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How to Conquer Your Fears: Part 2 of 3

by Dieter Pauwels January 28, 2009

Energy in motion creates emotion. The energy needed to move forward and fully engage in the process of your life comes from your emotional state. People who successfully manage their emotional state are masters of their own destiny! Unless you manage your fear, it will manifest itself as a negative emotion.  When this happens, fear blocks the energy you need to follow through on your goals, and create positive changes in your life. If you turn your fear around, however, you can use this "fear factor" as a powerful motivator to break through mental barriers.

When you allow fear to control your life, it creates strong emotional and physical reactions. Fear is what is behind comments like, I choked, I froze, or I felt paralyzed.  The reason you choke, freeze, or feel paralyzed in the face of fear, is because you get stuck in a single and limited perspective about the meaning of the fear that controls you.

Identify Self Limiting Beliefs 

Once you have identified the fear that has the most control over you, you then want to examine the limiting beliefs you hold about that fear. To elicit your limiting beliefs, ask yourself the following:

  • What does the fear mean to you? For instance:  What does failure mean to you? What does rejection mean to you? What does change mean to you?
  • What are the specific characteristics of the fear that are so troubling?
  • What does it mean to be the victim of the fear?  What does it mean to be a failure?  What does it mean to be rejected?  What does it mean to face change? 
  • How do you believe you will feel, or be perceived, if you fall victim to the fear?
  • Do you view the situation as an opportunity for growth or simply another reason to quit trying?

The fear itself is not holding you back so much as what you believe will happen if the fear actually turns out to be legitimate.  If you believe that your fears will cause only a temporary set back, you are much more likely to take a risk, than if you believe your fears will result in a permanent and negative outcome. 

The beliefs you hold about failure and success directly affect your emotional state and they greatly influence your behavior. Your behavior in turn influences the results you get. It is only when your results change, that your life will change!

 

 

When you change your perspective and inner representation about the fears that hold you back, you will build the self-confidence and trust necessary to move forward and fully engage in the process of your life.  Reaching this full engagement requires that you cast away the fear and the limiting beliefs. 

About Dieter Pauwels:

Professional Life CoachDieter Pauwels is a professional certified life, business and career coach, speaker and author, facilitating personal and organizational transformation. He works with both individuals and teams to create new possibilities, manage change and maximize their productivity and personal effectiveness.

You can visit his website at www.dieterpauwels.com or read his comments and thoughts on the impact of coaching on life and business on his blog at http://lifecoaching.dieterpauwels.com
 

 

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience
in which you really stop to look fear in the face."   (Eleanor Roosevelt)

How to Conquer Your Fears: Part 1 of 3

by Dieter Pauwels January 27, 2009

challenge your fearsOne of the biggest barriers we face when we seek to live the life we want is fear. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of rejection, fear of change, fear of commitment, and fear of loss are just a few of the many fears we experience. Fear is paralyzing. When you live with fear you don’t go anywhere. You end up backing away from opportunities and you unconsciously remove the things in your life that open up new possibilities and opportunities to you in the first place.

The best way to move forward in your career, your finances, your relationships, your sense of fulfillment, or any other aspect of your life, is to identify and challenge your fears. 

To do this takes a three-stage process:

1. Challenge Your Fears

Have you ever allowed fear to keep you from achieving, or even trying to achieve something you already know you want? I know I have. Within each experience of loss, rejection, failure, or hurt, there lies the opportunity to confront and challenge the fears and self-limiting beliefs you hold.

Unfortunately, most people either deny their fears, or run away from them, so they don't have to face them. This causes them to miss out on the opportunity to learn, grow and attract the things they really want in their lives.  Instead they get caught up in a pattern of procrastination, self-sabotage, and destructive behavior.

You can counteract this self-destruction by allowing yourself to become aware of your feelings.  Rather than letting your subconscious take over and act for you, when you allow yourself to feel, you gain clarity. Clarity brings forth compassion instead of judgment, and allows the energy of your heart to flow. With clarity also comes personal power and freedom of choice. You can choose to either take control of your fears or allow your fears to control you.

