Throughout your life’s experiences, you accumulate assumptions, accomplishments, habits, failures, judgments, opinions, beliefs and values. You have learned to define your sense of self based on these collected experiences, judgments, opinions and beliefs. They become the filter through which you see the world and determine how you experience your life. They also become the fabric of your perceived identity. When something threatens your sense of self, you adopt fear as a natural defense mechanism.

Fear is an emotional reaction to a projected and perceived loss or a change in the image your hold about yourself.  Your fears are a direct reflection of your most dominant thoughts, feelings and emotions that you associate with a future event.

The more you identify  - who you are - with, for example a job, a relationship, or making a certain amount of money, the more likely you will experience fear, anxiety and the need to control when circumstances change.

Other self sabotaging behaviors in the face of fear include procrastination, lack of focus, anger or resentment and pleasing others.

Free yourself from fear!
 
1) Identify the things you fear the most.

I’m afraid that …
I’m afraid to ….
I feel scared when …

2) Discover the underlying core fear.

Core human fears include commitment, responsibility, change, loss, confrontation, not measuring up and rejection.

What does your most dominant fear tell you about yourself and how you view and perceive the world around you? Identify any erroneous or limiting beliefs or assumptions about yourself. Listen to what you’re telling yourself, what’s your inner critic telling you?

3) Ask yourself :"Who would I be without that fear?"

During a life coaching conversation, a coaching client expressed her fear of getting hurt again in personal relationships. I asked her the following question: “Who would you be without that fear?"

She responded, "A more confident person who is open to new possibilities and willing to take chances."
Next I asked her, "What would be the opposite of the fear of being hurt?"
She responded: "The freedom to love and be loved."
"And isn't that what you really want?" I asked.

4) Focus on what you truly want.

The moment you focus on what you really want, instead of what you don't want, your mental energy is free to move you forward.  You no longer have to waste any resources thinking about the stuff you no longer want in your life. 

Some inner resources you want to draw on to create the results you desire, and free yourself from fear include self confidence, trust, commitment, creativity, flexibility, honesty, and patience and love. 

5) Adopt empowering beliefs that support what you really want.

In order to access these resources however, requires new and empowering beliefs.  Your beliefs should be positive and supportive of the changes you want to make, or the things you want to achieve.

When you change your beliefs, you change your expectations. When your expectations change, your attitude and consequent behavior changes!

"Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of every fear is a freedom."  
(Marilyn Ferguson)

Here are some techniques to use to help you shift your focus to supportive and positive beliefs: 

• Think of someone who could be a mentor to you. This person could be a friend, a parent, a spiritual leader, an author, co-worker, or anyone else who represents those inner resources and qualities that you seek.
  
• Ask yourself what this person believes. Then ask them directly what their beliefs are that help them to be successful. Give yourself the advice you think he or she would give you regarding your fears and limiting beliefs.

Realize that there is a causal relationship between the beliefs you hold about reality and the real events that just "seem" to happen to you.  You live your beliefs and therefore you seek the evidence to support them!

Ultimately, you are responsible for the changes you make in your life. The good news is that you already have the inner qualities and resources you need to make the changes you want. Accessing them requires confronting your fears, challenging your self-limiting beliefs, and then shifting your focus to move forward.  Once the choice to move forward opens up to you, seize the opportunity and choose freedom over fear!

About Dieter Pauwels:

Dieter Pauwels is a professional certified life, business and career coach, speaker and author, facilitating personal and organizational transformation. He works with both individuals and teams to create new possibilities, manage change and maximize their productivity and personal effectiveness.

You can visit his website at www.dieterpauwels.com or read his comments and thoughts on the impact of coaching on life and business on his blog at http://lifecoaching.dieterpauwels.com
 

What are some of the leadership lessons we can learn from the formation and synchronized movements of a flock of birds, like geese or starlings, to organize effective teams?

