You Need To Know HOW To Change

You need to have the know-how, or the means to facilitate the change you want. In other words, how do you go about the change you want to create? What is the process? What is your best personal strategy?

Even when you are totally committed to making a change, if you don't know 'how', it will be very difficult to follow through and achieve the result you desire.
 
By understanding the process of change, you can work more effectively with the process, instead of fighting or resisting it. Understanding precedes change!
 
Start with the end result in mind. Imagine for a moment that you already have created the change you want. What would that look like? What would that feel like? What would be different in your life? What would be the consequences of the change you made? Is this what you really want?
 
In order to create the best personal success strategy for you, consider the following necessary components in the process of change: 
 
Resources 

• Personal qualities:
  What inner resources (skills and/or capabilities) do you already have or need to develop in order to move forward with confidence to achieve your outcome? What other resources are available to you today that you might not have thought about?
   
• People:
  Who might be a good external resource for you? Do you know anyone who has already achieved a goal similar to yours? Enlist the help of friends, a support group, a mentor, or a professional life coach who can assist you in developing an action plan for the changes you desire.
  
  
• Objects:
  Books you can read, equipment, audio CD's or DVD's with information you need.
  
  
• Time:
  Do you have enough time to dedicate to the achievement of your goal? If not, how can you create more time? What will you have to say 'no' to, in order to make more time for what you really want.

"Be not afraid of going slowly, be afraid of standing still." 
(Chinese proverb)

Actions 
Action is about moving forward, one step at a time. We all have the urge to move forward in life. It is an urge to become more whole, to find more meaning and balance.

Think about the change or outcome you are committed to, and ask yourself, "What actions can I take today that will move me toward my desired goal?"

If the idea of taking a huge leap forward overwhelms you, you can break it down into smaller steps and more manageable tasks.

The larger the change in direction, the shorter the time it will take to come to new scenery. However, even the slightest change will take you on a different journey, if you persist. Focus and reinforcement are critical as you work toward your goal, because the slightest change in mindset can alter your course dramatically. 
 

Skills 
Perhaps you need to brush up on your skills, or acquire some new skills, such as communication skills.

Habits
What stops most people from making the change they want, are their habitual actions and thoughts. All habits accomplish something of value, otherwise they would not have become habits in the first place. But times change, and you have changed, and your current habits may no longer serve your purpose.
When you change, things will change for you!

Only you know the best strategy for making the changes you want. You are the expert of your life. Ultimately, you are the only one responsible for the decisions you make or don't make. When you don't take control of your life, don't be surprised when someone else does!

"The great thing in the world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving."
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

If you're like me, and most other people, there are things in your life that you wish were different and would like to change for the better. Although you may have had the best intentions to manifest a desired change in the past, for some reason you have not been able to successfully achieve the results you want.

Perhaps you have wanted to kick a bad habit. Or you feel you deserve a raise or promotion at work, yet something is preventing you from asking for it. Alternatively, you find yourself in a relationship that is no longer fulfilling. Maybe you have wanted to lose weight, and have tried all the miracle diets, or joined a local health club, but never shed those extra pounds. What prevents us from making the changes we desire?

Whatever the change is that you want to make, as a personal life coach I would like to challenge you to reflect for a moment on the following and important question:

"How much do you really want to change?"

Often, we try to make changes in our lives to live up to the expectations of others, or because others want us to. There is nothing wrong with the intention of trying to change for someone else, but my experience tells me that true long-lasting results must come from within.

Life Coaching Principle #1: YOU have to really WANT to change!

Dare to ask yourself this obvious question! What are the benefits of me not changing?

Sometimes people try to create change in their lives, but are not consciously aware of the positive benefits or side effects that they are getting from their current situation.

For example: Some people who label themselves as depressed, stay depressed, because of the extra emotional attention they are receiving from family and friends. The desire for attention, or the need for significance, becomes a strong enough motivator for them to stay depressed.

Think about the positive benefits of the situation you would like to change. What are some of the emotional / physical positive side effects of your current situation? How important are these benefits to you? How could you maintain the same positive side effect by making the change you desire?

Inner conflict

People often resist the change they think they want, because of an inner conflict between the values they hold. Let me illustrate with another example: Let's assume that you want to get a promotion at work but never asked for it. Now imagine for a moment that you actually did receive the promotion you wanted. What would getting a promotion mean to you? More money? And how important would that be compared to some other values that you hold? If a promotion means a better paycheck, but it also means more time away from your family, this may create inner conflict which will likely cause you to resist moving forward. What you resist will persist!

Self-limiting beliefs and thoughts

Another reason why people resist change because they hold on to limiting beliefs that prevent them from moving forward and getting the results they really want. Think for a moment about the change you want to make …

How confident are you that reaching your goal or outcome is possible for you? Do you believe that you have what it takes to make that change? In other words, do you believe that you are truly capable of reaching your desired outcome?

Now, again imagine that you already successfully achieved your outcome. How would this new situation affect you and the people around you? And, would that be okay?