The choice is yours to make, but it only presents itself after you have honestly identified the fears that hold you back. To uncover the hidden fears that are keeping you from achieving, and being, everything you want, answer the following questions as honestly as possible:

  • Are you afraid of rejection, commitment, responsibility, loss, change, confrontation, or not measuring up?
  • Which fear has the most control over you in your life today?
  • What behaviors and/or habits have you developed as a means to protect yourself from this fear?
  • Who would you be without this fear? What would you be doing differently? How would you feel?

Understanding and identifying the fears and consequent behaviors that hold you back, is the first step in setting yourself free and living your life to the fullest.

"Nothing in life is to be feared.  It is only to be understood." ( Marie Curie)

How to Conquer Your Fears: Part 2 of 3 Identify Self Limiting Beliefs

How to Conquer Your Fears: Part 3 of 3 Free Yourself From Fear

About Dieter Pauwels:

Life and Career Coach Dieter PauwelsDieter Pauwels is a professional certified life, business and career coach, speaker and author, facilitating personal and organizational transformation. He works with both individuals and teams to create new possibilities, manage change and maximize their productivity and personal effectiveness.

You can visit his website at www.dieterpauwels.com or read his comments and thoughts on the impact of coaching on life and business on his blog at http://lifecoaching.dieterpauwels.com

How To Discover A New Path And Change Your Life

by Dieter Pauwels January 22, 2009

life coachingA wise man once said, "I can predict the future."
"Amazing!" The people shouted, "How can you do that?"
"It's easy", he said, "Most likely it will be a continuation of the present."

Even when the path you are currently on is not taking you where you want to go, the lures of comfort, safety, security, and familiarity pull you to continue in the same direction.  The notion of an easy and uneventful journey compels us to follow along the path of least resistance and complacently accept what life hands us. 

The problem is that, the longer you follow the same route, the harder it is to get off.  After a while, even when you come to a branch in the road, you blindly ignore it in favor of the expected and routine.  When this happens, the future can be foreseen.   Past experiences are simply recycled in the present.

How do you get on this predictable road?  It’s easy really, you simply don't take the time to contemplate what's really important to you.  You don’t think about what you want to accomplish, you don’t think about who you want to be, you don’t think about what will make you happy and content; all you do is react. 

When a log blocks your path, you might find a way over it.  To many people this is success.  But it is only truly successful if by hurtling the log, you get yourself closer to your desired goals.  If you haven’t thought about where you want to go, then how do you know whether you should go over the log or find a path that takes you away from the log altogether? 

When your company downsizes, do you panic and send out resumes en mass, hoping to secure a job somewhere else before you are laid off?  Or, do you use the opportunity as a time to contemplate starting a business, going back to school or finding a position that is better aligned with your core values, inner talents and strengths?  When you are offered a new position in a different state, do you automatically uproot your family and move across the country, or do you ask yourself if the opportunity is really right for you? 

You won’t know what alternatives to pursue if you don’t have a vision for your future. And without a vision, you won’t have the courage or motivation you need to swerve off your path.  Some people think that the little devil you know, is better than the little devil you don't know. But if you continue to face the same demons, how will you ever find out if a devil even exists on the other roads available to you? 

Through my life and career coaching experiences, I have found that most people know what they don't want in their lives, but cannot clearly envision the life they really do want. If I ask you not to think of a blue balloon, can you do it?  Probably not, in fact you are likely thinking of a blue balloon right now.  What that means is you are attending to the very thing I asked you not to.  The same holds true for the things you don’t want.  When you tell yourself what not to do or be, your attention will take you there anyway.

