One can wonder if happiness is real or even possible to achieve. What is it that makes people happy? When we set goals, pursue a career, or choose a relationship, we do so because we believe that ultimately it will make us feel a certain way. We believe it will make us happy!  Sometimes these things do make us happy, at least for a little while, and sometimes we feel even further removed from the prize in our pursuit of happiness.

What are the criteria by which we measure happiness? Is it love, success, personal growth, personal fulfillment or money?
Studies have shown that even the most wealthy people in the United States are only slightly happier than average. Take a look in People magazine, and you’ll see exactly what I’m talking about. Celebrities might be rich and famous, yet do most of them look happier than you or I? 

Based on scientific studies and my own research and experience as a professional certified life coach and business coach, I have created a success formula on how to be happy.

H = E + (U + C + I)

H stands for the level of Happiness

Happiness is experienced as an emotional state of being. You can only be happy in the present moment.
Happiness is not some sort of reward you’ll receive in the future for accomplishing certain tasks or getting what you think you want.  Sure, accomplishing a goal will probably make you happy, and pursuing one will too. However, just because you have a goal, doesn’t mean you’ll be happy.

When you project your feelings of happiness based on some event or circumstance in the future, like achieving a certain goal, getting a promotion at work or a possible future relationship, you’ll find yourself empty handed.  Expectation doesn’t always equal success, and you’re basically setting yourself up for a fall.

The reason this strategy doesn’t work is because what you fail to take into consideration is the fact that it’s still going to be the same person, namely you, with that promotion or in that new relationship. Real happiness is not something to be waited for. If you wait for things to change in your life in order to feel happy, you will miss out on that what you seek.

We all experience happiness in our own unique way. For example, I can experience happiness in the smile of a child, by the encouragement of a friend, a breakthrough during a life coaching conversation, watching a beautiful sunset or listening to a musical masterpiece performed by Andrea Bocelli.

E stands for Environment

Some people tend to be naturally or genetically happier than others. A new British study suggests that half the differences in happiness are related to genes. According to co-researcher Tim Bates, from the School of Philosophy, Psychology and Language Sciences at the University of Edinburgh, those happiness-related genes are genes for personality, namely for being extroverted, emotionally stable and conscientious. The genes that predispose people to happiness are related to certain personality traits such as being outgoing, calm and reliable. If you don't worry excessively and are sociable and conscientious, you are more likely to be happier.

We all have inner resources or capabilities to develop a happier lifestyle. When you make a commitment to personal growth and self development, you can further develop and strengthen your personal happiness related qualities.

U stands for Understanding

Seek to understand what makes you happy. Yes we all want to be happy, yet we don’t always know what makes us happy.

Many people have a pretty good idea about the stuff that doesn’t make them happy or the things they do no longer want in their lives. They continue to talk about the job they don’t like or the fact that they don’t get paid enough for the work they do. Others keep complaining about their relationships at home or at work.  The more you focus on what you don’t want, the more likely you will attract similar circumstances in your life. Also, when you define happiness based on what other people are saying or doing, it will be difficult for you to experience it.

Everyone is unique. We all seek different ways and capacities to experience happiness. Once you get clear on what happiness means to you, the more likely it is that you will experience it.

Once you understand how specifically you operate, and what motivates you (core beliefs, values and goals) you maximize your innate ability to find value and happiness in all expressions and experiences of your life.

A personal coach can help you identify your core values, strengths and beliefs, and develop a plan to achieve and enjoy a higher level of authentic happiness. Identifying, acknowledging and understanding your unique way of being allows you to choose and create more of the experiences that make you happy.

C stands for Circumstances

Circumstances come from the outside, the things over which you have little control. Sometimes the odds are in your favor and sometimes they are against you. You can’t control the state of the economy, or the weather, or the way people behave or react. The more you let outside forces determine your overall state of happiness, the more it will elude you.