By exploring some of the questions above, you may discover some limiting beliefs you hold about yourself or the situation you want to change. It is only when you become consciously aware of the internal barriers - positive side effects, conflicting values, or limiting beliefs - that you will be able to make a full personal commitment to the process of change.

"We can learn to be the catalysts for our own change." (Sarah Ban Breathnach)

This is a guest post contributed by Katheryn Rivas of online universities accredited.

The transition from a college or university setting to the real world can be a jarring one for many graduates. It's not uncommon for young people to suddenly feel plagued with doubts about their professional and personal choices now that those choices will be put to the test in a job market that can seem daunting. But this is when life coaching or career coaching can come in handy. Look at it this way: You've never had more potential than the moment you walked across the stage to get your diploma. Your professional history is free of error, and there's no reason to assume you'll be beaten down by circumstance. Career coaching can help you realize that.

For starters, ask yourself some genuinely probing questions: What do I want to do? Where do I want to go? Don't give the answers you've given throughout school; really consider them. From time to time, I ask myself two questions back to back: What am I pretending not to know, and what am I pretending not to cause? The answers to those questions can be revealing, and a great way to start focusing on the consequences of your actions.

That's what career coaching does: It helps you ask yourself the right questions so that you can begin to maximize your potential and achieve a level of satisfaction you might not have thought was possible. We aren't able to really discover our purpose until we figure out our core values and beliefs, so new college graduates need to do some soul-searching before they can begin to chart a successful course for their professional lives. Here are some of the benefits of career coaching for curious new grads:

Career guidance

Coaching is a wonderful way to focus on your true goals in life and how those goals might manifest themselves in a job. We spend so much of our time at work that it's vital to choose something that satisfies our desires and meets the standards we set for ourselves in terms of long-term goals. Career coaching doesn't just help new grads learn to be satisfied in their jobs; it's a way to redefine the entire approach to satisfaction.

Allowing yourself to succeed

This is a common problem for workers at every level, but it's especially problematic for new graduates because they're the most likely to run into opportunities that seem good but are really dangerously limiting in terms of potential growth. If you're a new graduate, you'll want to tell yourself you don't deserve a certain level of success, or that it's wrong to want it at this point in your career. To which I'd say: If that's the case, when do you think is the right time to want it? You have to allow yourself to succeed if you're ever going to reap the benefits of your education. By realigning your ideas about success and worth through career coaching, you'll be in line to achieve more.

Taking risks

Many new graduates are also uncertain about taking certain chances on their career, and that's another quick path to cheating yourself out of potential successes. Career coaching is a great way to find out what you really want to achieve and what you're willing to risk to get there. The point isn't to be reckless, but there is a value in taking calculated risks that a career coach can help you understand.

I'll say it again: You'll never again have as much potential as you do upon graduating from college, so amplify that potential with wise coaching and forward momentum. You'll look back later and thank yourself for it.

The moment you realize that you are solely responsible for our own life, for every choice and decision you make, you will realize that you can create anything you want. Why not create a masterpiece?

Creating a personal masterpiece means no more blaming others or circumstances, but fully accepting ownership of your life. Yes, you are the only one responsible for your life; your career, your talents, your weaknesses, your relationships, etc.

In order to create a masterpiece, you want to let go of the things that are not authentic. Most importantly the agreements you have made about what you think is possible and believe is true about yourself.

Taking ownership of your own life is ultimately about choosing freedom. Yet we sacrifice our personal freedom and happiness by trying to be good enough for someone else, by trying to please others, by trying to live our lives according to the rules and expectations of others.
We need to become aware about the beliefs we hold about ourselves. Only then can we challenge what we believe is true, and start believing in what we really want. The only way to reach your full potential is by becoming more aware of who we really are and not by becoming someone others want you to become.

Once you take ownership of your own life, once you become fully responsible for your life, ...

• You will experience freedom to see and hear what is really there, instead of what should be, was, or you imagine will be.
• You will have the courage to say what you think, instead of what you feel you should. 
• You will experience the freedom to feel what you really feel, instead of what you think ought to feel.
• You will begin to ask for what you want, instead of waiting for permission or trying to please others.
• You will be able to learn to face your fears, take risks, and take chances in life, instead of choosing the safe, familiar and "secure."

Instead of choosing what other people believe you should do, or living your life trying to live up to the expectations of others, you get to focus on choosing what YOU want … and that’s very liberating. Choosing your life is a freedom and tremendous privilege. Don’t take that lightly!

Dieter Pauwels is a personal life coach, career consultant speaker and author based in St. Louis, MO.
He facilitates personal and organizational transformation and works with both individuals and teams to create new possibilities, navigate change and maximize their productivity and personal effectiveness.

As a personal life coach I work with many creative, intelligent, skilled, and passionate people who, despite having clearly defined goals, are not achieving the success of which they are truly capable. It’s not that they fear failure; it’s not that they don’t have the know-how. It’s because they unconsciously find a way to sabotage themselves. They don’t allow themselves to succeed. Unable to give themselves permission to value themselves, they cannot achieve the success they deserve.