In order to make any changes in your life, all it really takes is to turn, perhaps ever so slightly, in the direction you truly want to go. Whether you turn east or west, north or south will depend on your vision for yourself.  Here’s how to prepare to change your destination and alter your life’s itinerary:

  • Accept where you are today.  The present is the only place from which you can move forward. An attitude of acceptance allows change and opens up the opportunity to find a new direction.
  • Allow yourself to carry only those experiences, beliefs and memories from the past that will support you on the road ahead.
  • Remember that the past is a trail that is behind you. It is neither good or bad, only thinking it is, makes it so.
  • Ask yourself, "Where can I go from here?" or "What steps can I take today that will take me down the path I really want to follow?"

The path of life has very wide shoulders; you are not limited to one narrow goat trail.  Following the one, well-beaten trail you see will lead you on an unfulfilling journey.  Create a vision for your future that excites you and motivates you, and then use that enthusiasm to clear a new trail – one that will take you exactly where you want to go, doing the things you are most passionate about, surrounded by the people you love. 

About Dieter Pauwels:

life and career coach Dieter PauwelsDieter Pauwels is a professional certified life, business and career coach, speaker and author, facilitating personal and organizational transformation. He works with both individuals and teams to create new possibilities, manage change and maximize their productivity and personal effectiveness.

You can visit his website at www.dieterpauwels.com or read his comments and thoughts on the impact of coaching on life and business on his blog at http://lifecoaching.dieterpauwels.com

 

Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

by Dieter Pauwels January 11, 2009

What are some of the leadership lessons we can learn from the formation and synchronized movements of a flock of birds, like geese or starlings, to organize effective teams?

1. A common purpose or aim
 
When birds fly in formation, they travel about 70% faster than when they fly alone. When people share a common aim or sense of community, they achieve results more quickly by trusting one another. People can only be fully committed when the common objective of the team (or corporation) is aligned with their own individual objectives, values and principles.
In many companies, the overall (sales) targets only deliver on the aims of the people at the top of the hierarchy. In order to inspire people and create loyalty, company goals and targets need to be aligned with a broader common purpose. Shared objectives and principles will lead to increased creativity, innovations and new solutions. We need common ground to create uncommon results! 

2. Commitment to others
 
Birds of a feather flock together. The highly coordinated movements of a flock of birds are among the most fascinating phenomena to be found in nature. A flock of birds seems to turn and maneuver as a single unit, changing direction almost instantaneously.

Commitment to each other forms the foundation for synergy that allows a team to work in unity. Commitment to others can only be achieved through honest communication, contribution and cooperation. The individual commitment to a team effort is what makes a team successful! A strong sense of commitment creates a feeling of belonging and security.

3. Shared leadership
 
Observation shows that geese rotate leadership regularly and frequently. Different birds will be at the front of the flock every time it changes direction. Successful teams share leadership according to the changing circumstances. Leadership shifts to where it is most appropriate based on the individual skills, knowledge and strengths of its members. The old business paradigm, based on hierarchy – a single leader - and individualism, undermines the productivity and effectiveness of many teams.


About Dieter Pauwels:

Dieter Pauwels is a professional certified life, business and career coach, speaker and author, facilitating personal and organizational transformation. He works with both individuals and teams to create new possibilities, manage change and maximize their productivity and personal effectiveness.

You can visit his website at www.dieterpauwels.com or read his comments and thoughts on the impact of coaching on life and business on his blog at http://lifecoaching.dieterpauwels.com

How To Be Happy: A Life Coaching Success Formula

by Dieter Pauwels January 10, 2009

One can wonder if happiness is real or even possible to achieve. What is it that makes people happy? When we set goals, pursue a career, or choose a relationship, we do so because we believe that ultimately it will make us feel a certain way. We believe it will make us happy!  Sometimes these things do make us happy, at least for a little while, and sometimes we feel even further removed from the prize in our pursuit of happiness.

What are the criteria by which we measure happiness? Is it love, success, personal growth, personal fulfillment or money?
Studies have shown that even the most wealthy people in the United States are only slightly happier than average. Take a look in People magazine, and you’ll see exactly what I’m talking about. Celebrities might be rich and famous, yet do most of them look happier than you or I? 

Based on scientific studies and my own research and experience as a professional certified life coach and business coach, I have created a success formula on how to be happy.

