In this video,St. Louis based life coach and career consultant Dieter Pauwels talks about the importance of understanding and living your core values to attract more of the life experiences you seek.

Life Coaching Core Values from Dieter Pauwels on Vimeo.

In his book "The Inner Game of Tennis", Timothy Gallwey focuses on the game that's in the mind of each player. According to Gallwey, performance equals potential minus interference.

A tennis player faces two types of interferences. One is the outer opponent on the court, the other is the inner opponent in his or her mind. More often than not, the inner opponent is the tougher of the two. The inner game reflects the struggle each player has with his/her own mental limitations. Gallway identifies the inner opponent as that part of you that is judgmental, thinks too much, overanalyzes and tries too hard.

The first step in overcoming the limitations of your inner opponent is to become more aware, and focus on what you are actually doing, instead of what you should be doing. Second, and perhaps more importantly, is to let go and trust your natural ability to learn.

We all have been given the capacity to learn. In fact, most children learn to walk before they can be told how to do so by their parents. Children gain confidence from the natural learning process happening within them.

In our relationships, business and health, we all vow to do better. We all have an innate desire to grow and excel in the things we do. But as we grow older, the thinking (and trying) sometimes gets in the way of our innate ability to learn and grow!
 
Growing up, I remember watching a great tennis match on television with my two brothers. After watching the game we would go outside and replay the match. We modeled great tennis players,like Borg, Connors and McEnroe, from the way they hit the ball to the sights and sounds of their game. These were perhaps the best and most fun games we ever played.

A great way to tap into your natural ability is to model the people who have demonstrated excellence in your field. Look for the difference that made the difference! Find out how they do what they do so well. How do they think? What goals and values do they have? What are the beliefs they hold about themselves and others?

When you study and model excellence, while trusting your ability to learn and grow, you will get excellent results. In order to win in the game of life, you need to win the inner game first.

In today's global and interconnected world, there is an urgent need to build bridges between people of different cultures, faith, traditions, and worldviews.

Building bridges starts within your own circle of influence; your family and friends, your local community, your colleagues at work, etc.

The quality of your relationships is built upon your ability to communicate with others through genuine dialogue.

Think of the process of dialogue as a bridge. A bridge has 4 solid anchor points. In order to build bridges to other people, there are 4 anchor points or qualities that need to be in place. When all these qualities are present, every conversation has the potential to be transformed into dialogue.
 
1. Trust

There needs to be a high level of mutual trust. The only way to build a high level of trust is by building rapport with the other person.
 
Have you ever talked with someone and for some reason felt you couldn't trust that person? What was missing? Were you able to honestly open up with that person? Probably not.

2. Equality

In order to engage in a genuine dialogue with one another, we need to treat each other as equals. Often you see people in positions of authority deceive themselves into thinking that they are treating people as equals, when they are actually not doing so. It takes more than a round table to create the kind of equality needed to establish a true dialogue.

3. Empathy

Empathy is the ability to listen at a deeper level. It's the ability to walk in someone else's shoes. Listening with empathy is the ability to understand someone else's thoughts and feelings, without judgment. The moment we judge, we push aside any opportunity for positive change.

Many personal and business relationships break down because people lack the skill, motivation, or the patience to truly listen at a deeper level. Understanding precedes change.

4. Bringing assumptions and beliefs into the open

Have you ever assumed something about someone or something and later found out that you were completely wrong? The beliefs we hold and the assumptions we make define our highly conditioned view of the world.

When you are able to speak openly and honestly about the beliefs you hold and the assumptions you make, you can build a deeper understanding based on mutual respect.
 
In many personal conflicts, it is often about values and beliefs, not people. The values we hold are expressed through the beliefs that support them.

When you build trust, listen with empathy, and are willing to talk openly about assumptions, you will create an opening for mutual understanding that cannot be created any other way.