One of my life coaching clients, a young and vibrant entrepreneur in his mid-thirties, started coaching with me because he wanted to take his business to the next level. He told me that for the last couple of years his business had remained stagnant and he felt himself procrastinating to make decisions needed to grow his business. I asked him what would stop a smart and creative young man from achieving the success he really wanted. “I don’t know,” he replied. “But sometimes I feel that achieving success means that I’m selfish, and I feel really guilty about that.” When I inquired more about his feeling of guilt, he mentioned that a voice in his head kept telling him that he should just be happy with where he was, that he didn’t need any more than what he had already.

I think we all have such voices talking to us. Like bullies, they try to intimidate us and keep us from achieving the success we want. They tell us that if we want too much for ourselves we’re self-centered or selfish, or that one day others will find out that we’re not that good, or that success is for others but not us. When we listen to these voices, and it’s hard not to, things can get pretty dark inside our heads. In personal coaching we sometimes refer to these little voices that hold us back as our “gremlins.” Recognizing these little creatures for what they are is a first step toward taming them. A playful, yet effective way we can deal with them is to personify our gremlin by giving it a name, some characteristics, and perhaps a personality.

I’ve always had this little voice—this little gremlin—in my head that I call Peter Perfect. He is a smart and witty creature who always tells me that unless I can do something perfectly, I shouldn’t do it. But instead of hoping that one day he would go away, I have come to understand that in recognizing Peter Perfect for what he is, I diminish his power to run my life and hold me back.

In order to succeed in life you must first give yourself permission to succeed. This means you have to develop a positive inner dialogue that is congruent with your true intentions. To determine whether your inner thoughts are supporting or limiting you, you want to ask yourself, “Would I say the same words to a friend, a family member, or colleague who needs my support?”

Suppose you went to a store and bought a 1,000-piece jigsaw puzzle,but it didn't have a picture on the box of what the end result should look like. Would you have a much harder time putting the puzzle together than if you had a clear picture of the end result? Absolutely! You may eventually figure it out but it will take much longer than if you had a clear picture of what the end result will look like.

The same holds true for the goals, dreams and aspirations we have. In life we move towards the images we hold in our minds. When your goal is 'in-sight', things will change dramatically. If you have ever participated in a race, you know the feeling you get when the finish line is in sight. Your pace quickens, you feel the adrenaline flowing through every cell of your body, your mind is focused and you are drawn to the finish line by a force that is nearly unstoppable.

The more precisely you can visualize your goals in life, the things you would like to change, the things you would like to attract, the things you truly desire, the more clearly you will understand how to achieve them. When the goal is in sight, so is the path which will get you there. Clarity is power!

What are the pictures you hold in your mind ? Can you see all the beautiful details? Are those pictures filled with vibrant, bright colors? Are they filled with hope, wonder, love and passion? Can you already experience the excitement, the satisfaction and the feeling of fulfillment?

Picture yourself being the best you can possible be. Hold that image in your mind, day by day, moment by moment, and you will find a way to live the life that will make it real!

"Peak performers develop powerful mental images of the behavior that will lead to the desired results.They see in their mind's eye the result they want, and the actions leading to it." (Charles A. Garfield)

About your life coach:
Dieter Pauwels is professional personal coach and career consultant. His life coaching programs empower personal development to navigate change and create new possibilities in your personal life and career.

What road are you currently traveling on? Are you heading in the right direction? How do you know?
To know where you are on your journey, which direction you need to go, and how to get there, you need a compass to guide you.
Your inner compass represents your purpose in life, calibrated by your core values, principles and the beliefs that support them. You cannot always predict what the road ahead will look like but when you trust your inner compass you will always stay 'on course.'

Like a compass, your unique purpose is a strong source of guidance in times of adversity and challenge. When you come to a crossroad in your life, feel temporarily lost or sidetracked, you can always find your 'true north' when you trust your inner compass.

What is purpose?

Purpose is that special something inside you that gives your life meaning and direction. It is that special something that inspires you, excites you, and makes you feel most alive. To live your life on purpose is to experience the joy of being you in every moment, at work and in your personal life.

Purpose resonates within you at a deep emotional level. It is your responsibility and your greatest joy to discover it, live it and fulfill it.
William Barcley once said, "There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why."
Most people spend about 60% of their active life in work related activities. Research indicates that more than 50% of them are not fully engaged in their work! 

Why are so many people disenchanted with the work they do? What would be the effect in their personal lives?
Perhaps they haven't found a 'compelling' way to integrate their purpose in what they do each and every day. Maybe their purpose no longer fits with that of the company they work for. Perhaps they are so caught up with the 'busy-ness' and urgency of their lives that they make little time to discover what is really important.

Living your life on purpose gives you clarity of vision, even when fog sets in. Living on purpose demands constant reflection about the choices you make along the road. Ignite the spark of your inner purpose and unleash the immense potential within you that will take you to unimagined heights on your life's journey! 

Life purpose coaching can help you find meaning and purpose in your everyday life.