H = E + (U + C + I)

H stands for the level of Happiness

Happiness is experienced as an emotional state of being. You can only be happy in the present moment.
Happiness is not some sort of reward you’ll receive in the future for accomplishing certain tasks or getting what you think you want.  Sure, accomplishing a goal will probably make you happy, and pursuing one will too. However, just because you have a goal, doesn’t mean you’ll be happy.

When you project your feelings of happiness based on some event or circumstance in the future, like achieving a certain goal, getting a promotion at work or a possible future relationship, you’ll find yourself empty handed.  Expectation doesn’t always equal success, and you’re basically setting yourself up for a fall.

The reason this strategy doesn’t work is because what you fail to take into consideration is the fact that it’s still going to be the same person, namely you, with that promotion or in that new relationship. Real happiness is not something to be waited for. If you wait for things to change in your life in order to feel happy, you will miss out on that what you seek.

We all experience happiness in our own unique way. For example, I can experience happiness in the smile of a child, by the encouragement of a friend, a breakthrough during a life coaching conversation, watching a beautiful sunset or listening to a musical masterpiece performed by Andrea Bocelli.

E stands for Environment

Some people tend to be naturally or genetically happier than others. A new British study suggests that half the differences in happiness are related to genes. According to co-researcher Tim Bates, from the School of Philosophy, Psychology and Language Sciences at the University of Edinburgh, those happiness-related genes are genes for personality, namely for being extroverted, emotionally stable and conscientious. The genes that predispose people to happiness are related to certain personality traits such as being outgoing, calm and reliable. If you don't worry excessively and are sociable and conscientious, you are more likely to be happier.

We all have inner resources or capabilities to develop a happier lifestyle. When you make a commitment to personal growth and self development, you can further develop and strengthen your personal happiness related qualities.

U stands for Understanding

Seek to understand what makes you happy. Yes we all want to be happy, yet we don’t always know what makes us happy.

Many people have a pretty good idea about the stuff that doesn’t make them happy or the things they do no longer want in their lives. They continue to talk about the job they don’t like or the fact that they don’t get paid enough for the work they do. Others keep complaining about their relationships at home or at work.  The more you focus on what you don’t want, the more likely you will attract similar circumstances in your life. Also, when you define happiness based on what other people are saying or doing, it will be difficult for you to experience it.

Everyone is unique. We all seek different ways and capacities to experience happiness. Once you get clear on what happiness means to you, the more likely it is that you will experience it.

Once you understand how specifically you operate, and what motivates you (core beliefs, values and goals) you maximize your innate ability to find value and happiness in all expressions and experiences of your life.

A personal coach can help you identify your core values, strengths and beliefs, and develop a plan to achieve and enjoy a higher level of authentic happiness. Identifying, acknowledging and understanding your unique way of being allows you to choose and create more of the experiences that make you happy.

C stands for Circumstances

Circumstances come from the outside, the things over which you have little control. Sometimes the odds are in your favor and sometimes they are against you. You can’t control the state of the economy, or the weather, or the way people behave or react. The more you let outside forces determine your overall state of happiness, the more it will elude you.

Receiving a nice bonus can make you happy – at least for a while, but enduring happiness can only come from the inside, and that’s something you can control.

I stands for Intentional

This is under your control. The emotional state and consequent feelings of happiness depend on what you allow yourself to experience. Setting your intent is about directing your focus in the present moment toward a future outcome or goal. Because of the constantly changing environment of your life, setting your intent is an ever renewing process. When you set your intent, you are opening the doors to create the kinds of life experiences that you want to have.

Your intentions are thoughts, and your thoughts are energy. Your thoughts affect your emotional state and the way you feel about the things in your life. The way you feel will greatly influence the actions you decide to take or not to take. The actions you take determine the results you get.

These results will affect your life experiences and create your perception of reality. What you perceive to be true for yourself will shape your beliefs and your outlook on life. That’s why happy people live happy lives and angry people live angry lives. It is a self fulfilling prophecy!

