In his book “The Big Leap”, author Garry Hendricks writes that each of us has an inner thermostat setting that determines how much love, success, and creativity we allow ourselves to enjoy. When we exceed our inner thermostat setting, we will often do something to sabotage ourselves, causing us to drop back into the old, familiar zone where we feel secure.

Does this sound familiar?

As a personal life strategy coach I have found that what influences your inner thermostat setting the most are the beliefs you hold about yourself. Some of these beliefs are limiting - even erroneous -  and hold you back from enjoying all the love, financial abundance, and creativity that’s rightfully yours.

But unless you make a concerted effort and commitment to change your inner thermostat setting will remain the same, your past story will continue into the present and beyond.

But what if you could make the desired changes you seek in your personal life or career, would you? What if you would choose, decide, take action and realize your goals? What would the payoff be if you really made this happen? How valuable would that be?

What would that be worth to you? How would that change your life's situation?

Of course this possibility would be tremendously valuable  - not only in terms of financial gain, but in terms of happiness, emotional health, personal growth, and personal success.

Stop sabotaging yourself and unlock your true potential. Schedule a complimentary coaching strategy session today and learn more about how life coaching may benefit your current life or career situation.

If life were a game, how can you win?
Like every game, there are a certain set of rules that must be followed.  There are points to score.  Penalties to avoid.  And if you want to be really successful at the game, then you want to study and understand all the rules.

But when it comes to winning in the game of life, just what are the rules – and what happens when we don’t choose to play by them?
The simple answer is that there is no one set of rules that everyone has to follow to win at life.  Sure, we may have cultural, legal and even social rules, but these pale in comparison to the rules of leading a successful and fulfilling life.  These rules of the game are a bit harder to figure out, simply because these rules are made – and can be broken – by you.

Let’s face it: when we live by someone else’s rules, we can never truly enjoy a rewarding personal and professional life.  For example, if you’re continually striving to live by the rules of someone who’s been a major success in your field or industry, then you’ll never get the opportunity to experience what it’s like to trail-blaze your own path.  You’re living life by someone else’s game rules – and because you’re not that person, you’re setting yourself up to lose.

Let’s look at an example of someone who’s certainly living by his own set of rules: Charlie Sheen.  No matter what your opinion may be about him, there’s no denying that he makes and succeeds at his own game.  When CBS booted him off of his wildly successful sitcom "Two and a Half Men," he didn’t beg for them to take him back.  Instead, he made a different set of rules by launching an extremely popular viral video channel and comedy tour worth millions of dollars.  His catchphrases are so beloved that they’ve even made their way into our cultural zeitgeist ("winning" and "tiger blood" are a few that come to mind). 

Now how does this relate to our personal lives?  While you don’t have to go to the extent of Charlie Sheen (in fact, as a personal life coach I wouldn’t recommend it), it’s important to define success on your own terms, not others.  Playing by another person’s set of rules is tiring – after all, no game is enjoyable when you can’t possibly win at it. 

By changing the rules of the game – or playing a different game altogether – you’re already on a path to winning at the game of life.

In times of change and adversity, we are all challenged to make choices and to make decisions. You may not be responsible for the circumstances or changes, like the breakdown of our financial system, but you are responsible for the decisions you make within those circumstances.

During his inaugural speech in January of 1961 John Kennedy said, “Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country," These words not only challenged a generation, it also ignited a spirit of shared interest and selflessness that made us feel like we could belong to something bigger than ourselves.

Today’s obstacles and challenges are our calls to action. You can either accept that calling and take full responsibility for your actions, or you can choose to ignore it.

Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich, once said that every adversity, every failure, and every heartbreak, carries with it the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit.

I want you to think about a time in your life, or a meaningful moment when you faced adversity or a personal challenge. Perhaps it was the loss of a loved one, the breakdown of a relationship, conflict with a coworker, struggling with a career decision….

Whatever the situation is that you are thinking about right now, I suspect it was a moment when you learned something significant about yourself – yet the lesson didn't come until later. If the situation was significant enough for you to recall just now, then you likely came through the ordeal knowing more about who you are and what you are really capable of. That's the beauty of adversity that so many people fail to embrace.

Think again about that meaningful moment, "What were some of the emotions and feelings you experienced leading up to it? Perhaps you felt discomfort, anxiety, doubt, inner turmoil, panic, fear, despair or confusion… Not the kind of emotions we associate with positively.

So the question is, "What is it that makes these moments so valuable and important, so powerful that we should actually want to attract these kinds of experiences in our lives?"

The answer lies in what happens after these 'growth' or change experiences. Looking back, what were some of the emotions and feelings you experienced afterwards? Perhaps you felt more powerful and confident? Maybe you developed some new insights, built a higher self-esteem, a greater team spirit, more self-confidence or more serenity?

Aren't these the experiences that make life worth living? Aren't these the moments of truth that define us as people, as a community, as an organization? You better believe it.