Life Coach and career coach Dieter Pauwels talks about the power of purpose in your life. Purpose is what gives your life meaning, direction, a sense of significance and fulfillment. Purpose is that special something that inspires you, excites you, and makes you feel most alive. To live your life on purpose is to experience the joy of being you in every moment, at work and in your personal life. Purpose resonates within you at a deep emotional level. It is your responsibility and your greatest joy to discover it, live it and fulfill it.

William Barcley once said, "There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why."

Most people spend about 60% of their active life in work related activities. Research indicates that more than 50% of them are not fully engaged in their work!  Why are so many people disenchanted with the work they do? What would be the effect in their personal lives? 

Perhaps they haven't found a 'compelling' way to integrate their purpose in what they do each and every day. Maybe their purpose no longer fits with that of the company they work for. Perhaps they are so caught up with the 'busy-ness' and urgency of their lives that they make little time to discover what is really important.

Living your life on purpose gives you clarity of vision, even when fog sets in. Living on purpose demands constant reflection about the choices you make along the road.

How life coaching can help.
A personal life coach helps people better identify and achieve their personal or career goals. Life coaches assist people in navigating change, overcoming obstacles and creating the results they really want. Life coaching creates the capacity for continuous improvement, development and success. A life coach relationship enables and supports you to make the best use of your own knowledge, insight, vision, creativity, awareness, determination, external resources and innate ability to learn and develop.

Some people are looking for a life coach because they want a more rewarding relationship, improve their health or find a more exciting career, while others choose a life coach for more business success or to discover their purpose and find a new sense of fulfillment or happiness in their lives with less stress and more balance.
If you’re looking to find a life coach online because you want to change or create something in your life or if you know someone who needs a coach for life, visit our life coaching website.

Telephone-based life coaching programs and career coaching services are provided but not limited to the following metropolitan areas: Kansas City, Chicago, Las Vegas, Dallas, Houston, Miami, Denver, Washington DC, Philadelphia, Atlanta, Boston, Detroit, New York, Los Angeles, Seattle, Minneapolis, San Diego, Tampa, Baltimore, Pittsburgh, Portland, San Francisco, Phoenix, Cincinnati and St. Louis. Find your life coach at dieterpauwels.com

101Ways to Reduce Stress This new e-book is intended to create an awareness of stress on physical and mental health and provide you with ready to use tools and strategies to cope more efficiently with the stresses in your life.  To exist in today’s pressure cooker world, and deal with constant change, take the challenge to liberate yourself and manage your personal stress.

Stress affects us all at one point or another, however, once it becomes a regular and uncontrollable part of your life, it should be considered serious. But what if you are “stressed out” and don’t realize it?

As a personal life coach and career consultant, I observe the symptoms often. Signs of increased stress levels can vary from insomnia, depression, anger, aches and pains and high blood pressure. These are only a few ways excess stress affects the body and mind. Alcohol, drug problems, heart attack and stroke, can occur if high stress levels are ignored.

You owe it to yourself and your loved ones to learn what self-help techniques are available to get your life back on track.

There are plenty of stress reducing self-help tips, strategies and techniques to choose from in my e-book. They are economical, easy to use and have tremendous potential to reduce the stress in your life. You can read a few tips before you start your day, or keep them at your bedside and implant them in your mind before retiring at night.  Implement the tips, thoughts and life coaching strategies that pertain to your situation when the opportunity arises, or create your own opportunity to reduce the stresses in your life.

Living in a world without any stress at all would be very dull.  Once you understand your own stress patterns and have learned ways to manage them, your health and disposition will improve.

Get your copy at 101 Ways To Reduce Stress

In this video,St. Louis based life coach and career consultant Dieter Pauwels talks about the importance of understanding and living your core values to attract more of the life experiences you seek.

Life Coaching Core Values from Dieter Pauwels on Vimeo.

In 1937, during the Great Depression, Napoleon Hill wrote “Think and Grow Rich” – one of the best books ever written on the subject of personal development and success. Napoleon Hill has inspired millions of people and has been a major influence in the work of today’s biggest motivational speakers and coaches, including Steven Covey and Anthony Robbins.

In his book, Napoleon Hill discusses eleven traits of successful leaders. Not only are these leadership characteristics essential in any professional leadership role, more importantly, they can serve you as great points of reference in your personal life. You are the leader of your own life. You shape your destiny based on the choices and decisions you make each and every day.

Keep this list in mind as you navigate through your own life’s journey. These cornerstone qualities will heighten your awareness and encourage you to assume full responsibility for your life and become the leader you were meant to be.

Life Coaching Questions:

As you read through the list below, ask yourself the following questions:

• Which leadership qualities am I consciously expressing in my daily life?
  
• What personal qualities are not in alignment with my current lifestyle?
  
• What leadership traits are currently not being expressed in my life? What is preventing me from integrating them into my life? How can I become a better steward of my own life?
  
• What am I committed to? What choices will I make?

Here are the eleven leadership traits as discussed by Napoleon Hill.