Happiness is a way of being. It is being appreciative of who you are. It is being grateful for the unique talents you have been blessed with. Happiness is the joy of being alive. Happiness is that inner knowing that you made a contribution, that you gave your best effort possible, no matter the ultimate outcome.

Happiness has no regrets. Happiness comes from the heart and has a profound effect on your physical, emotional and spiritual well being.

Happiness is a choice! Be the cause of your own happiness and watch the ripple effect it has on others.

Choose happiness. Make it a habit.


About Dieter Pauwels:

Dieter Pauwels is a professional certified life, business and career coach, speaker and author, facilitating personal and organizational transformation. He works with both individuals and teams to create new possibilities, manage change and maximize their productivity and personal effectiveness.

You can visit his website at www.dieterpauwels.com or read his comments and thoughts on the impact of coaching on life and business on his blog at http://lifecoaching.dieterpauwels.com

How To Achieve Personal Balance

by Dieter Pauwels January 7, 2009

We are living in a fast paced world and it seems to be moving faster each year. With more commitments, schedules, to-do lists, appointments, voice mails and e-mails, we often experience increased stress and a sense of being overwhelmed. Do you sometimes feel your life is out of balance? Do you sometimes envision your life with less tension, less stress, pressure, and more balance?

If you have ever watched a pendulum you were probably mesmerized by the peaceful, almost melodic, back and forth movement. This rhythm and flow is reflected in our lives and can teach us a great deal about balance and personal growth. Just as a pendulum swings back and forth so do we, as we journey through life. 

A pendulum’s movement teaches and reinforces for us that life is not static. The pendulum is constantly moving from one side to the other. Moving continuously, the rhythm is constant between two opposites.

Life mimics this movement in accordance with a prescribed rhythm. We are constantly moving between opposing emotions and states: in and out, up and down, back and forth, positive and negative, excess and deficiency, high and low, order and chaos, hope and despair, ignorance and understanding.

All things move from side to side. Think of the business cycle. As the economy expands and contracts we move through peaks of prosperity to troughs of economic recession and even depression. Just as the tide is not always high and the moon is not always full, your life follows an orderly cycle as well.

No set of circumstances is forever. When you feel down or things are not working out the way you want, don't feel discouraged. Know that things will swing back up and get better. They always do!

"There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without the measure of darkness and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness." (Carl Jung)

By accepting the highs and lows in your life, and always keeping in mind that things will change, your whole perspective on living will change along with it. When you understand that everything in life follows a constant rhythm between two opposites, you can better appreciate and fully enjoy all the stages in the cycle of life.

Embracing each stage in life allows you to experience personal growth and balance. Here’s how:

  • Know your situation will improve and do not dwell on the negative. 
  • Choose to learn from every experience you have.
  • Understand that failure is part of every success. 
  • Accept the good and bad, the highs and lows, and look for the lessons in each and every moment.
  • Know there is a time and place for everything.
  • When you reach a goal, take time to celebrate, relax and recharge your batteries.
  • Know that reaching success is not the end point. Begin to lay the groundwork for the next goal and prepare yourself for more ups and downs
  • Allow yourself to get back "in the swing" of things and follow your path of least resistance.
Your life is rich with experiences. Some will be wonderful and enjoyable, others will not. The key to personal balance is choosing to learn from everything that happens in your life. Ride your life’s pendulum. Enjoy the fruits of your hard work when you are at the top, and prepare to replant and weather the storms on the downswing before the next harvest. 

7 Life Coaching Tips to Help You Follow Through on Your New Year’s Resolutions

by Dieter Pauwels January 5, 2009

1. Get excited

You have more options and thus more opportunities than ever before. This also means that you will have more choices to make. Take responsibility and get excited about the choices you will make now as they will determine your level of success and personal satisfaction in the future. Conversely, if you feel that you are "making do" or just settling for something, you can expect more of the same and set yourself up for possible failure.