The challenges are opportunities for you to break out of your cocoon and let go of the limiting beliefs and fears that are blocking you. Just as a caterpillar must escape its cocoon to grow and become the butterfly it was meant to be, so too you must look for opportunity in those experiences that challenge you to break free from past habits, thoughts, reactions, and ideas. One cannot become a butterfly by remaining a caterpillar! And once you experience life as a butterfly, you will never want to go back to being a caterpillar.

My experiences working as a professional life coach with many people going through intense periods of change, tell me that we should welcome challenges and obstacles as opportunities to grow.

I'm convinced that it is through times of change and adversity that we have an opportunity to reconnect with our true selves, that we find meaning and direction in what we do, and then use our new found knowledge to serve the greater good.

Think about the stagnation you'd encounter if everything were to stay the same, your company, your job, the people you work with, the environment – you would certainly have certainty and you would certainly know what to expect, but you would almost certainly be bored, unproductive, and uncreative.

The price of certainty seems much too high to pay. Change, on the other hand, can exhilarate you, it can motivate you, it can inspire you – and yes, it can scare you, but you don't have to let it defeat you.

Change is inevitable but to grow from it is a personal choice!

You can choose to withdraw or reconnect. If you choose to reconnect, you are choosing to create something that can be better and more successful than ever before.

The choice is yours alone to make!

Do you ever make assumptions based on what you think you know will likely happen? Do you ever get caught up in the habit of predicting things?

One of the reasons we make assumptions is because we have a constant desire to explain things, so they fit within our personal view of life. We like to explain things based on what we know, and what we know is influenced by our experiences, opinions and beliefs.

In order to make things fit within our personal boundaries, and therefore validate our own point of view, we often fill in the blanks and get into a habit of making assumptions. We second guess and predict what will happen, what people will do or say.

We feel better saying, "This is what will happen", or "That's how it is", even if it isn't completely true. Have you ever made assumptions about something or someone only to find out later that the assumptions you made weren't true?

We expect that someone will do this or that because it is what you would do. We develop concepts about how things are and construct opinions on just about everything.

We often assume that other people share the same perception as we do. Our expectations, based on the assumptions we make, are often at the core of the conflicts and drama we experience at work and in our personal relationships. Our attachment to how things are 'supposed to be' can cause hurt feelings, dis-ease and damaged relationships.

If you catch yourself in the habit of making assumptions, let go of this need to control, and stop filling in the blanks. Notice and respect how valuable and unique each personal view really is.

Communicate with others as clearly as you can by asking better questions and expressing what you really want. What someone else thinks is true, might surprise and enlighten you!

I believe we should all do work that matters. Today, we all put in too many hours, and accumulate too much stress, to work at something that isn't personally engaging and rewarding.Too many people stay in unsatisfying and unfulfilling jobs, simply because it provides the material definition of success. All too often, our sense of who we are is defined by the work we do.
 
More and more people are waking up to the fact that we need to get back to what really matters, what really will have an impact on our personal sense of safety, security, and well-being.  Increasingly people everywhere are starting to reevaluate their life's direction.

In times of change or any other adversity, whether it is a personal change, a business or career transition, people in general tend to respond in two different ways: they withdraw for self preservation, or they face their fear of change head on.

The interesting thing however, is that both responses are motivated by the same need - the need we all have for a sense of certainty in our lives.

Change, by definition, is uncertain and our reaction to change reflects a desperate need to gain a bit of control.
Whatever the change you are facing, you can choose to deal with it head-on, or head in the sand.
 
Those who choose the head in the sand approach when faced with adversity, are the people who shut down and withdraw themselves. They do this in order to protect themselves.Their feelings of frustration, anger, and anxiety are too much to cope with all at once, so they retreat.
Unfortunately their flight causes them to disconnect, not just from themselves and their personal needs, but from others and the world around them as well. This disconnection is a fear reaction, and if you run away from fear, you miss the opportunity to learn, to grow and to attract the things you really want in your life.

Fear of change is what prompts self-limiting behaviors and thoughts, rather than seize the opportunity to learn from the challenge and seek new truths about ourselves.

A much more productive and positive reaction to changes and challenges is to face the fear head on.  Rather than disconnect, this is a time to reconnect with the person you really are - at your core. Re-ignite your passion and meet face your challenges from a place of authenticity, resourcefulness and centeredness.
 
When you are able to see every challenge as an opportunity to grow and to contribute, you consciously expand your sense of self. You are able to tap into your inner resources and draw out the very best of yourself and others.

In times of change and adversity, we are all challenged to make choices and to make decisions. You may not be responsible for the circumstances or changes in your life, but you are responsible for the decisions you make within those circumstances.

You can choose to withdraw or reconnect - if you choose to reconnect, you are choosing to create something that can be better and more successful than ever before. The choice is yours alone to make!