1. Unwavering courage

2. Self control

3. A keen sense of justice

4. Definiteness of decision

5. Definiteness of plans

6. Doing more than one is paid for

7. A pleasing personality

8. Sympathy and understanding

9. Mastery of detail

10. Willingness to assume full responsibility

11. Cooperation

In this video, St. Louis life coach and career consultant Dieter Pauwels talks with Christine Buck about the Power of Intention on KPLR11 in St. Louis. Setting your intent is a powerful force for co-creating your own reality and attracting certain experiences and outcomes in your life. If you want to have a better job, a different career, or a more fulfilling relationship, it starts with setting and stating your intention.

The Power of Intention from Dieter Pauwels on Vimeo.

life coach,power of intention,life coaching

The launch of News 11 at Noon on April 6 marked a new venture into the daytime news market for the station. Anchored by KPLR's well respected news veteran Christine Buck, the one-hour program highlights local news, national headlines, live breaking news, weather and daily features. Christine Buck, who has been with the station for over 30 years has been honored and recognized for her work as well as her community involvement.

Joining Christine Buck each day on News 11 at Noon is Chief Meteorologist, John Fuller, who provides in-depth weather reports as well as news features on a regular basis. Fuller, who has been with KPLR-TV since November 2008, brings a loyal following from his many years as a popular meteorologist in the market.

Life and Career Coach, Dieter Pauwels will appear every Friday on KPLR-TV's News 11 at Noon. You can watch the daily highlights of each show at http://www.cw11tv.com/news/noon_show

We live in a world with tremendous possibilities, endless opportunities and more choices than during any other time in history.

With the choices and freedoms we enjoy, come a variety of challenges. The choices we make are not always positive. In fact, some of them can be self-destructive.

Choices bring with them increased responsibilities, challenges and changes. In the face of the myriad of options we have, our challenge is to make decisions that will advance ourselves, our communities, and our world.

Change and challenge often combined leave us in dynamic, fast paced and complex situations that we are not always prepared to deal with. Change, and the challenge of dealing with it, creates anxiety, discomfort and a feeling of uncertainty among many of us.

Dieter Pauwels is a life career coach, speaker and author based in St. Louis, MO.
He facilitates personal and organizational transformation and works with both individuals and teams to create new possibilities, navigate change and maximize their productivity and personal effectiveness. 

If you're like me, and most other people, there are things in your life that you wish were different and would like to change for the better. Although you may have had the best intentions to change in the past, for some reason you have not been able to successfully achieve the results you want.

Perhaps you have wanted to kick a bad habit. Or you feel you deserve a raise or promotion at work, yet something is preventing you from asking for it. Alternatively, you find yourself in a relationship that is no longer fulfilling. Maybe you have wanted to lose weight, and have tried all the miracle diets, or joined a local health club, but never shed those extra pounds.

What could prevent you from making the changes you desire?

1. Positive side effects 

Sometimes you may try to create change in your life, but you are not consciously aware of the positive benefits or side effects that you are getting from your current situation.

Some people who label themselves as depressed, stay depressed, because of the extra emotional attention they are receiving from family and friends. The desire for attention, or the need for significance, becomes a strong enough motivator for them to stay depressed.

Think about the positive benefits of the situation you would like to change. What are some of the emotional, mental or physical positive side effects of your current situation? How important are these benefits to you? How could you maintain the same positive side effect by making the change you desire?

2. Inner conflict

Sometimes you may resist the change you think you want, because of an inner conflict between the values you hold.
 
Values are basically ideals that are important to you in your life. They are usually expressed in abstract terms such as success, respect, freedom, health, love, loyalty, honesty, integrity and so forth.
 
Let's assume that you want to get a promotion at work but never asked for it.
 
Now imagine for a moment that you actually did receive the promotion you wanted. What would getting a promotion mean to you? More money? And how important would that be compared to some other values that you hold? 
 
If a promotion means a better paycheck, but it also means more time away from your family, this may create inner conflict which will likely cause you to resist moving forward. What you resist will persist!

3. Self-limiting beliefs and thoughts
 

Another reason why you might resist change is because t you’re holding on to limiting or outdated beliefs that prevent you from moving forward and getting the results you really want.
 
Think about the change you want to make …
 
How confident are you that reaching your goal or outcome is possible for you? Do you believe that you have what it takes to make that change? In other words, do you believe that you are truly capable of getting what you want? Do you believe you are deserving of the change you want?

Now, again imagine that you already successfully achieved your outcome. How would this new situation affect you and the people around you? And, would that be okay? 
 
By exploring some of the questions above, you may discover some limiting beliefs you hold about yourself or the situation you want to change. 

It is only when you become consciously aware of the internal barriers - positive side effects, conflicting values or limiting beliefs - that you will be able to make a full personal commitment to the process of change.

What road are you currently traveling on? Are you heading in the right direction? How do you know?  Explorers use a compass to guide them. We have all been blessed with an inner compass to guide us on our journey through life as well.