1. A common purpose or aim
 
When birds fly in formation, they travel about 70% faster than when they fly alone. When people share a common aim or sense of community, they achieve results more quickly by trusting one another. People can only be fully committed when the common objective of the team (or corporation) is aligned with their own individual objectives, values and principles.
In many companies, the overall (sales) targets only deliver on the aims of the people at the top of the hierarchy. In order to inspire people and create loyalty, company goals and targets need to be aligned with a broader common purpose. Shared objectives and principles will lead to increased creativity, innovations and new solutions. We need common ground to create uncommon results! 

2. Commitment to others
 
Birds of a feather flock together. The highly coordinated movements of a flock of birds are among the most fascinating phenomena to be found in nature. A flock of birds seems to turn and maneuver as a single unit, changing direction almost instantaneously.

Commitment to each other forms the foundation for synergy that allows a team to work in unity. Commitment to others can only be achieved through honest communication, contribution and cooperation. The individual commitment to a team effort is what makes a team successful! A strong sense of commitment creates a feeling of belonging and security.

3. Shared leadership
 
Observation shows that geese rotate leadership regularly and frequently. Different birds will be at the front of the flock every time it changes direction. Successful teams share leadership according to the changing circumstances. Leadership shifts to where it is most appropriate based on the individual skills, knowledge and strengths of its members. The old business paradigm, based on hierarchy – a single leader - and individualism, undermines the productivity and effectiveness of many teams.

About Dieter Pauwels:

Dieter Pauwels is a professional certified life, business and career coach, speaker and author, facilitating personal and organizational transformation. He works with both individuals and teams to create new possibilities, manage change and maximize their productivity and personal effectiveness.

You can visit his website at www.dieterpauwels.com or read his comments and thoughts on the impact of coaching on life and business on his blog at http://lifecoaching.dieterpauwels.com

Question # 1: "How Am I Committed?"

Why is it that we tell ourselves we want certain things but we don’t take action? We might have the best of intentions to make certain changes in our lives, yet we do not follow through on our resolutions? Does that mean we are lazy or undisciplined? Are we afraid of failure? Are we holding on to limiting beliefs about ourselves? We get frustrated when we think and say we are committed to wanting something for ourselves, but no action follows that voice of commitment.

When you fully commit to something, action always follows thought. There is no question, no debate, no doubt or struggle. You don’t wonder whether or not you will take action or not. Commitment goes beyond making a choice. I have never met a mother who had to think about and decide whether or not to feed her baby. People gain a mysterious strength and resolve when they make a commitment.

Commitment is a unique personal experience. As a personal coach I can offer you many possible commitment strategies, yet the best personal style of commitment comes from a deep emotional awareness within yourself. Often our commitments are invisible to us and we don’t think about them as commitments, it is what we do naturally. And that’s the whole point.

Recall a time in your life when you were committed to something. You were so deeply committed that there was no doubt in your mind, and taking action was almost automatic and effortless. Take some time to answer the following questions to discover the underlying structure of your own personal commitment strategy.

• When and where were you committed? Was it a commitment you made to yourself or others? Were there any external influences?
  
• What were some of the actions you took?
   
• How did you go about taking action? What was your strategy for taking action?  Did you write down your goal or commitment? Did you visualize your achievements? Did you call a friend or work with a personal life coach? What skills or capabilities did you use?
  
• What were some of the emotional reasons why you were committed? Reflect on the values and beliefs that motivated you to take action and follow through on your commitment.
  
• How did you benefit from taking action? What was the cost of not taking action at all?
  
• How did you think and feel about yourself as a person? Maybe you felt like a successful individual or a compassionate person.
  
• How did your commitment impact others?

Understanding and modeling your personal commitment strategy will help you create resolve to meet your New Year’s resolutions.

To your success in 2009!

Question # 10: "How am I spending my time?"
Question # 9: "What Would I Do If I Knew I Couldn't Fail?"
Question # 8: "Who Am I becoming?"
Question # 7: "What Am I Tolerating?"
Question # 6: "Where Do I Focus My Attention?"
Question # 5: "How Am I Using My Talents?
Question # 4: "Who Do I spend My Time With?
Question # 3: "How Do I Honor My Core Values?"
Question # 2: "What Do I Want?"
Question # 1: "How Am I Committed?"