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To find yourself sometimes you need to lose yourself.

by Dieter Pauwels February 11, 2009

walkaboutYou have probably heard the saying that if you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten; meaning you’ll keep creating the same results over and over again. Sounds logical, doesn’t it?

Most people are smart enough to know what they need to do to create different results in their lives, yet they don’t seem to get themselves to actually do those things, which they already know they should. Why?
In order to do different things, you’ll have to change who you think you are (self image) and change the beliefs that are preventing you from doing the things you already know you should. Instead you get stuck in old routines, habits, beliefs and thought patterns.
We all have created these imaginary boundaries; emotional, physical and mental comfort zones and we’ll do (almost) anything to live our lives within these self-imposed boundaries.
You hold on to what you believe is true and you seek evidence to validate and support your own point of view. You continue to walk the same path that looks and feels familiar. Even when you encounter a new branch in the road – like a new opportunity - you may not notice it, and if you do, you ignore it and continue the road you are most comfortable on.
But sometimes you’ve got to lose yourself in order to find yourself, your true self. In Australia they call it ‘go walkabout’, a rite of passage when Australia's Aborigines wander in the outback bush.
Sometimes you have to challenge the beliefs you hold about yourself, the beliefs about what you’re truly capable of and what’s really possible. You have to challenge what you think is true, knowing there is always a different perspective, and start believing in what you really want.
When you expand your self-imposed boundaries, physically, emotionally and mentally, you have the opportunity to transform yourself, not in accordance with the rules and expectations of others, but guided by your own dreams and heart’s desires.
Isn’t it time to go walkabout?

How to Conquer Your Fears: Part 1 of 3

by Dieter Pauwels January 27, 2009

challenge your fearsOne of the biggest barriers we face when we seek to live the life we want is fear. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of rejection, fear of change, fear of commitment, and fear of loss are just a few of the many fears we experience. Fear is paralyzing. When you live with fear you don’t go anywhere. You end up backing away from opportunities and you unconsciously remove the things in your life that open up new possibilities and opportunities to you in the first place.

The best way to move forward in your career, your finances, your relationships, your sense of fulfillment, or any other aspect of your life, is to identify and challenge your fears. 

To do this takes a three-stage process:

1. Challenge Your Fears

Have you ever allowed fear to keep you from achieving, or even trying to achieve something you already know you want? I know I have. Within each experience of loss, rejection, failure, or hurt, there lies the opportunity to confront and challenge the fears and self-limiting beliefs you hold.

Unfortunately, most people either deny their fears, or run away from them, so they don't have to face them. This causes them to miss out on the opportunity to learn, grow and attract the things they really want in their lives.  Instead they get caught up in a pattern of procrastination, self-sabotage, and destructive behavior.

You can counteract this self-destruction by allowing yourself to become aware of your feelings.  Rather than letting your subconscious take over and act for you, when you allow yourself to feel, you gain clarity. Clarity brings forth compassion instead of judgment, and allows the energy of your heart to flow. With clarity also comes personal power and freedom of choice. You can choose to either take control of your fears or allow your fears to control you.

The choice is yours to make, but it only presents itself after you have honestly identified the fears that hold you back. To uncover the hidden fears that are keeping you from achieving, and being, everything you want, answer the following questions as honestly as possible:

  • Are you afraid of rejection, commitment, responsibility, loss, change, confrontation, or not measuring up?
  • Which fear has the most control over you in your life today?
  • What behaviors and/or habits have you developed as a means to protect yourself from this fear?
  • Who would you be without this fear? What would you be doing differently? How would you feel?

Understanding and identifying the fears and consequent behaviors that hold you back, is the first step in setting yourself free and living your life to the fullest.

"Nothing in life is to be feared.  It is only to be understood." ( Marie Curie)

How to Conquer Your Fears: Part 2 of 3 Identify Self Limiting Beliefs

How to Conquer Your Fears: Part 3 of 3 Free Yourself From Fear

About Dieter Pauwels:

Life and Career Coach Dieter PauwelsDieter Pauwels is a professional certified life, business and career coach, speaker and author, facilitating personal and organizational transformation. He works with both individuals and teams to create new possibilities, manage change and maximize their productivity and personal effectiveness.

You can visit his website at www.dieterpauwels.com or read his comments and thoughts on the impact of coaching on life and business on his blog at http://lifecoaching.dieterpauwels.com

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