Your inner compass is your life’s purpose. It is calibrated by your core values and principles and the beliefs that support them. You cannot always predict what the road ahead will look like, but when you trust your inner compass you will always stay 'on course.'

Like a compass, your unique purpose is a strong source of guidance in times of adversity and challenge. When you come to a crossroad in your life, feel temporarily lost or sidetracked, you can always find your 'true north' when you are willing and able to trust your inner compass.

The purpose that guides you is that special something inside, that gives your life meaning and direction. It inspires you, excites you, and makes you feel most alive. When you embrace your purpose, you uncover your passion.  You become aware of the burning desire that smolders deep within you.

Your purpose shows you what you should do; your passion ignites the spark within you and creates the energy you need to pursue it. 

Living a life of purpose and passion is one of great joy. Because your purpose resonates within you at such a deep emotional level, it is your responsibility and your greatest joy to discover it, live it and fulfill it. When you do, you find a life filled with energy and vibrancy. 

William Barcley once said, "There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why."

The most compelling reason to find your purpose and passion in life is so you can integrate them with the work you do.  So many people are disenchanted with their jobs, yet work encompasses about 60% of our active life. If you find a way to combine your purpose and passion with your career, you will reap boundless rewards in terms of personal and professional satisfaction, fulfillment, and productiveness.

When you are passionate about what you do, you have an advantage that is nearly impossible to overcome. Passion is what makes things possible which would otherwise be considered impossible. Living your life on purpose gives you clarity of vision, even when fog sets in. The combination of the two is what enables you to face adversity and not let obstacles and challenges sway you from your course.

Living on purpose and with passion demands constant reflection about the choices you make along the road.  You should continuously ask yourself if what you are doing is what you truly want to be doing. These questions will get you started:

• What is your purpose in life? What were you put on earth to accomplish?
  
• What are you passionate about?  What one thing gets you out of bed even on the dreariest of mornings?
  
• How does your career choice reflect your life’s purpose? If it doesn’t, what can you do to remedy the situation?
  
• What in your work life are you passionate about?  If you aren’t passionate about anything at work, why are you there?
  
• How do you fulfill your purpose and passion during non-working hours? Are there ways to integrate these activities into your work?  Can you think of a way to earn a living while pursing the things that make you the happiest?

Somewhere within you is an inner purpose, a burning desire and a passion ready to be ignited! Listen to your inner voice for clues to those things that make you feel most alive, and pursue them passionately. When you find your purpose, you will unleash the immense potential within you that will take you to unimagined heights on your life's journey! Enjoy the road ahead ... on purpose!

About Dieter Pauwels:

Dieter Pauwels is a professional certified life, business and career coach, speaker and author, facilitating personal and organizational transformation. He works with both individuals and teams to create new possibilities, manage change and maximize their productivity and personal effectiveness.

You can visit his life and business coaching website at or read his comments and thoughts on the impact of coaching on life and business on this blog.
 

Throughout your life’s experiences, you accumulate assumptions, accomplishments, habits, failures, judgments, opinions, beliefs and values. You have learned to define your sense of self based on these collected experiences, judgments, opinions and beliefs. They become the filter through which you see the world and determine how you experience your life. They also become the fabric of your perceived identity. When something threatens your sense of self, you adopt fear as a natural defense mechanism.

Fear is an emotional reaction to a projected and perceived loss or a change in the image your hold about yourself.  Your fears are a direct reflection of your most dominant thoughts, feelings and emotions that you associate with a future event.

The more you identify  - who you are - with, for example a job, a relationship, or making a certain amount of money, the more likely you will experience fear, anxiety and the need to control when circumstances change.

Other self sabotaging behaviors in the face of fear include procrastination, lack of focus, anger or resentment and pleasing others.

Free yourself from fear!
 
1) Identify the things you fear the most.

I’m afraid that …
I’m afraid to ….
I feel scared when …

2) Discover the underlying core fear.

Core human fears include commitment, responsibility, change, loss, confrontation, not measuring up and rejection.

What does your most dominant fear tell you about yourself and how you view and perceive the world around you? Identify any erroneous or limiting beliefs or assumptions about yourself. Listen to what you’re telling yourself, what’s your inner critic telling you?

3) Ask yourself :"Who would I be without that fear?"

During a life coaching conversation, a coaching client expressed her fear of getting hurt again in personal relationships. I asked her the following question: “Who would you be without that fear?"

She responded, "A more confident person who is open to new possibilities and willing to take chances."
Next I asked her, "What would be the opposite of the fear of being hurt?"
She responded: "The freedom to love and be loved."
"And isn't that what you really want?" I asked.

4) Focus on what you truly want.

The moment you focus on what you really want, instead of what you don't want, your mental energy is free to move you forward.  You no longer have to waste any resources thinking about the stuff you no longer want in your life. 

Some inner resources you want to draw on to create the results you desire, and free yourself from fear include self confidence, trust, commitment, creativity, flexibility, honesty, and patience and love. 

5) Adopt empowering beliefs that support what you really want.