Receiving a nice bonus can make you happy – at least for a while, but enduring happiness can only come from the inside, and that’s something you can control.

I stands for Intentional

This is under your control. The emotional state and consequent feelings of happiness depend on what you allow yourself to experience. Setting your intent is about directing your focus in the present moment toward a future outcome or goal. Because of the constantly changing environment of your life, setting your intent is an ever renewing process. When you set your intent, you are opening the doors to create the kinds of life experiences that you want to have.

Your intentions are thoughts, and your thoughts are energy. Your thoughts affect your emotional state and the way you feel about the things in your life. The way you feel will greatly influence the actions you decide to take or not to take. The actions you take determine the results you get.

These results will affect your life experiences and create your perception of reality. What you perceive to be true for yourself will shape your beliefs and your outlook on life. That’s why happy people live happy lives and angry people live angry lives. It is a self fulfilling prophecy!

Happiness is a way of being. It is being appreciative of who you are. It is being grateful for the unique talents you have been blessed with. Happiness is the joy of being alive. Happiness is that inner knowing that you made a contribution, that you gave your best effort possible, no matter the ultimate outcome.

Happiness has no regrets. Happiness comes from the heart and has a profound effect on your physical, emotional and spiritual well being.

Happiness is a choice! Be the cause of your own happiness and watch the ripple effect it has on others.

Choose happiness. Make it a habit.

About Dieter Pauwels:

Dieter Pauwels is a professional certified life, business and career coach, speaker and author, facilitating personal and organizational transformation. He works with both individuals and teams to create new possibilities, manage change and maximize their productivity and personal effectiveness.

You can visit his website at www.dieterpauwels.com or read his comments and thoughts on the impact of coaching on life and business on his blog at http://lifecoaching.dieterpauwels.com

We are living in a fast paced world and it seems to be moving faster each year. With more commitments, schedules, to-do lists, appointments, voice mails and e-mails, we often experience increased stress and a sense of being overwhelmed. Do you sometimes feel your life is out of balance? Do you sometimes envision your life with less tension, less stress, pressure, and more balance?

If you have ever watched a pendulum you were probably mesmerized by the peaceful, almost melodic, back and forth movement. This rhythm and flow is reflected in our lives and can teach us a great deal about balance and personal growth. Just as a pendulum swings back and forth so do we, as we journey through life. 

A pendulum’s movement teaches and reinforces for us that life is not static. The pendulum is constantly moving from one side to the other. Moving continuously, the rhythm is constant between two opposites.

Life mimics this movement in accordance with a prescribed rhythm. We are constantly moving between opposing emotions and states: in and out, up and down, back and forth, positive and negative, excess and deficiency, high and low, order and chaos, hope and despair, ignorance and understanding.

All things move from side to side. Think of the business cycle. As the economy expands and contracts we move through peaks of prosperity to troughs of economic recession and even depression. Just as the tide is not always high and the moon is not always full, your life follows an orderly cycle as well.

No set of circumstances is forever. When you feel down or things are not working out the way you want, don't feel discouraged. Know that things will swing back up and get better. They always do!

"There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without the measure of darkness and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness." (Carl Jung)

By accepting the highs and lows in your life, and always keeping in mind that things will change, your whole perspective on living will change along with it. When you understand that everything in life follows a constant rhythm between two opposites, you can better appreciate and fully enjoy all the stages in the cycle of life.

Embracing each stage in life allows you to experience personal growth and balance. Here’s how:

• Know your situation will improve and do not dwell on the negative. 
• Choose to learn from every experience you have.
• Understand that failure is part of every success. 
• Accept the good and bad, the highs and lows, and look for the lessons in each and every moment.
• Know there is a time and place for everything.
• When you reach a goal, take time to celebrate, relax and recharge your batteries.
• Know that reaching success is not the end point. Begin to lay the groundwork for the next goal and prepare yourself for more ups and downs
• Allow yourself to get back "in the swing" of things and follow your path of least resistance.

