving to live by the rules of someone who’s been a major success in your field or industry, then you’ll never get the opportunity to experience what it’s like to trail-blaze your own path.  You’re living life by someone else’s game rules – and because you’re not that person, you’re setting yourself up to lose.

Let’s look at an example of someone who’s certainly living by his own set of rules: Charlie Sheen.  No matter what your opinion may be about him, there’s no denying that he makes and succeeds at his own game.  When CBS booted him off of his wildly successful sitcom "Two and a Half Men," he didn’t beg for them to take him back.  Instead, he made a different set of rules by launching an extremely popular viral video channel and comedy tour worth millions of dollars.  His catchphrases are so beloved that they’ve even made their way into our cultural zeitgeist ("winning" and "tiger blood" are a few that come to mind). 

Now how does this relate to our personal lives?  While you don’t have to go to the extent of Charlie Sheen (in fact, as a personal life coach I wouldn’t recommend it), it’s important to define success on your own terms, not others.  Playing by another person’s set of rules is tiring – after all, no game is enjoyable when you can’t possibly win at it. 

By changing the rules of the game – or playing a different game altogether – you’re already on a path to winning at the game of life.

Why would anyone be afraid of success?  Spiders, yes. Fear of heights, sure. Anxiety and fear of public speaking, of course. But fear of success?

It might surprise you to know that many, many people - if not the majority - are actually afraid of being successful. This comes as a surprise to many people because it seems so counter-intuitive and because we often never realize that this is at the heart of achieving the results we deserve in our professional and personal lives. Consider the following thoughts and beliefs that often surface during life coaching dialogues:

• the thought that you are unworthy of having good things happen to you—good things only happen to other people
• being paralyzed by the thought that if you try and you fail, it will be too devastating
• believing that you're just not good enough, not talented enough, not competent enough, not deserving enough, etc.
• thinking that somehow anything you accomplish will explode and turn into something bad or painful down the road
• the idea that no matter how much you win and succeed, it'll never be enough to satisfy you or fill up your emptiness
• only being able to see the other people in the world that you perceive as being better than you are and feeling intimidated by them
• thinking that once (or if) you get to the top, you won't be able to stay there
• believing that once you start a project and get your hopes up, your motivation will fade and you'll just be letting yourself down

Do any of these thoughts sound familiar? If so, the first step is to recognize and acknowledge that you are sabotaging yourself with self-destructive thinking based on erroneous belief patterns. Once you identify the limiting belief(s), ask yourself what holding this belief achieved for you in the past? You see, we don’t adopt beliefs that serve no purpose. Only when you recognize and fully understand the positive purpose of the belief can you not only challenge it but replace it with a more empowering belief. Examples of positive and empowering beliefs are:

• "I am really good at giving and receiving."
• "I deserve to be paid well for my work."
• "I am good enough to have what I want."
• "I am as good as anyone to have what I want."
• "I can have what I want and be really lovable"
• "I'm the kind of person who gets what I want by asking."
• "I deserve to have what I want in life."
• "I can have what I want, and help others get what they want."
• "When I follow my heart, I create what I want."
• "I can have money and be close to my family."
• "When I really know what I want, things come to me naturally."
• "My needs are as important as anyone's."
• "I can achieve whatever I set my mind to do."
• "I can have what I want and still be connected to God."
• "I am safe to be all of who I am."

If you realize now that you do have a fear of success or you recognize that you’re still holding on to limiting beliefs, consider working with a trained and qualified life coach for assistance and guidance.

The power of intention can change your life. Every action, every behavior is grounded in intention, whether or not you are consciously aware of it. As a personal life coach, let me share with you how the power of intention is important to your personal success and how you can take charge of your future with a few simple changes in your thinking.

The Intention Cycle

Your intention determines what you focus on. What you focus on determines how you will experience any given situation. The way you experience things then determines how you feel. Of course, the better you feel about yourself and what is possible, the more confident you will become in yourself and the brighter your future will begin to look. The better you feel, the more compelled you will be to take action. You can think of this as a cycle with the following components: Intention, focus, experience, feeling and action.

Setting Your Intent

Harnessing the power of intention begins with setting your intent. Perhaps you want to have a better job, more money, or a more fulfilling relationship? It all starts with setting your intention. Setting your intent is about directing your focus in the present moment toward a future outcome. It is about making conscious and committed decisions to attract certain experiences and outcomes in your life, even when you aren't sure when or how they will manifest. “Intention” is not so much something you do--it is more about the kind of experiences you attract by consciously focusing on what you want. Once you set your intent, it will affect how you behave, your communication, your mood, and even how you respond to life.