In order to access these resources however, requires new and empowering beliefs.  Your beliefs should be positive and supportive of the changes you want to make, or the things you want to achieve.

When you change your beliefs, you change your expectations. When your expectations change, your attitude and consequent behavior changes!

"Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of every fear is a freedom."  
(Marilyn Ferguson)

Here are some techniques to use to help you shift your focus to supportive and positive beliefs: 

• Think of someone who could be a mentor to you. This person could be a friend, a parent, a spiritual leader, an author, co-worker, or anyone else who represents those inner resources and qualities that you seek.
  
• Ask yourself what this person believes. Then ask them directly what their beliefs are that help them to be successful. Give yourself the advice you think he or she would give you regarding your fears and limiting beliefs.

Realize that there is a causal relationship between the beliefs you hold about reality and the real events that just "seem" to happen to you.  You live your beliefs and therefore you seek the evidence to support them!

Ultimately, you are responsible for the changes you make in your life. The good news is that you already have the inner qualities and resources you need to make the changes you want. Accessing them requires confronting your fears, challenging your self-limiting beliefs, and then shifting your focus to move forward.  Once the choice to move forward opens up to you, seize the opportunity and choose freedom over fear!

About Dieter Pauwels:

Dieter Pauwels is a professional certified life, business and career coach, speaker and author, facilitating personal and organizational transformation. He works with both individuals and teams to create new possibilities, manage change and maximize their productivity and personal effectiveness.

You can visit his website at www.dieterpauwels.com or read his comments and thoughts on the impact of coaching on life and business on his blog at http://lifecoaching.dieterpauwels.com
 

One of the biggest barriers we face when we seek to live the life we want is fear. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of rejection, fear of change, fear of commitment, and fear of loss are just a few of the many fears we experience. Fear is paralyzing. When you live with fear you don’t go anywhere. You end up backing away from opportunities and you unconsciously remove the things in your life that open up new possibilities and opportunities to you in the first place.

The best way to move forward in your career, your finances, your relationships, your sense of fulfillment, or any other aspect of your life, is to identify and challenge your fears. 

To do this takes a three-stage process:

1. Challenge Your Fears

Have you ever allowed fear to keep you from achieving, or even trying to achieve something you already know you want? I know I have. Within each experience of loss, rejection, failure, or hurt, there lies the opportunity to confront and challenge the fears and self-limiting beliefs you hold.

Unfortunately, most people either deny their fears, or run away from them, so they don't have to face them. This causes them to miss out on the opportunity to learn, grow and attract the things they really want in their lives.  Instead they get caught up in a pattern of procrastination, self-sabotage, and destructive behavior.

You can counteract this self-destruction by allowing yourself to become aware of your feelings.  Rather than letting your subconscious take over and act for you, when you allow yourself to feel, you gain clarity. Clarity brings forth compassion instead of judgment, and allows the energy of your heart to flow. With clarity also comes personal power and freedom of choice. You can choose to either take control of your fears or allow your fears to control you.

The choice is yours to make, but it only presents itself after you have honestly identified the fears that hold you back. To uncover the hidden fears that are keeping you from achieving, and being, everything you want, answer the following questions as honestly as possible:

• Are you afraid of rejection, commitment, responsibility, loss, change, confrontation, or not measuring up?
  
• Which fear has the most control over you in your life today?
  
• What behaviors and/or habits have you developed as a means to protect yourself from this fear?
  
• Who would you be without this fear? What would you be doing differently? How would you feel?

Understanding and identifying the fears and consequent behaviors that hold you back, is the first step in setting yourself free and living your life to the fullest.

"Nothing in life is to be feared.  It is only to be understood." ( Marie Curie)

How to Conquer Your Fears: Part 2 of 3 Identify Self Limiting Beliefs

How to Conquer Your Fears: Part 3 of 3 Free Yourself From Fear

About Dieter Pauwels:

Dieter Pauwels is a professional certified life, business and career coach, speaker and author, facilitating personal and organizational transformation. He works with both individuals and teams to create new possibilities, manage change and maximize their productivity and personal effectiveness.

You can visit his website at www.dieterpauwels.com or read his comments and thoughts on the impact of coaching on life and business on his blog at http://lifecoaching.dieterpauwels.com

As you enter the New Year, I invite you to take a step back and look at your life as it is today, get a sense of where you are going and where your priorities lie. 

The following ten life coaching questions will help keep you on track moving forward. They will help you to refocus in those moments when you feel uncertain about what you’re doing and why. They will provide guidance, direction and support when you feel that certain events are controlling you.

Some of these powerful questions can produce that ‘breakthrough moment’ when you understand a situation more clearly from a new or different perspective. Other questions invite introspection and will lead to a greater self awareness, more creativity, additional solutions and new insights.