Question # 10: "How am I spending my time?"

We all have 24 hours each day. We cannot manage ‘time’, yet we can choose how we manage ourselves with the time we have. Time is your most valuable resource. You only have a limited supply.

What is your present relationship with time? Does it give you the satisfaction and fulfillment you seek?  Do you feel there are never enough hours in the day to achieve what you want? Do you sometimes feel that others are managing your time?

How you choose to spend your time is how you spend your life.

The way you spend your time tells you much about your priorities and what you value in life.
Do you know what your core values and priorities are? Have you decided what the top ten things are that you want to spend your time on in the New Year?

"If you want to make good use of your time, you've got to know what's most important and then give it all you've got."  (Lee Iacocca)

Take some time to reflect on the larger areas in your life, such as your work/career, health, relationships, finances, personal growth, fun and recreation.

How can you manage yourself more effectively allowing you to spend more time in those areas that are most important in your life? What choices will you make? What will you say 'no' to in order to gain more balance and experience more fulfillment in life?

If you choose to live a more balanced life, you must redefine your relationship with time, to shift the emphasis from quantity to quality, from frustration to fulfillment, from lack to abundance, from pressure to peace.

Managing your time is a choice!

If you’re like most people, you probably spend a lot of time thinking about money or wealth:  how to create it, how to get more of it or how to prevent from losing it.  We seem to dedicate a great deal of time and energy to the pursuit of richness.Now more than ever seems to be the perfect time to explore the meaning of true wealth ...

The investment in yourself is the most important and lucrative investment you will ever make. When you concentrate on building a strong sense of identity, build upon self-acceptance, self-respect and self worth, your net worth will soar. You’ll be able to respond to the opportunities and challenges presented to you from a place of increasing presence, resourcefulness, courage and authenticity-even during these times of challenge and economic crisis.

On the other hand, when you let frustration, fear, anger, self-doubt run your life, you’ll disconnect from the inner resources you need and surrender to a place of hopelessness and/or helplessness. You’ll feel overwhelmed and powerless and you’ll become a victim of circumstances over which you have little or no control.

Having a high level of self-esteem is critical to your overall success, your sense of well being and personal fulfillment. The more you invest in yourself, the better you will understand your core values, your beliefs, your talents, your strengths, your weaknesses, hopes and aspirations. These are your true sources of capital. They help you determine where and when to invest more resources. Whether you are making decisions regarding your career, your work relationships, or your personal relationships, the higher your personal net worth, the clearer your choices will be.

High personal worth, or self-esteem, affords you more investment opportunities and makes you more conscious of where and when you want to spend your personal resources.  Awareness of your personal value ,and your values (think about the difference) allows you to get clear about the investments that are right for you.

"The quality of your relationships directly affects the quality of your life."

Other than investing in your relationship with your self, investing in relationships with others is a significant aspect of a fulfilled life. Personal relationships provide a great opportunity for personal growth, balance and fulfillment. They allow you to make a contribution and a difference in the lives of others. Great relationships, in turn, lead to a significant increase in your personal worth and that of others.

The rate of return you get on your relationship investments is directly related to the suitability of the investment.  Just as a wealth manager will ask you a series of questions to understand your investment profile, so should you take stock of your relationship investment portfolio:

• What is the portfolio’s current worth?
• What personal criteria do you use to determine the return on your investments? 
• In which relationships do you need to invest more of yourself?
• Are there any relationships from which you need to withdraw some of your personal funds?
• Are you paying any high 'emotional premiums' on investments that drain your personal energy?

In the currency of relationships, the most important investment you can make is the relationship you have with your self.  When your bank account is full of self-esteem, you have the capital necessary to make wise and solid investments in yourself and your relationships with others.  Building an investment portfolio rich in relationships will set the foundation for all other investments in your life.  This leads to personal satisfaction, happiness and success.