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Ten Life Coaching Questions To Ask Yourself Into the New Year (1/10)

by Dieter Pauwels January 1, 2009

Question # 1: "How Am I Committed?"

Why is it that we tell ourselves we want certain things but we don’t take action? We might have the best of intentions to make certain changes in our lives, yet we do not follow through on our resolutions? Does that mean we are lazy or undisciplined? Are we afraid of failure? Are we holding on to limiting beliefs about ourselves? We get frustrated when we think and say we are committed to wanting something for ourselves, but no action follows that voice of commitment.

When you fully commit to something, action always follows thought. There is no question, no debate, no doubt or struggle. You don’t wonder whether or not you will take action or not. Commitment goes beyond making a choice. I have never met a mother who had to think about and decide whether or not to feed her baby. People gain a mysterious strength and resolve when they make a commitment.

Commitment is a unique personal experience. As a personal coach I can offer you many possible commitment strategies, yet the best personal style of commitment comes from a deep emotional awareness within yourself. Often our commitments are invisible to us and we don’t think about them as commitments, it is what we do naturally. And that’s the whole point.

Recall a time in your life when you were committed to something. You were so deeply committed that there was no doubt in your mind, and taking action was almost automatic and effortless. Take some time to answer the following questions to discover the underlying structure of your own personal commitment strategy.

  • When and where were you committed? Was it a commitment you made to yourself or others? Were there any external influences?
  • What were some of the actions you took?
     
  • How did you go about taking action? What was your strategy for taking action?  Did you write down your goal or commitment? Did you visualize your achievements? Did you call a friend or work with a personal life coach? What skills or capabilities did you use?
  • What were some of the emotional reasons why you were committed? Reflect on the values and beliefs that motivated you to take action and follow through on your commitment.
  • How did you benefit from taking action? What was the cost of not taking action at all?
  • How did you think and feel about yourself as a person? Maybe you felt like a successful individual or a compassionate person.
  • How did your commitment impact others?

Understanding and modeling your personal commitment strategy will help you create resolve to meet your New Year’s resolutions.

To your success in 2009!

 

 

 

Question # 10: "How am I spending my time?"
Question # 9: "What Would I Do If I Knew I Couldn't Fail?"
Question # 8: "Who Am I becoming?"
Question # 7: "What Am I Tolerating?"
Question # 6: "Where Do I Focus My Attention?"
Question # 5: "How Am I Using My Talents?
Question # 4: "Who Do I spend My Time With?
Question # 3: "How Do I Honor My Core Values?"

Question # 2: "What Do I Want?"
Question # 1: "How Am I Committed?"

 

Ten Life Coaching Questions To Ask Yourself Into the New Year (7/10)

by Dieter Pauwels December 26, 2008

Question # 7: "What Am I Tolerating?"

What are some of the things you have been putting up with in your life? What have you been tolerating at work, at home or in your social environment in the past year? What are the things you wish would resolve themselves somehow? 

Sometimes tolerations show up as minor inconveniences such as a messy desk, a squeaking door or a friend who always shows up late for appointments. Other tolerations are more serious, such as mental or physical abuse or a controlling or disrespectful boss.

Sometimes it is easier to ignore your 'tolerations' rather than to take the necessary action to clean them up. Allowing 'tolerations' to hang around in your life will drain your energy, try your patience and show up under the form of stress and anxiety. They can chip away at your self-esteem, confidence and enthusiasm.

Here are a few life coaching tips to help with the process:

  • Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with. Ask yourself what each is costing you in terms of energy, confidence and enthusiasm?
  • Resolve to take action. The decision to act on 'tolerations' is very liberating and will improve the quality of your life.
  • Set target dates and make time in your schedule to overcome your 'tolerations'.
  • Seek the support from friends, family or a personal coach to keep you focused and stay on track.

Living a life you want not only means choosing the things you want, but also eliminating the things that are hanging around in your life that you no longer want.

Now is the perfect time to do some personal housecleaning, and remove some of the clutter around your house, at work or in your relationships.

When you resolve to stop putting up, you will find a renewed sense of freedom and balance in your life.

Question # 10: "How am I spending my time?"
Question # 9: "What Would I Do If I Knew I Couldn’t Fail?"
Question # 8: "Who Am I becoming?"

2009 New Years Resolutions: How To Build A Foundation For Success

by Dieter Pauwels December 16, 2008

It’s that time of year when many of us formulate our resolutions for the coming year. Whether it is getting in shape, reducing debt, finding a better job, finding our soul mate, we all vow to become and do better in the future. 

But how come so many of us fail to keep our well-intended New Year’s resolutions?

Most goal setting seminars teach you that the first thing you have to do is become absolutely clear about what it is you want, create a plan and work the plan. While these are important steps moving forward, why is it that within 30 days, most resolutions will be no more than a vague memory?

We get discouraged when results don’t come quickly enough or we find that we are not necessarily happier because of them. The main reason however is because we do not fully understand ourselves and we haven’t learned how to manage ourselves more effectively.

Before setting any personal, business or career goals, it’s important to get a better understanding of yourself, because unless you take control of all the stuff inside of you that is running your life, nothing you do or say on January 1st will help you get or achieve what you really want.

When you look at your life - from the inside out - as something you are creating, rather than having external circumstances or others create it for you, you can take full responsibility for your own life's experiences.

In order to follow through and successfully achieve your New Years resolutions, your goals must be aligned or congruent with your core values and beliefs; the stuff that matters most in your life. Without these things, you would not be the person you are today.

New Years Resolutions / Core ValuesValues are basically ideals and principles that are important to you. They are usually expressed in abstract terms such as respect, freedom, love, justice, health, integrity, success and so forth. Beliefs on the other hand are essentially assumptions, agreements or judgments you have made (mostly subconsciously) about yourself, others and the world you live in. Limiting beliefs will hold you back, while empowering or positive beliefs move you forward. Often your values and beliefs are so much a part of who you are that they become invisible to you and difficult to identify.

Values and beliefs provide the foundation upon which your level of personal commitment, motivation perseverance and courage is built. If you build your goals or New Years resolutions upon a weak foundation, or you have cracks in the foundation, such as conflicting values or limiting beliefs, it will be difficult to overcome challenges and personal setbacks in pursuit of your goals.

Ultimately, the successful achievement of your goals will be a tangible expression of your core values and beliefs. 

At a deeper level, what you value the most and believe gives you a sense of who you are – a sense of self worth. It is from this unique point of self reference that you see and perceive the world around you. Most people live their lives consistent with their self image and will do almost anything to operate within the boundaries they have created. 

Every positive act of change in your life is fostered by a change in self-perception. This means that what is standing between you and your goals and dreams, are not circumstances – like the state of the economy – but the assumptions you have made about yourself.

Know Thyself!

Whether you want to lose weight, get out of debt, improve your sales, get organized, enjoy life more, spend more quality time with your family, start a business, or build a new career, identifying and clarifying your core values and inner beliefs is an important and necessary step toward personal achievement, fulfillment and success.

For more information on how to easily identify and strengthen your core beliefs and values, set and follow through on your 2009 resolutions, contact me or schedule an introduction life coaching session today.

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