Question # 10: "How am I spending my time?"
How you choose to spend your time is how you spend your life. How can you manage yourself more effectively allowing you to spend more time in those areas that are most important in your life? What choices will you make? [Read More]

Question # 9: "What Would I Do If I Knew I Couldn't Fail?"
The only way to create results in your life is by taking action. Realize that, succeed or fail, you will produce results from which you will learn. Don’t be afraid of failure; be afraid of not taking action! [Read more]

Question # 8: "Who Am I becoming?"
How satisfied are you with the person you are becoming? What kind of person do you see yourself becoming in the New Year? If you want to have more and experience more in life, you have to become more. [Read more]

Question # 7: "What Am I Tolerating?"
What have you been tolerating at work, at home or in your social environment in the past year? What are the things you wish would resolve themselves somehow? Here are some life coaching tips to help you eliminate the things that you no longer want in your life. [Read more]

Question # 6: "Where Do I Focus My Attention?"
Your mind cannot tell the difference between something you think about or focus on that you do want, and the stuff you think about that you don’t want. Your mind is a very effective goal seeking mechanism and seeks to create precisely what you focus on. The key is to direct your focus on the goals and experiences that you do want in your life. [Read more]

Question # 5: "How Am I Using My Talents?
When you talk with people who have achieved a high level of success in their lives, you’ll find that they have found ways to incorporate their passions and talents into their daily activities. They also experience more fulfillment and balance because they intentionally played to their talents. Do you know what your talents are? How do you go about discovering some of your talents or natural abilities? [Read more]

Question # 4: "Who Do I spend My Time With?
The people you spend most of your time with have a strong influence on you. When you are surrounded by negative or angry people, you will absorb some of their negativity or anger. When you spend time with people who inspire you, support you and believe in you, their positive energy will boost your motivation, self-confidence and inner strength.[Read more]

Question # 3: "How Do I Honor My Core Values?"
Your core values express the essence of who you are. Although you may share similar values with others, you have a unique set of values. Many of the important decisions that you make, and the actions you take, are based on the values that you hold. Your values, together with the beliefs that support them, are an energetic driving force and provide meaning and direction in your life.[Read more]

Question # 2: "What Do I Want?"
Think of yourself as the majority shareholder in your life. What are some of the strategic decisions that will help you grow and flourish in the New Year? What will you vote "yes" for in your life? What will you vote "no" for? Choose, decide, take action, and make 2009 your best year ever! [Read more]

Question # 1: "How Am I Committed?"
Why is it that we tell ourselves we want certain things but we don’t take action? We might have the best of intentions to make certain changes in our lives, yet we do not follow through on our resolutions? Does that mean we are lazy or undisciplined? Are we afraid of failure? Are we holding on to limiting beliefs about ourselves? We get frustrated when we think and say we are committed to wanting something for ourselves, but no action follows that voice of commitment. [Read more]

Question # 1: "How Am I Committed?"

Why is it that we tell ourselves we want certain things but we don’t take action? We might have the best of intentions to make certain changes in our lives, yet we do not follow through on our resolutions? Does that mean we are lazy or undisciplined? Are we afraid of failure? Are we holding on to limiting beliefs about ourselves? We get frustrated when we think and say we are committed to wanting something for ourselves, but no action follows that voice of commitment.

When you fully commit to something, action always follows thought. There is no question, no debate, no doubt or struggle. You don’t wonder whether or not you will take action or not. Commitment goes beyond making a choice. I have never met a mother who had to think about and decide whether or not to feed her baby. People gain a mysterious strength and resolve when they make a commitment.

Commitment is a unique personal experience. As a personal coach I can offer you many possible commitment strategies, yet the best personal style of commitment comes from a deep emotional awareness within yourself. Often our commitments are invisible to us and we don’t think about them as commitments, it is what we do naturally. And that’s the whole point.

Recall a time in your life when you were committed to something. You were so deeply committed that there was no doubt in your mind, and taking action was almost automatic and effortless. Take some time to answer the following questions to discover the underlying structure of your own personal commitment strategy.

• When and where were you committed? Was it a commitment you made to yourself or others? Were there any external influences?
  
• What were some of the actions you took?
   
• How did you go about taking action? What was your strategy for taking action?  Did you write down your goal or commitment? Did you visualize your achievements? Did you call a friend or work with a personal life coach? What skills or capabilities did you use?
  
• What were some of the emotional reasons why you were committed? Reflect on the values and beliefs that motivated you to take action and follow through on your commitment.
  
• How did you benefit from taking action? What was the cost of not taking action at all?
  
• How did you think and feel about yourself as a person? Maybe you felt like a successful individual or a compassionate person.
  
• How did your commitment impact others?

Understanding and modeling your personal commitment strategy will help you create resolve to meet your New Year’s resolutions.

To your success in 2009!

Question # 10: "How am I spending my time?"
Question # 9: "What Would I Do If I Knew I Couldn't Fail?"
Question # 8: "Who Am I becoming?"
Question # 7: "What Am I Tolerating?"
Question # 6: "Where Do I Focus My Attention?"
Question # 5: "How Am I Using My Talents?
Question # 4: "Who Do I spend My Time With?
Question # 3: "How Do I Honor My Core Values?"
Question # 2: "What Do I Want?"
Question # 1: "How Am I Committed?"