What does it mean to be congruent?
Congruency is derived from the Latin verb 'congruere', which means 'to meet together' or 'to agree'.
Being congruent is when, who you are (values and beliefs), what you say, and what you do is in agreement or harmony.
At a deeper level, personal congruency exists when your true desires (intention), your thoughts (attention), feelings and actions are aligned with your core values. Only then can you move toward balance in your life and experience more joy, fun and fulfillment. Congruence is about honoring the deeper truth within you.
When your heart wants to go one direction, and your mind goes into a different direction, then the body gets stuck in the middle. This causes stress, inner turmoil and disease.
- In what areas of your life do you feel that you are not being congruent?
- Where do you experience stress or inner conflict?
- When are you not being true to yourself? What is missing?
- What values are being violated?
- What would you like to have more of in your life? What would you need to let go of?
How can we go about becoming more congruent? Consider the following life coaching tips.
First, become mindful of your intentions.
Your energy in life is directed by your intentions, which create the reality you experience. When you have conflicting intentions, you will experience conflicting thoughts, which result in stress and anxiety. Every desire to change in your life starts with the intention to do so.
Setting your intent is very different than just wishing or wanting something. Notice the profound difference between, "I wish I could change this", and "I intend to change this."
Second, pay attention to your most dominant thoughts.
The structure of your thoughts is revealed through your internal dialog. You can dramatically change the quality of your life when you develop inner voices that serve and support your true intentions. A simple way to find out whether or not your inner thoughts are supporting or limiting you, ask yourself: "Would I say the same words to a friend, family member or a colleague who needs my support?"
Third, the truth is often found in the body.
Have you ever had a knot in your stomach, or experienced butterflies in your stomach? Or perhaps you have felt uncomfortable being around certain people?
Have you ever made a decision with your head when your body was telling you something different? What was the result?
During my life coaching conversations,I often ask my coaching clients to get out of their head and into their body. I would ask questions like: "What is your gut telling you?", or "What does your heart tell you about this?" The answers are often very insightful and liberating!
Choose to be congruent, rather than consistent!