Once you have set your intention, your mind will start searching for ways to experience what you want. It will go to work figuring out how it can create these kinds of experiences. For example, if you have an important meeting coming up, sit down and write down your intentions for it. Perhaps it's important to have fun, be productive, connect with others, feel peace, or be helpful. You'll notice your meeting is more likely to manifest how you like when your intent is set on it. Carry these intentions in your mind everywhere you go and be attentive to your surroundings. Look for synchronicity as the right opportunities will suddenly present themselves!

The power of intention can change your life. Your intention determines what you focus on - both positive and negative - and what you focus on determines how you will experience any given situation. Choose your intentions wisely.

As a personal life coach I work with many creative, intelligent, skilled, and passionate people who, despite having clearly defined goals, are not achieving the success of which they are truly capable. It’s not that they fear failure; it’s not that they don’t have the know-how. It’s because they unconsciously find a way to sabotage themselves. They don’t allow themselves to succeed. Unable to give themselves permission to value themselves, they cannot achieve the success they deserve.

One of my life coaching clients, a young and vibrant entrepreneur in his mid-thirties, started coaching with me because he wanted to take his business to the next level. He told me that for the last couple of years his business had remained stagnant and he felt himself procrastinating to make decisions needed to grow his business. I asked him what would stop a smart and creative young man from achieving the success he really wanted. “I don’t know,” he replied. “But sometimes I feel that achieving success means that I’m selfish, and I feel really guilty about that.” When I inquired more about his feeling of guilt, he mentioned that a voice in his head kept telling him that he should just be happy with where he was, that he didn’t need any more than what he had already.

I think we all have such voices talking to us. Like bullies, they try to intimidate us and keep us from achieving the success we want. They tell us that if we want too much for ourselves we’re self-centered or selfish, or that one day others will find out that we’re not that good, or that success is for others but not us. When we listen to these voices, and it’s hard not to, things can get pretty dark inside our heads. In personal coaching we sometimes refer to these little voices that hold us back as our “gremlins.” Recognizing these little creatures for what they are is a first step toward taming them. A playful, yet effective way we can deal with them is to personify our gremlin by giving it a name, some characteristics, and perhaps a personality.

I’ve always had this little voice—this little gremlin—in my head that I call Peter Perfect. He is a smart and witty creature who always tells me that unless I can do something perfectly, I shouldn’t do it. But instead of hoping that one day he would go away, I have come to understand that in recognizing Peter Perfect for what he is, I diminish his power to run my life and hold me back.

In order to succeed in life you must first give yourself permission to succeed. This means you have to develop a positive inner dialogue that is congruent with your true intentions. To determine whether your inner thoughts are supporting or limiting you, you want to ask yourself, “Would I say the same words to a friend, a family member, or colleague who needs my support?”

In 1937, during the Great Depression, Napoleon Hill wrote “Think and Grow Rich” – one of the best books ever written on the subject of personal development and success. Napoleon Hill has inspired millions of people and has been a major influence in the work of today’s biggest motivational speakers and coaches, including Steven Covey and Anthony Robbins.

In his book, Napoleon Hill discusses eleven traits of successful leaders. Not only are these leadership characteristics essential in any professional leadership role, more importantly, they can serve you as great points of reference in your personal life. You are the leader of your own life. You shape your destiny based on the choices and decisions you make each and every day.

Keep this list in mind as you navigate through your own life’s journey. These cornerstone qualities will heighten your awareness and encourage you to assume full responsibility for your life and become the leader you were meant to be.

Life Coaching Questions:

As you read through the list below, ask yourself the following questions:

• Which leadership qualities am I consciously expressing in my daily life?
  
• What personal qualities are not in alignment with my current lifestyle?
  
• What leadership traits are currently not being expressed in my life? What is preventing me from integrating them into my life? How can I become a better steward of my own life?
  
• What am I committed to? What choices will I make?

Here are the eleven leadership traits as discussed by Napoleon Hill.

1. Unwavering courage

2. Self control

3. A keen sense of justice

4. Definiteness of decision

5. Definiteness of plans

6. Doing more than one is paid for

7. A pleasing personality

8. Sympathy and understanding

9. Mastery of detail

10. Willingness to assume full responsibility

11. Cooperation

If you're like me, and most other people, there are things in your life that you wish were different and would like to change for the better. Although you may have had the best intentions to change in the past, for some reason you have not been able to successfully achieve the results you want.