2. Why versus how

One of the main reasons people fail in following through on their resolutions is because they have not developed enough compelling reasons why they should change. Once you are clear about what you want, whether it is a personal goal or business objective, create a strong "emotional awareness" for yourself. This means that you have to go beyond your thoughts and carry it over to your emotions. Fall in love with the process of reaching your goals.

3. Associate with the right people

Look for family, friends or co-workers who believe in you and support you. Seek the assistance from a personal coach who can give you the learning, strategies, motivation and accountability to achieve your goals.

4. Sweat the small stuff

Henry Ford once said that if you break a big job into small parts it will become easy. Ask yourself what activities are necessary each day and every week to move you in the direction of your goals.

5. Choose feedback versus failure

Many people don’t set goals because they are afraid they might fail. Remember that failure is a concept that only exists in your mind. When you don’t get immediate results, you have not failed, but you have only  produced a certain result. So whatever the results are, consider it feedback and not failure. Ask yourself:"What can I learn from the result I produced?" It is within the answer to this question that you will discover new opportunities and learn better ways of creating the results you seek. At all times remain flexible.

6. What you focus on expands

Focus on what reaching your goal will mean to you, your family, friends or colleagues. Create a mental picture in your mind of the new and improved you and let go of the limiting beliefs and thoughts of your current situation. When you focus on what you don’t have (yet) or focus on the voids in your life, you will only get more of it.

7. Teamwork makes the dream work

When you set goals, think how others will benefit as well. Selfish goals have little merit. Success in any endeavor can only be achieved with and through others.

Compelling goals will give you the ability to grow and stay focused in times of social and economic change. Goals will not only pull you in the direction where you want to go, but also influence the activities you get involved in and the people you meet along the way.  You will find that the path you take, the direction you choose is what is most rewarding. It’s not so much what you will get when you reach your destination or achieve your goal, it’s the person you will become when you get there that defines you for yourself and others.

To your success in 2009!

Top 10 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Setting Personal Goals

by Dieter Pauwels January 2, 2009

As you enter the New Year, I invite you to take a step back and look at your life as it is today, get a sense of where you are going and where your priorities lie. 

The following ten life coaching questions will help keep you on track moving forward. They will help you to refocus in those moments when you feel uncertain about what you’re doing and why. They will provide guidance, direction and support when you feel that certain events are controlling you.

Some of these powerful questions can produce that ‘breakthrough moment’ when you understand a situation more clearly from a new or different perspective. Other questions invite introspection and will lead to a greater self awareness, more creativity, additional solutions and new insights.


Question # 10: "How am I spending my time?"
How you choose to spend your time is how you spend your life. How can you manage yourself more effectively allowing you to spend more time in those areas that are most important in your life? What choices will you make? [Read More]


Question # 9: "What Would I Do If I Knew I Couldn't Fail?"
The only way to create results in your life is by taking action. Realize that, succeed or fail, you will produce results from which you will learn. Don’t be afraid of failure; be afraid of not taking action! [Read more]


Question # 8: "Who Am I becoming?"
How satisfied are you with the person you are becoming? What kind of person do you see yourself becoming in the New Year? If you want to have more and experience more in life, you have to become more. [Read more]


Question # 7: "What Am I Tolerating?"
What have you been tolerating at work, at home or in your social environment in the past year? What are the things you wish would resolve themselves somehow? Here are some life coaching tips to help you eliminate the things that you no longer want in your life. [Read more]


Question # 6: "Where Do I Focus My Attention?"
Your mind cannot tell the difference between something you think about or focus on that you do want, and the stuff you think about that you don’t want. Your mind is a very effective goal seeking mechanism and seeks to create precisely what you focus on. The key is to direct your focus on the goals and experiences that you do want in your life. [Read more]


Question # 5: "How Am I Using My Talents?
When you talk with people who have achieved a high level of success in their lives, you’ll find that they have found ways to incorporate their passions and talents into their daily activities. They also experience more fulfillment and balance because they intentionally played to their talents. Do you know what your talents are? How do you go about discovering some of your talents or natural abilities? [Read more]