Perhaps you have wanted to kick a bad habit. Or you feel you deserve a raise or promotion at work, yet something is preventing you from asking for it. Alternatively, you find yourself in a relationship that is no longer fulfilling. Maybe you have wanted to lose weight, and have tried all the miracle diets, or joined a local health club, but never shed those extra pounds.

What could prevent you from making the changes you desire?

1. Positive side effects 

Sometimes you may try to create change in your life, but you are not consciously aware of the positive benefits or side effects that you are getting from your current situation.

Some people who label themselves as depressed, stay depressed, because of the extra emotional attention they are receiving from family and friends. The desire for attention, or the need for significance, becomes a strong enough motivator for them to stay depressed.

Think about the positive benefits of the situation you would like to change. What are some of the emotional, mental or physical positive side effects of your current situation? How important are these benefits to you? How could you maintain the same positive side effect by making the change you desire?

2. Inner conflict

Sometimes you may resist the change you think you want, because of an inner conflict between the values you hold.
 
Values are basically ideals that are important to you in your life. They are usually expressed in abstract terms such as success, respect, freedom, health, love, loyalty, honesty, integrity and so forth.
 
Let's assume that you want to get a promotion at work but never asked for it.
 
Now imagine for a moment that you actually did receive the promotion you wanted. What would getting a promotion mean to you? More money? And how important would that be compared to some other values that you hold? 
 
If a promotion means a better paycheck, but it also means more time away from your family, this may create inner conflict which will likely cause you to resist moving forward. What you resist will persist!

3. Self-limiting beliefs and thoughts
 

Another reason why you might resist change is because t you’re holding on to limiting or outdated beliefs that prevent you from moving forward and getting the results you really want.
 
Think about the change you want to make …
 
How confident are you that reaching your goal or outcome is possible for you? Do you believe that you have what it takes to make that change? In other words, do you believe that you are truly capable of getting what you want? Do you believe you are deserving of the change you want?

Now, again imagine that you already successfully achieved your outcome. How would this new situation affect you and the people around you? And, would that be okay? 
 
By exploring some of the questions above, you may discover some limiting beliefs you hold about yourself or the situation you want to change. 

It is only when you become consciously aware of the internal barriers - positive side effects, conflicting values or limiting beliefs - that you will be able to make a full personal commitment to the process of change.

1. Get excited

You have more options and thus more opportunities than ever before. This also means that you will have more choices to make. Take responsibility and get excited about the choices you will make now as they will determine your level of success and personal satisfaction in the future. Conversely, if you feel that you are "making do" or just settling for something, you can expect more of the same and set yourself up for possible failure.

2. Why versus how

One of the main reasons people fail in following through on their resolutions is because they have not developed enough compelling reasons why they should change. Once you are clear about what you want, whether it is a personal goal or business objective, create a strong "emotional awareness" for yourself. This means that you have to go beyond your thoughts and carry it over to your emotions. Fall in love with the process of reaching your goals.

3. Associate with the right people

Look for family, friends or co-workers who believe in you and support you. Seek the assistance from a personal coach who can give you the learning, strategies, motivation and accountability to achieve your goals.

4. Sweat the small stuff

Henry Ford once said that if you break a big job into small parts it will become easy. Ask yourself what activities are necessary each day and every week to move you in the direction of your goals.

5. Choose feedback versus failure

Many people don’t set goals because they are afraid they might fail. Remember that failure is a concept that only exists in your mind. When you don’t get immediate results, you have not failed, but you have only  produced a certain result. So whatever the results are, consider it feedback and not failure. Ask yourself:"What can I learn from the result I produced?" It is within the answer to this question that you will discover new opportunities and learn better ways of creating the results you seek. At all times remain flexible.

6. What you focus on expands

Focus on what reaching your goal will mean to you, your family, friends or colleagues. Create a mental picture in your mind of the new and improved you and let go of the limiting beliefs and thoughts of your current situation. When you focus on what you don’t have (yet) or focus on the voids in your life, you will only get more of it.

7. Teamwork makes the dream work

When you set goals, think how others will benefit as well. Selfish goals have little merit. Success in any endeavor can only be achieved with and through others.

Compelling goals will give you the ability to grow and stay focused in times of social and economic change. Goals will not only pull you in the direction where you want to go, but also influence the activities you get involved in and the people you meet along the way.  You will find that the path you take, the direction you choose is what is most rewarding. It’s not so much what you will get when you reach your destination or achieve your goal, it’s the person you will become when you get there that defines you for yourself and others.

To your success in 2009!