Question # 4: "Who Do I spend My Time With?
The people you spend most of your time with have a strong influence on you. When you are surrounded by negative or angry people, you will absorb some of their negativity or anger. When you spend time with people who inspire you, support you and believe in you, their positive energy will boost your motivation, self-confidence and inner strength.[Read more]


Question # 3: "How Do I Honor My Core Values?"
Your core values express the essence of who you are. Although you may share similar values with others, you have a unique set of values. Many of the important decisions that you make, and the actions you take, are based on the values that you hold. Your values, together with the beliefs that support them, are an energetic driving force and provide meaning and direction in your life.[Read more]


Question # 2: "What Do I Want?"
Think of yourself as the majority shareholder in your life. What are some of the strategic decisions that will help you grow and flourish in the New Year? What will you vote "yes" for in your life? What will you vote "no" for? Choose, decide, take action, and make 2009 your best year ever! [Read more]


Question # 1: "How Am I Committed?"
Why is it that we tell ourselves we want certain things but we don’t take action? We might have the best of intentions to make certain changes in our lives, yet we do not follow through on our resolutions? Does that mean we are lazy or undisciplined? Are we afraid of failure? Are we holding on to limiting beliefs about ourselves? We get frustrated when we think and say we are committed to wanting something for ourselves, but no action follows that voice of commitment. [Read more]

Ten Life Coaching Questions To Ask Yourself Into the New Year (1/10)

by Dieter Pauwels January 1, 2009

Question # 1: "How Am I Committed?"

Why is it that we tell ourselves we want certain things but we don’t take action? We might have the best of intentions to make certain changes in our lives, yet we do not follow through on our resolutions? Does that mean we are lazy or undisciplined? Are we afraid of failure? Are we holding on to limiting beliefs about ourselves? We get frustrated when we think and say we are committed to wanting something for ourselves, but no action follows that voice of commitment.

When you fully commit to something, action always follows thought. There is no question, no debate, no doubt or struggle. You don’t wonder whether or not you will take action or not. Commitment goes beyond making a choice. I have never met a mother who had to think about and decide whether or not to feed her baby. People gain a mysterious strength and resolve when they make a commitment.

Commitment is a unique personal experience. As a personal coach I can offer you many possible commitment strategies, yet the best personal style of commitment comes from a deep emotional awareness within yourself. Often our commitments are invisible to us and we don’t think about them as commitments, it is what we do naturally. And that’s the whole point.

Recall a time in your life when you were committed to something. You were so deeply committed that there was no doubt in your mind, and taking action was almost automatic and effortless. Take some time to answer the following questions to discover the underlying structure of your own personal commitment strategy.

  • When and where were you committed? Was it a commitment you made to yourself or others? Were there any external influences?
  • What were some of the actions you took?
     
  • How did you go about taking action? What was your strategy for taking action?  Did you write down your goal or commitment? Did you visualize your achievements? Did you call a friend or work with a personal life coach? What skills or capabilities did you use?
  • What were some of the emotional reasons why you were committed? Reflect on the values and beliefs that motivated you to take action and follow through on your commitment.
  • How did you benefit from taking action? What was the cost of not taking action at all?
  • How did you think and feel about yourself as a person? Maybe you felt like a successful individual or a compassionate person.
  • How did your commitment impact others?

Understanding and modeling your personal commitment strategy will help you create resolve to meet your New Year’s resolutions.

To your success in 2009!

 

 

 

Question # 10: "How am I spending my time?"
Question # 9: "What Would I Do If I Knew I Couldn't Fail?"
Question # 8: "Who Am I becoming?"
Question # 7: "What Am I Tolerating?"
Question # 6: "Where Do I Focus My Attention?"
Question # 5: "How Am I Using My Talents?
Question # 4: "Who Do I spend My Time With?
Question # 3: "How Do I Honor My Core Values?"

Question # 2: "What Do I Want?"
Question # 1: "How Am I Committed?"

 

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